I fell in love with a man 8 years ago who was diagnosed with HD 6 years before
we "met". I was head over heels the first time we spoke on the phone! Everything
was great; he moved in with me and my 3 daughters about 2 months later.The
first few months were fine, but he stayed somewhat distant from my girls (he has
one of his own, the youngest). About 6 months into it, we got into a big fight
and he got violent with me for the first time.None of the kids were home and I
was astonished! He swore the next day that it would never happen again. Well,it
did, and did time and time again. It usually only got to the physical point when
we had gone out, and were drinking. My children saw it many times and just
couldn't take it anymore! They could never understand why I stayed.. Half the
time, neither could I! My children moved away from home a year ago; my twins
were 18 and my youngest, 14. The twins moved in with friends,my baby moved to
Florida to stay with her dad, who moved there 5 years prior. My,now 15 year old,
has refused to move back home until my boyfriend moved out and we were
officially 'over'.Well,he did move out June 1st.He went to jail for a month and
then stayed with his mom until he got an apartment August 3rd. We got into a
fight that night and he threatened to kill me. I was scared so called the cops.
Anyways, I still love my boyfriend! I still want to be with him and I want to be
there for him when he needs me the most! BUT, I have to be there for my
daughters also! I often wonder if he behaves violently just because that's his
nature, or if it's only because of the disease! My parents didn't talk to me for
over a year because I was going to leave, and then backed out and
couldn't...When he went to jail, my parents began talking to me again. And now,
since he has his own place,they still are, yet told me that if he wasn't
completely out of my life, they would never speak to me again! I would be
completely out of their lives forever! My boyfriend has this amazingly sweet and
adorable side! That's what I have always tried to hold onto through everything!
That's why I continue to forgive him, because I blame all of the bad on the
disease! But I don't know either because he has been the first one, in many
cases, to blame his actions on having the disease. Has anyone else dealt with
this?! My boyfriend's ex-wife told me that he has always been violent, and was
always the same with her too! I just don't know what to believe! I've read the
books, newsletters, etc... I just need a real person to talk to! Some advise
from anyone that has possibly been in my shoes! I would appreciate it so
much!!!!