hi
tough story. pa behavior is awful and does make you nuts. i suggest two
things:
get some books (amazon has them cheap) and read about passive aggression so
you know what it is, how to spot and most importantly, how to deal with it, and
#2 get some therapy. if you don't work, get a job and get some $ of your own.
don't be a victim anymore.
saying a prayer for you
jen

ask me <rebelrose6103@...> wrote:
I have been married 24 , ( together 27 yr ) to this pa, while never
even knowing what it was, thinkin it was me, as he lead me and our 3
children to believe Mom was the crazy one... The Bit**, The
Overbearing one....The Nag... he was never there to hug them when
they needed it, with an encouraging word, word of wisdom,, or to
gently correct them when they needed it.. was he there to attend
one thing, just ONE even with his son growing up? was he there to
say happy birthday,,, was he there to cut the turkey at
thanksgiving,, or decorate the tree at christmas,,, WELL, ......his
body was... but he was gone just the same, never spoke a word of
kindness, everything was a chore, halfhazardly done,

Once he lit himself " his sleeve" on fire in the backyard
because he would have rather been neglecting his chores just as much
as his family & used charcoal lighter to start of pile of rubbish
(we live in the contry). and just stood there , looking up at me ,
like , so what are YOU gonna do about it ???

I need to backup,,, what should have been my first sign "
here's your sign ! " foxworthy ! was when my husbands exwife
walked out in front of a truck one night,, because she was on
crack... and had been served her second set of divorce
papers....died instantly,, my step daughter was 11,, so guess who
had to tell this young lady her mother passed... It surely wasnt
dad. Dad never made this child mind, now she is a 30 yr old ex-
exotic dancer with no skills and hep C,,, I of course was never to
connect with her because I was always the Heavy,,, diciplinarian,,,
( didnt help I was only 14 yrs older than her.

moving on,,, 21 sum yrs later,,, we have a daughter 22 soon who is
an unwed mother and no hopes of even wanting to look for a job,
living off the father,,, guess I taught her ....

another duaghter ( she will be 19 soon ) who has taken an extra 2
yrs in highschool because of looser boyfriends who used her and her
hard earned waittressing monies to get out of his parents house,
split up with him only to go after his " soon to be divorced cousin
with a 6 yr old son (history repeating)

Now we can move on to the Golden Boy who does no wrong in daddies
eyes, even though he has : He is 17 yrs old and immature for his
age or ( I guess I never hung around that many )

done $3000. in damages to our home.

disrespected mom ever since dad taught him to from day one.

took a garden trellis to the windsheild of our new car

got suspended on several occasions for stupid stuff just to get dads
attention, not cutting hair, earrings, tonguerings, self inflicted
of course,

who is working full time & flunking out of school at the same
time,,, so what does dad do ?

against my judgement ( but I didnt stop him ) if I did, I would be a
bitc* ,,, He withdraw 2700.00 from savings, buys son a car this past
friday the 13th, of Jan.... Son has accident on the 23rd of Jan,
totals the cars,,, ( wasnt charged with accident, someone did pull
out in front of him ) but because of insurance , son is down 1000,
in paying us back for car, which was agreed upon before, tg, he is
stickin to it,, Guess Mom did teach him somethings......

We own no credit card bills, have never used one...I have run the
finances,,, he did let me do that,,,, I can give credit where it is
due... but to take a good chunck of what we manage to save against
my better judgement ,,, ie , the boys attitude, and grades...I
predicted every event that would happen,, accident, sons loss of
interest in school because he is in the hole 1000. thanks to Dad
wanting to feel BIG for a moment in his sons eyes.....

our son has gotten that "lets see how many girls I can love & leave
mentality",,, I know I cant blame all that on his dad.... being as I
dont see that dad is even interested in sex.... at least not with
me !!!! yeah.... but I do know what he seen from what his father
doesnt do ..........this man has been cold to all of us...and here I
thought I was the reason...

I can honestly say the only thing he has done constantly is provide
a roof over our heads where he has managed to avoid all contact or
communications unless it suited his needs in some way... Its hunting
season.... wheres my ???? have you seen my ????

whats funny is ,,, history repeating itself... never understood why
my father who was wealthy enough to do so, never finished ( putting
plumbing in , a second bathroom addition he built on our house while
we were growing up... added on just for mom & dad,,, we had 7 kids
in the family ( 2 sets of twins ) and a grandmother living with
us...

I know why now,,, it didnt matter to him, he was gone to work
before anyone else woke up,,, so he had a bathroom all to
emself.... god forbid he give our mother what she deserved ,,,
ever.... I did notice that,, I also noticed she never got the "car
of her dreams till it was too late for her to even drive it,,, lung
cancer had eaten at her for so long........... Whats that about ?





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