Welcome to the group. I hope you find as much support and insight from this
group as I have...when you think you're the only one who deals with this
nonsense, you DO start to feel like you must be nuts. It's such a relief to find
out that you're NOT the only one, and that you're probably not crazy.

I think the tendency to say you're working on things but not really working on
them is a PA trait. PAs seem to survive by telling you whatever they have to to
keep you off balance and off their case, even if there's little or no truth in
it.

My hb is usually "working on" things, which means they probably won't get done,
but he's off the hook if I decide to step in and actually DO whatever it was
that he was working on. He's usually working on cleaning the house, paying the
bills, and finding a new therapist. That last one has been ongoing since
March...since then he's made a couple of phone calls and had one appointment
with a pastor from church. I've come to the conclusion that him moving at his
glacier speed is NOT better than him doing nothing...it's at least the same, if
not worse, and I'm fed up with it. (I've moved past the denial and anger stages,
somewhere between not caring and moving on.)

Taking out the garbage is a big thing at our house. We rent a duplex, and the
landlord gets very upset if we have bags of garbage on the deck. He expects that
our week's worth of garbage should fit in the 2-3 covered garbage cans that fit
neatly along the back of the house. Which they would, IF the garbage made it to
the curb every week.

But every week it's the same thing. Garbage day is Thursday. Wednesday night I
come home from work and remind hb that tomorrow's garbage day. His response is
usually, "Yeah, I'll take care of it." Bedtime rolls around and I remind him
again. "Oh, I'll take care of it in the morning." Of course, in the morning, he
doesn't have time or they pick up the garbage before he can get it out there. On
the rare occaisions that he does get going early enough, he nearly always
enlists my help in dragging it out, even though I've often said that I'd much
prefer to help him with it Wednesday night...but he never wants help then, only
in the morning. So we're usually left with bags on the deck and/or in the
kitchen. Lovely.

Of course, I could just do it myself...which I do sometimes. Then he says, "I
was GOING to do it..." like he should still get credit for it.

It's just another of an ever-growing list of things that drive me nuts. In the
end, it will probably come down to me divorcing him over this whole assortment
of petty issues...yep, that's right...I'm going to kick his butt out because he
won't take out the garbage, or because he drinks all the pop, or because he
watches TV all the time. At least that's what it looks like on the surface...but
really it's a much deeper issue. He refuses to treat me with consideration and
respect, and I'm tired of it.

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