I am very much affected by it also. My marriage is suffering badly
because of it. Also my in-laws do not make matters any better. They
have my husband's back which makes me feel more alienated because I do
not have parents. Tonight I was angry at my husband for something, and
instead of seeing my point of view, my in-laws yelled at me and made
me feel terrible. I had to go out the whole night - I had to run away.
It makes me feel not wanted like my parents who abandoned me. It's not
like I can call my parents and ask for help or advice, so I had to sit
there and figure out the best way to preserve my dignity and smoothe
things over. I came to the realization that my mother in law is not my
mother and can never be, I had to understand that to her I am only a
wife to her son and a mother to her grandson and she judges my actions
as such. She has no emotional bond more than that. So finally I had an
ah-ha moment : she expects me to treat her son (my husband) with the
common decency of refraining my anger no matter what the situation. I
walked back in and said " Sorry I became angry at your son in front of
you. " I have been crying all night. I felt alone in the world before.
Now I really really feel alone. I feel like I don't even know what I
am doing here on earth anymore. Not a depressed person, just feeling
so completely disconnected from any people, especially family. And
family is the most important thing in the world when kids are involved.

Hum bug,
very sad tonight,

--- In orphanedchildren@yahoogroups.com, "allenwrinwick"
<allenwrinwick@...> wrote:
>
> --- In orphanedchildren@yahoogroups.com, yaegerj <no_reply@> wrote:
> >
> > We would like this group to be open to all persons who can relate to
> > being orphaned, abused and neglected as children. Furthermore, we
> want
> > people to feel comfortable in sharing as well, so please refrain from
> > the inappropriate language.
> >
> I am new to this site and know nothing about how it is run and such,
> yet I relate all too well to the issues posted here. My entire life has
> been affected by it. As of late, it has been getting the best of me. In
> particular my interpersonal relationships suffer greatly as a direct
> result of it. The waiting for the other shoe to drop kind of
> thing...abandonment being my greatest fear. So much more comes trailing
> not far behind. I am looking forward to communicating with others here
> who can relate to my issues. A friend told me of sites like this, I
> never knew they existed. I am grateful you are here. Sincerely,
> Wrinwick.
>