I have suffered from chronic pain for over 20 years due to a spinal trauma and multiple fusions and surgeries throughout.  Anyway, I just got home from my pain managmenet doctor and somehow I felt as though I should have been handed a lolipop when I left.

As usual he asked how I was feeling, only half listening, because my condition rarely changes and never for the better or maybe because he's just bored.  We got to the part of the appointment were he needs to write prescriptions.  Now the questions start.  And the tone of his voice changes to that tone that's reserved for fathers and authority figures.  "So, how are we doing with the medication?"  "Are there any concerns we should be aware of?' and  "Do you think it's time we started tapering you off the medication?"  First of all I wasn't aware that "we" were in this together and second I resent that his concern lies more in his fear of my doing something stupid with my medication than with my pain.   I realize there are those that abuse their medication, however he knows my condition, he's seen my xrays and  must know I am in extreme pain the majority of the time.  After I assured him I was being a "good girl"  (I even degraded myself and used that term) he wrote my refills.  I don't feel embarrassed or bad for taking my medication normally but when I leave the doctors office I feel like a scolded child .

When I left his office I went to the pharmacy and went through the whole thing again.  "Do you know how strong this is?"  "We'll need to call the doctor to verify that he wrote this".   "You really should try to get off this stuff".  You'd think these people knew me the way they judged me instantly.  I really wonder sometimes how those who hurt more than me handle it. 

Anyway, I never did get that lolipop!!

Kymm Cummins  klcglc10@...