Hi,

Welcome to the p/a online support group. Took a lot of guts to admit
you're a p/a and that you want to repair your friendships. Very cool
stuff. Guess the best advice I can give is, keep talking about it,
like you're doing, and just try to give them the space and time they
need. I suggested a book to my p/a to read, "Living with the Passive-
Aggressive Man". He actually has read it, and it has helped us a
lot. It's a very informative book on the subject. You might want to
mention this book to your friends and let them decide if they want to
get it or not. I certainly wouldn't force it on them (although if
you're the p/a, you probably don't force much on anybody, huh). It
might help them to understand you more, and hopefully they'll be able
to forgive you. If not, you can at least walk away knowing you did
the right thing, and that you tried your best. Also, I know my p/a
has a really hard time following up with things like this. You might
want to contact them again (maybe a phone call instead of an
email?). It would show you really want to repair the friendship. If
you withdraw and don't follow up, they might just see it as yet
another p/a move on your part. Just a suggestion....

Hope that helps.

Welcome,
Monica

--- In passiveaggressivesupport@yahoogroups.com, "orange_jce_15"
<orange_jce_15@...> wrote:
>
> hey
>
> im a new member.. i just read about p/a and i know i have it.. all
> symptoms and causes are a direct hit from what i received from my
> childhood to how i act now.
>
> the thing is, i have two best friends. they love me as much as i
love
> them. the first one, G, understands me a lot and on my "tantrum"
days
> he would just accept everything and let it go. but i fear he can
only
> hold so much and lately, he's being cold to me and i think its
> something to do with my last tantrums and cold shoulders to him.
the
> other one, F, got mad at me because i lost my job and due to the
> pressures and staggers from my family, i poured it out to him, and
he
> misunderstood it as blaming him or others and throwing my life of
the
> track. i tried explaining my reasons of leaving but to date he
hasn't
> replied a single email. we are to fetch him this sat and i think he
> doesn't want me to know. (another p/a thing) but when i ask G, he
> hasn't heard of him either. constantly i doubt the intentions of
> these two people which had led to me hurting them constantly. i
wold
> say sorry and they's let it go, but the thing is, a person can only
> hold so much.. now i just want to repair our friendship and recover
> from being p/a even in my own way first. please help thanks!
>