Lindsay--
If he's cheating on you, what are you going to do? Has he done this before?
Hmmm. You haven't done anything 'to deserve this' but if you keep tolerating it,
you'll pretty much get what you get. I belong to several groups for people
involved with sex addicts (which my hb also is) and I'm constantly amazed at
what people will put up with. I'm not saying you particularly, but I do know
that until we who live with pa's/addicts are willing to set limits, and risk
everything (get sober or get out, basically) we will live with chaos, active
addiction, lies, and often abuse. What kind of life is that?
My hb is in recovery from the SA, and has realized that his pa is part of his
addictive system. He's had a rough couple of days as I have pointed out that
much of what he does is actually pretty selfish. He was able to hear this, and
processed it somewhat. He got depressed, which seems natural when faced with
behaviors that he has always thought were normal and now is realizing are
controlling, selfish, and destroy intimacy. He can't blame me anymore for the
chaos he's creating.
But it has taken a long long long time to get here and had I not put my foot
down, we'd never be here at all. And often, as far as we've come, it's still
pretty crappy here, but there are far more bright spots than dark places, and
it's a lot better than it's ever been.
Good luck!
Jen
_________________________________________________________________
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