Hi guys,

Good stuff on here today. Funny, too, because my guy just pulled a
fast p/a thing on me. So glad I have a forum here to vent safely. :)

I am now living away from my p/a in LA. He's still in Northern
California. I came up there to spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with
him and his sons (who I'm helping to raise). I really helped the
family have a nice Thanksgiving and Christmas. I was generous with
my gifts and we had a huge Holiday Party that I organized. We agreed
months ago to him coming down to LA for New Year's (I said it was
okay for them to come down New Year's Day since the oldest son had a
New Year's Eve party to go to last night...which I thought was pretty
big of me. I was left alone on New Year's Eve!). Well..it's 1 p.m.
on New Year's and he's nowhere near LA. They were supposed to leave
early in the morning. He has called a few times saying, "we forgot
the cell phone charger...had to turn back", then it was "I missed the
exit" (he's only been taking this same route for YEARS!!). So,
believe you me, this stuff doesn't end. When I called him on it, he
tried to turn it around on me, as usual. Definitely something to
bring up in couples counseling. :) I guess what bugs me the most is
the lack of respect p/a's feel they can get away with. Like you
said...no responsibility for their actions, and then they try to
blame you. When I confronted him about the way he's acting, his
response was "well, things happen." Yeah, right. Soooo passive
aggressive!!! So, I guess my message to everyone here is: learn what
works for you in the relationship and what doesn't. If you feel
you're still getting enough good from the relationship, stay in it.
If not, don't. I certainly will not be running up to Northern
California for the Holidays again to be disrespected on New Year's!
That's "fer sher!"

Hang in there,
Monica

--- In passiveaggressivesupport@yahoogroups.com, Equiskr@... wrote:
>
> _Passive-Aggressive HOWandWhy_
> (http://passiveaggressive.homestead.com/howandwhy.html)
>
> Lindsay.....The above link talks about the people on the other end
of a PA
> person, I found to be very insightful. I too am still struggling
with
> co-dependency and a PA person. I hate when the act likes nothing
every happened.
> My BF of 17 years has NEVER taken any responsibility for his
actions, and
> always makes light of any of his mess ups. I feel like I am never
taken
> seriously. He does love me in his dysfunctional way just as I
still love him in my
> own dysfunctional way. I am struggling to better myself and
become a strong
> person to do the right thing in my own life. We cannot change
them but we
> can change ourselves...Kim
>
>
>
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> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>