Hi Tony,
I don't know how much help I will be. I am not dealing with a passive-aggressive
spouse who I have many years invested in. But I have done a lot of researching
passive-aggression and learned a lot. My boyfriend of a little over a year is
p-a. Before I understood this, I went through a lot of self-doubt, confusion and
frustration.

My advice would include: learn as much as you can, don't react with anger to
your wife's p-a actions, and try and be accepting of her. A passive-aggressive's
underlying emotion is fear, and the person they are hurting the most is
themselves. Knowing that helps me deal with my guy. They like to get negative
reactions from people, to reinforce their feeling that they were right all along
about you. And the more you push them, the harder they will resist. Here are
some sites with really helpful info:

http://www.earley.org/Patterns/passive_aggressive.htm
http://www.passiveaggressive.homestead.com/SUGGESTIONS.html
http://www.coping.org/anger/passive.htm

Good luck, keep a positive attitude, try and stay happy, and be good to
yourself!
Debra

"Tony J." <alittlerust@...> wrote:
married to my wife for 28 years. Passive aggressive behavior has become
prevalent in the last 8 years. failed with several different
counselors. She outright quit the last one. Have not been speaking
since Xmas. I have always approached first in the past and pushed for
counseling/working together with the usual results.
Now what?






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