My hb rarely finishes anything. He is now in the middle of getting ready for
hunting, is depressed because he doesn't have enough time, money, etc. but i
hear this every year and this is just his repertoire. his truck has stuff in it
from last year's hunt, and his truck is literally full of junk. he complains
about it, but i just say, i'm sorry for you.
when our hb's affect our own life, though, i think we need to do something.
say: in two weeks, I'm cleaning off the dining room table. if he gets mad, he
gets mad. too bad. that is the worst of it, though. we impose our 'rules' and
they use force, anger, and domination to keep us in line. i don't tolerate that
anymore.
jen

faolan4me <faolan4me@...> wrote:

I guess it must be a pattern with THEM! A year and a half ago I asked
my hb to clean his junk, paperwork, unopened mail off our dining room
table. Now mind you, this is a big glass table seats 8, and I've not
seen the top of the whole table for 2 years now! I't all the over flow
from HIS office, you can't even walk in that room now. But, all I ever
get is I'm working on it. He won't let me touch anything on the table
cause I'll mess it up...geeze it's a damn mess piled over a foot high
already!!!

Does it ever get any better? It's like I live with a messy room mate
who never talk to me.

--- In passiveaggressivesupport@yahoogroups.com, Lisa Landerdahl
<smartcookie326@...> wrote:
>
> Welcome to the group. I hope you find as much support and insight
from this group as I have...when you think you're the only one who
deals with this nonsense, you DO start to feel like you must be nuts.
It's such a relief to find out that you're NOT the only one, and that
you're probably not crazy.
>
> I think the tendency to say you're working on things but not really
working on them is a PA trait. PAs seem to survive by telling you
whatever they have to to keep you off balance and off their case, even
if there's little or no truth in it.
>
> My hb is usually "working on" things, which means they probably
won't get done, but he's off the hook if I decide to step in and
actually DO whatever it was that he was working on. He's usually
working on cleaning the house, paying the bills, and finding a new
therapist. That last one has been ongoing since March...since then
he's made a couple of phone calls and had one appointment with a
pastor from church. I've come to the conclusion that him moving at his
glacier speed is NOT better than him doing nothing...it's at least the
same, if not worse, and I'm fed up with it. (I've moved past the
denial and anger stages, somewhere between not caring and moving on.)
>
> Taking out the garbage is a big thing at our house. We rent a
duplex, and the landlord gets very upset if we have bags of garbage on
the deck. He expects that our week's worth of garbage should fit in
the 2-3 covered garbage cans that fit neatly along the back of the
house. Which they would, IF the garbage made it to the curb every week.
>
> But every week it's the same thing. Garbage day is Thursday.
Wednesday night I come home from work and remind hb that tomorrow's
garbage day. His response is usually, "Yeah, I'll take care of it."
Bedtime rolls around and I remind him again. "Oh, I'll take care of it
in the morning." Of course, in the morning, he doesn't have time or
they pick up the garbage before he can get it out there. On the rare
occaisions that he does get going early enough, he nearly always
enlists my help in dragging it out, even though I've often said that
I'd much prefer to help him with it Wednesday night...but he never
wants help then, only in the morning. So we're usually left with bags
on the deck and/or in the kitchen. Lovely.
>
> Of course, I could just do it myself...which I do sometimes. Then he
says, "I was GOING to do it..." like he should still get credit for it.
>
> It's just another of an ever-growing list of things that drive me
nuts. In the end, it will probably come down to me divorcing him over
this whole assortment of petty issues...yep, that's right...I'm going
to kick his butt out because he won't take out the garbage, or because
he drinks all the pop, or because he watches TV all the time. At least
that's what it looks like on the surface...but really it's a much
deeper issue. He refuses to treat me with consideration and respect,
and I'm tired of it.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>






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