Thanks guys for the support....

I have to say that I certainly am not "marinating in drama!" Quite
the opposite. Staying far, far away from any of that!..that's why I
left. My ex's son was causing all the drama this time. I really do
think there are drugs involved. That's where all the drama came from,
sadly. My p/a just used his son as a way to get out of the
relationship, but he's done it very badly, I'm afraid.

My friends have actually been quite wonderful. I've constantly had
friends come to visit me. One friend came all the way from Vegas and
stayed with me for a few days. Another old friend of the family came
down to visit me last weekend for 3 days, another one is coming next
week, so I am definitely getting lots of support. The ones who've
been contacted by my p/a have been ignoring him completely. I can't
control my friends if they want to tell me, and actually, it's just
more proof to me when they tell me that I did the right thing. It's
not them telling me what he's doing that bothers me. It's just
painful that this man is so much more damaged than I initially
realized. I think that realization is what hurts the most. I guess I
am surprised at how sick this guy is. Seems all his stuff is coming
out with this break up...and it's definitely not pretty! It's
actually more pity than anything else.

I think I'm just really grieving the relationship. That's what
hurts. I know in time it'll all pass. He's just going through the
anger part of the grieving process at the moment and making a total
ass of himself! That's painful to witness, and embarrassing, since
he's been acting out with a lot of my friends! I've been lighting a
lot of candles for him and his sons.

I am definitely focusing on myself these days. And that does help.
I also know, though, that I have to reach out to people so I don't
feel like I'm doing this alone. I know I'm not, but sometimes I feel
like a lot of my support network doesn't really understand the p/a
thing. You guys do because you've lived through it. That's why I
posted that comment last night. I do appreciate all of your support
and concern. Thanks for being there for me. :)

Monica
P.S. Kim...hang in there. I wasn't ready to move on for a long time.
God did this one! If He wants you out of there, believe me, He'll let
you know! :)


passiveaggressivesupport@yahoogroups.com, "M." <mollybme@...> wrote:
>
> Hi Monica,
>
> > result, I've been finding out "through the grapevine" some very
weird
> > stuff from my friends that my ex is doing
>
> Snip that vine. Don't let your 'friends' tell you this stuff. If
they contact you with
> complaints about him contacting them, tell them to send him away
and shut him down themselves.
> Right now, you're marinating in drama. You're probably
yelling, "but I don't WANT drama!" Well,
> then shut it down.
>
> Are you getting any IRL support? Support group?
>
> My experience thus far is that putting the focus on myself - how
am I feeling, how am I detaching
> - and work on letting go of expectations the P/A will play at all
fair, I feel my real pain ...
> and then it dissipates.
>
> HTH.
>
> M.
>
>
>
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