Maybe this is not a passive aggressive issue. Maybe this is about her
addiction problem to nicotine.
Why is addiction to a chemical substance considered passive aggressive
behaviour. Are you saying that
people who smoke and who are grossly obese are passive aggressive? You can't
be serious!

----- Original Message -----
From: "Jennifer Mustoe" <authoreditor_jenniferleigh@...>
To: <passiveaggressivesupport@yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2006 8:19 AM
Subject: Re: [Passive Aggressive Support] surrounded by denial and excuses


> Let's see-- it's about me because I don't want to lose my mother, my son's
> grandmother. It's about my grief. I appreciate your info about her other
> health conditions. If you're on this list, you are here for support about
> addictions/behaviors concerning passive aggression. I came because I'm
> hurting over my mother's addiction, that is killing her. Is that so hard
> to understand? Passive aggression is a 'choice' in that it is behaviors
> that are ingrained, but still chosen. Though smoking is addictive, it's
> still a choice, and every cigarette she smokes takes her that much closer
> to death. And the lungs are remarkably capable of regeneration, so if she
> quit now, she'd have a longer, healthier life. And I'm frustrated she
> isn't choosing that. That in and of itself seems pretty passive
> aggressive, if you look at it a certain way.
> Jen
>
> JS <jamst@...> wrote:
> Anurisms are not caused by smoking. It is a genetic defect in the
> elasticity
> of an artery. Smoking is very addictive and it is extremely difficult to
> quit. Perhaps
> *she *should consult her physician about some of the very useful and
> successful "quit-smoking" products available. She will quit when *she* is
> ready and when *she* decides to take the steps. And if she doesn't that is
> *her* choice isn't it? Why are you making this about you?
>
> This turn of events (surgery) is necessary to repair her artery. Yes
> quitting smoking would help, but it might not happen so be prepared to
> live
> and respect her decision.
>
> J
>
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jennifer Mustoe" <authoreditor_jenniferleigh@...>
> To: "Jen Leigh" <authoreditor_jenniferleigh@...>
> Sent: Tuesday, October 03, 2006 11:57 PM
> Subject: [Passive Aggressive Support] surrounded by denial and excuses
>
>> My mother, who turned 77 on Sept 30, was told that she needs to go on
>> medication for high blood pressure and high cholesterol, and then was
>> told
>> she needs to get an operation to help with her anurism (sp) which is near
>> her heart. My mother is horrified, saying she can't believe she has to
>> have meds and now an operation! She's always been so healthy!
>> Need I say, she's been smoking 2 pks a day since she was 12? She is
>> grossly overweight?
>> And my brother, who hasn't worked an honest day's work in his life lives
>> with her, debilitated with his hepatitis he got as a heroin user. He was
>> denied social security and my mother is upset about this too (which of
>> course means she smokes even more.)
>> I am angry. Did she really think she could smoke like a chimney and it
>> would never catch up with her? She is wanting to move up here to live
>> near me, and 'then' plans on quitting smoking. Does she think it'll be
>> easier up here?
>> I want to write her a letter, because I can't seem to come up with the
>> words over the phone (we talk several times a day) YOU ARE KILLING
>> YOURSELF. WHEN DO YOU SUPPOSE IT'D BE A GOOD TIME TO QUIT?
>> We are praying she'll quit, I plan on calling my brother and telling him
>> it's about time he do something for her for a change and stop smoking, or
>> she'll never quit.
>> My mother will die someday, we all will. But it seems remarkable that
>> she is sooooo upset about this turn of events, when she knows how bad
>> smoking is.
>> Oh, I'm just upset.
>> Any advice?
>> I do plan on calling her doctor and asking her point blank: what have you
>> told my mother about smoking? For what my mother pays for in cigarettes,
>> she could get enough bliss out drugs to keep the cravings at bay for
>> months, with the patch, gum, and a load of Xanax!
>> Jen
>>
>>
>> http://authorjenniferleigh.tripod.com
>> http://editing-for-you.tripod.com
>> http://cjfoundationqh.tripod.com
>> http://jenniferleacmustoe.tripod.com
>>
>>
>>
>>
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>>
>>
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