The Christmas incident was actually the second time I really tried to push him
into including me in a more 'serious' aspect of his life. The first was his
niece's wedding reception. I practically ended up begging him to take me, he
absolutely refused. The excuses were all about me: You really don't want to go,
You won't know anyone, You will be bored, and my favorite, You didn't even like
your own wedding!

He did go with me to a co-workers wedding reception after that though, it must
have been less threatening because it wasn't his family.

Debra

trip406 <trip406@...> wrote: Hi There, I'm new here too.

Debra, I could've written a very similar post about the holidays this
year with respect to my (what I'm fully recognizing to be now) pa
boyfriend. He did a similar thing to me between Christmas and New
Years. He did almost the exact same thing a couple of years ago too,
there was a little more communication about it this time (not a lot)
because I recognized it coming this time. Mine agrees to spend time
with me or says what he thinks I want to hear, then doesn't call -
for days. Him and I have been doing this dance for more than 3 years
now.

Anyway. I don't have any advice really, I am new at this and
recognizing it. I would have to say though that I grew up with a pa
father and learned to deal with him, although mostly his pa behaviour
wasn't directed at me - it just took me a lot longer to
recognize it in the boyfriend. After the whole holidays of being
ignored, I got a call yesterday and have yet to talk to him. I'm
nervous of what to say, how to act and what will become of it. But
at least reading others experiences and dealings on here and other
websites, I feel a little better informed with some ideas for what I
need to do and who I need to be to protect myself and maybe, just
maybe, encourage him to help himself.

Peace.
Jane

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