My 12yr old didn't speak till was 3 and began school at that time for
special education. He then was extremely shy up until around 3rd
grade and has been more social since then. He has struggled
extensively in school and a couple of years ago I took him to the
neurologist and he diagnosed him with ADHD the inattentive type. A
quick run down on what he is like. He is very spacey, but mostly he
is extremely sweet. He is somewhat of a perfectionist in that he
hates to be wrong and will not admit it, almost ever. He can be very
helpful. The problems we are having really have gotten unbearably bad
the last 3 years or so. He would lose things at school spend all of
his time in the learning lab and then just spent most of his time
sitting and doing nothing unless someone was holding his hand. Then
when he would come home, he would get angry at me for trying to get
him to do his work and would tell me he needed help and then after I
explained it he wouldn't do anything. He would just sit with a daze
and do nothing. Then we would go through an ugly cyle of me losing my
temper and he getting mad and just doing nothing. This would go on
till it was way past bedtime and he would finally do it within thirty
minutes. He was behind in school, frustrated and neither of us could
take the dawn to dusk misery. I was operating under the assumption
the he was overwhelmed, and struggling with learning disabilites and adhd.

I decided to take him out of school to give him more time and the one
on one instruction I thought he needed and to help give a stress free
learning environment. Oh man, it has been absolutely almost
unbearable, but enligntening. I've discovered the my son is playing
me everytime I try to teach him. He turns into a
horrible,disrespectful, game playing child. He likes to lay his head
down and zone into nothing while I'm talking to him. He taps his
hands, makes silly faces. Gives me silly sarcastic answers and then
when I tell him the instructions he just blatently ignores and asks
questions off the cuff repeatedly. When I'm at the point of total
anger and tears and walk away so I don't flip out on him he says don't
go somewhat kindly and says he needs help. If I come back to help he
starts all over again with pleasure. He has said he doesn't do work
because he doesn't want to, or because I've made him mad. He just
becomes completely obnoxious and unreasonable when he knows that I've
had enough and we're done, he stops acting like that as if it never
happened. I know I need to get us into counseling for PA, but what
can I do until I get the referrel. He has to learn, but he won't with
or with help. He plays dumb or whatever role that will irritate me
until he gets out of it.

Thanks Brandi