Jen, thanks for the words of comfort and wisdom.

Where do you live, that Tex-Mex can brighten your
spirit? And with or without a margarita? In my case,
I usually opt for Negro Modelo, just about the darkest
tastiest beer I can find.

It just seemed an especial bummer yesterday, because
beautiful cool weather used to make my day. I really
thought something different had interfered with my
psyche, but no.

I think I really just felt 'guilty' that I'm not
active like I used to be. Part of it of course is
the MS, because I'm tired so much of the time.

But I really never was depressed about that diagnosis
so, sitting in bed with tears running down my face,
for no apparent reason, just seemed strange.

Like most of us, the holidays can be depressing. I
just hope this was a one-shot happenstance, because I
don't want to spend the next month having crying jags.

PS.. I talked to my husband again, about maybe writing
letters to my sister and my mother, since it's been
almost a year since their estrangement from me, and
telling them in no uncertain terms what I think of
them.

Except we agreed it might not do any harm, especially
since I can't mail Mom's letter anyway. But we're
99% certain that it wouldn't do any good either.

That's just my wishful thinking, rearing up again,
hoping that my sister doesn't know what she did to me,
lying about my stealing thousands of dollars and
alienating my parents against me.

Which is silly beyond belief. Mom was brain-damaged
from her major head trauma, and suffered from mental
illness all her life, so it really isn't surprising
she fell for my sister's lies.

But my sister has no excuse, nor does her 30-year-old
daughter (except she's a sociopath). They both knew,
the second they told the lies, what they were doing.
And they did it gladly, proudly, with a great deal of
satisfaction.

So why bother with the letters? Except I think it
would be a great help to me, finally telling the
culprits what I think of them, the horrible destiny
that I hope for them.

I'm just going to give it more thought, probably not
even start a letter until after the holidays, in
case it gets me upset when I should be enjoying the
season.

But once I start with a psychiatrist in January, I'll
bet he suggests exactly such a move on my part. At
which point, katie bar the door, because I'll let
them have it with both barrels. I just won't mail
the letters.

Again, thanks for listening, and for the responses.
Later.