hey

im a new member.. i just read about p/a and i know i have it.. all
symptoms and causes are a direct hit from what i received from my
childhood to how i act now.

the thing is, i have two best friends. they love me as much as i love
them. the first one, G, understands me a lot and on my "tantrum" days
he would just accept everything and let it go. but i fear he can only
hold so much and lately, he's being cold to me and i think its
something to do with my last tantrums and cold shoulders to him. the
other one, F, got mad at me because i lost my job and due to the
pressures and staggers from my family, i poured it out to him, and he
misunderstood it as blaming him or others and throwing my life of the
track. i tried explaining my reasons of leaving but to date he hasn't
replied a single email. we are to fetch him this sat and i think he
doesn't want me to know. (another p/a thing) but when i ask G, he
hasn't heard of him either. constantly i doubt the intentions of
these two people which had led to me hurting them constantly. i wold
say sorry and they's let it go, but the thing is, a person can only
hold so much.. now i just want to repair our friendship and recover
from being p/a even in my own way first. please help thanks!