Hi Lorraine,

Thank you so much for writing me. I've been thinking about you as well. I can
relate to you when you say that you dreaded the holidays. I have such mixed
emotions when it comes to Christmas. I almost have a feeling of guilt because
I'm going to be celebrating it knowing that he won't be here. I feel like
hiding under my covers and praying that I can just sleep from Christmas past his
due date of January 7. I can't believe how quickly that date seems to be
coming. When I first lost him a day felt like a week, and a week felt like a
month. Now it's seems like the days are moving faster than ever before. I have
this strange anxious feeling, I just feel like I want the holidays and his due
date to pass as quickly as possible. That way I feel like I won't have this
feeling of anxiety and helplessness anymore. I keep telling myself, that once I
get through the holidays and the month of January, I won't hurt as much. On the
other hand, I feel like after January I will hurt even
more because I know he is supposed to be here. Honestly Lorriane, I'm not sure
how I feel anymore. I cry at everything, I feel stressed out constantly, I've
stopped talking to a lot of my friends. Most of the time I want to be alone,
and when I am alone I want company badly. My daugther is the one thing that I
feel is keeping me sane. I've started picking up some of my hobbies and
interests again. I'm hoping that this will help me get my mind of the pain. A
friend of mine invited me to do some Xmas shopping across the boarder, so that
should be fun.

As per support groups for families who have lost children. I know there are
quite a few in my area. Strangely, I never felt the need to attend any. I just
felt like I was in to much pain to hear anyone else's story. But after
attending the group last Monday, I really think I'm going to make some phone
calls. I think I'm better equipped now than I was before....not that I think it
really matters in a support group. I think I'm going to make some phone calls
today. I'm hoping that I can start a group this week....wish me luck.

Well take care and I hope to hear from you soon. All the best.

Love Sarah

L & M Bourguignon <boogs3@...> wrote:
Hi Sarah

I just read your email and I have been thinking about you and how you are
doing a lot. I remember how awful those first few months were. I pray you
will find peace and comfort throughout the holidays. I remember Christmas
last year was awful for me. I spent a lot of the day crying in bed because
my son should have been there with us. I am hoping this year will be a lot
better and I am actually looking forward to it instead of dreading it.

I read about the bereavement group you went to. Are there any other groups
you could attend for people who have lost babies. Here in Australia we have
SIDS and Kids which is specifically for losses in pregnancy and up to 1 year
old. I went to a couple of group meetings last year and also saw one of
their councellors for a while. I found it very beneficial as everyone that
works there has been through the same thing more or less and knows all the
feelings that come with it.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you over the holidays.

Love Lorraine
xoxox
-----Original Message-----
From: sarmaloney [mailto:sarmaloney@...]
Sent: 22 November 2004 08:27
To: placentaabruption@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [Placenta Abruption] Happy Thanksgiving!



Hi everyone,

I hope you are well. I would like to say Happy Thanksgiving to
everyone who is celebrating. I would love to have some Thanksgiving
turkey with all the trimmings right now. But I had mine way back in
October....Canadian Thanksgiving.

I hope everyone is doing well. As for myself, I went to my first
bereavement group last Monday with my husband. It's conducted by
the funeral home that we made Keegan's arrangements with. I felt
sick to my stomach when I found out the class was being held in the
same room where we had the viewing. I started crying as soon as we
walked in cus I had memories of where his casket was placed and all
my emotions from that day came back full force. I had a difficult
time relating to anyone in the group because everyone there had
either lost a spouse or parent. Everyone had past memories about
their loved ones. I didn't really have any. We were the only ones
who lost a child. The next session is tomorrow night. I feel
really nervous....I'm not sure why?

Well, I hope you all have a safe and yummy Thanksgiving....God Bless.

Sarah






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