Hey Jen,

So sorry you are having your plate overloaded right now. It is about
YOU. YOU are the one being called on for help by your Mother....sounds
like Mom needs to drag her son/your bro. into being more of her
support group since he lives with her. Is this a possibility?

BTW, is hb being supportive of you in this new twist?

I feel/pray for you.....my family put the fun in DisFUNctional...





--- In passiveaggressivesupport@yahoogroups.com, Jennifer Mustoe
<authoreditor_jenniferleigh@...> wrote:
>
> Let's see-- it's about me because I don't want to lose my mother, my
son's grandmother. It's about my grief. I appreciate your info about
her other health conditions. If you're on this list, you are here for
support about addictions/behaviors concerning passive aggression. I
came because I'm hurting over my mother's addiction, that is killing
her. Is that so hard to understand? Passive aggression is a 'choice'
in that it is behaviors that are ingrained, but still chosen. Though
smoking is addictive, it's still a choice, and every cigarette she
smokes takes her that much closer to death. And the lungs are
remarkably capable of regeneration, so if she quit now, she'd have a
longer, healthier life. And I'm frustrated she isn't choosing that.
That in and of itself seems pretty passive aggressive, if you look at
it a certain way.
> Jen
>
> JS <jamst@...> wrote:
> Anurisms are not caused by smoking. It is a genetic defect
in the elasticity
> of an artery. Smoking is very addictive and it is extremely
difficult to
> quit. Perhaps
> *she *should consult her physician about some of the very useful and
> successful "quit-smoking" products available. She will quit when
*she* is
> ready and when *she* decides to take the steps. And if she doesn't
that is
> *her* choice isn't it? Why are you making this about you?
>
> This turn of events (surgery) is necessary to repair her artery. Yes
> quitting smoking would help, but it might not happen so be prepared
to live
> and respect her decision.
>
> J
>



> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "Jennifer Mustoe" <authoreditor_jenniferleigh@...>
> To: "Jen Leigh" <authoreditor_jenniferleigh@...>
> Sent: Tuesday, October 03, 2006 11:57 PM
> Subject: [Passive Aggressive Support] surrounded by denial and excuses
>
> > My mother, who turned 77 on Sept 30, was told that she needs to go on
> > medication for high blood pressure and high cholesterol, and then
was told
> > she needs to get an operation to help with her anurism (sp) which
is near
> > her heart. My mother is horrified, saying she can't believe she
has to
> > have meds and now an operation! She's always been so healthy!
> > Need I say, she's been smoking 2 pks a day since she was 12? She is
> > grossly overweight?
> > And my brother, who hasn't worked an honest day's work in his life
lives
> > with her, debilitated with his hepatitis he got as a heroin user.
He was
> > denied social security and my mother is upset about this too
(which of
> > course means she smokes even more.)
> > I am angry. Did she really think she could smoke like a chimney
and it
> > would never catch up with her? She is wanting to move up here to live
> > near me, and 'then' plans on quitting smoking. Does she think
it'll be
> > easier up here?
> > I want to write her a letter, because I can't seem to come up with
the
> > words over the phone (we talk several times a day) YOU ARE KILLING
> > YOURSELF. WHEN DO YOU SUPPOSE IT'D BE A GOOD TIME TO QUIT?
> > We are praying she'll quit, I plan on calling my brother and
telling him
> > it's about time he do something for her for a change and stop
smoking, or
> > she'll never quit.
> > My mother will die someday, we all will. But it seems remarkable that
> > she is sooooo upset about this turn of events, when she knows how bad
> > smoking is.
> > Oh, I'm just upset.
> > Any advice?
> > I do plan on calling her doctor and asking her point blank: what
have you
> > told my mother about smoking? For what my mother pays for in
cigarettes,
> > she could get enough bliss out drugs to keep the cravings at bay for
> > months, with the patch, gum, and a load of Xanax!
> > Jen
> >
> >
> > http://authorjenniferleigh.tripod.com
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> > http://jenniferleacmustoe.tripod.com
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
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