Good advice. However, you can have boundaries such as not accepting the blame.
By this I mean:
When he blames, say: I can tell you're upset by the situation, but this isn't my
fault. I'm not the enemy, and I won't tolerate blaming. THEN WALK AWAY.
They'll try to engage you in fighting. Don't even go there. Nobody wins.
Boundaries, patience, and prayer are the ways to handle PA I'm convinced.
Jen

-----Original Message-----
From: Equiskr@...
To: passiveaggressivesupport@yahoogroups.com
Date: Wed, 8 Aug 2007 23:52:40 EDT
Subject: Re: [Passive Aggressive Support] Hello..new frustrated member


In a message dated 8/8/2007 12:28:53 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
no_reply@yahoogroups.com writes:

How
do you get them to realize their behavior.

I am going to send him a link to a PA site that explains the
symptoms ..hoping that he will at least see himself. But I know how
they see themselves…as not to blame for anything and always right.




Sending a PA info on a PA NEVER works!! My bf of 17 years tells me when he
read it, it sounded like it was my behavior. I am the furthest thing from
a PA. I know that, however I do have OCD, with anxiety issues almost my
whole life. A PA tends to pray on low self esteem women upping any ego they
may
have in turn the person with low self esteem gets insults and fed bad info
on them, creating a vicious circle of codependency. This is my
situation...I am still with him and very co-dependent.

You can not show him the error of his ways or make him understand, you have
to work only on yourself, accepting him for who he is or get out. Best to
get out as I have been told many times. If I only would take my own advice,
but I fear no one else will ever want me with my issues. A PA is one of the
most difficult people who would ever see that they are a PA, it is part of
their traits, they will never take responsibility and always put their own
screw
ups on another. So rather than try to change him or get him to understand
you have to change yourself. Here is a great site on your side of a PA
relationship. _Passive-Aggressive HOWandWhy_
(http://www.passiveaggressive.homestead.com/HOWandWhy.html)



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