Hi Lindsay,

Welcome! Sounds like you are very observant. Congrats on coming to
terms with the situation and trying to figure out a way to make it
work for you, whatever the outcome.

I can tell you that once I figured out what the problem was (I
started to research passive aggressive personality disorder), I was
able to detach from it since I knew why he did some of the things he
did, and that made it a lot easier to deal with. I didn't
personalize it as much. If anything, I feel sorry for the way my guy
was brought up, and I try to empathize, but not at my own expense.

I ended up not being able to live with my boyfriend (it stressed me
out too much), but we still see each other on weekends and holidays
now. Once I started to pull away for my own good, ironically, it
seemed to help our situation. He didn't want to lose me, and me
leaving made it pretty obvious to him that it might end. It actually
forced the issue. As a result, he's now in therapy, has been
reading, "Living with the Passive Aggressive Male," and we're in
couples' counseling, actually talking about all of this. He has been
working on his issues, slowly, and I'm able to continue to live my
life without feeling so stressed out all the time.

Hope this gives you some hope as we enter the New Year. :)

Hang in there,
Monica




--- In passiveaggressivesupport@yahoogroups.com, Lindsay Nielson
<lindsly05@...> wrote:
>
> Hi
>
> My name is Lindsay and I am in desperate need for suggestions and
solutions. It's more than obvious that the boyfriend I have had for 2
years is struggling with Passive aggression and It has taken a toll
on me emotionally.. I am always confused by his behavior and feel
that he constantly causes fights before holidays so he can go and do
his own thing. He then comes back and acts like nothing ever
happened and I usually give in because I desire so deeply to have a
relationship with him.. He comes from a very disturbing background..
Parents put him in the middle of a divorce and he has anger issues
with his mom. He avoids showing any affection and goes out of his
way to make me feel unloved by calling me names and picking on me. I
believe, I too have a problem with co-dependency and really need some
encouragement to get out of this and stay strong.. Any suggestions
will be greatly appreciated.
>
> Thanks,
>
> Lindsay
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>