Just wondered how everyone is doing with their fight to overcome OCD?

So . . . how's it going - let us all know and let's get this board a
bit more active again!

Michael

I dunno what is happening to me i am feeling so down right now .. u can easily
see me putting one of my hand on my head and the other hand typing to you. i am
so tired not because i want to sleep ..Nope, its cuz of thinking  of many things
and because of my younger  brother i really hate him cuz he is so hard on me.. i
think he knew something about me ( homosex), but he is not telling me !! 
anyway, i can easily feel the pain and suffer at home .. i wish i can travel
somewhere for ever or someone who can take care of me cuz i am really tired from
these many struggle situations . OR i wish i die dying is something great i can
easily get rest from people around me and "espically" my family & my younger
brother.

Also, i am afraid from pictures and someone to photography me  ( Video or Camera
).. but today i took pic by my ownself and i am afraid right now too if someone
can see them i want to hide them in a place no one can see them i want to delete
them maybe i am thinking alot its an obsessively way . i am sometime dealing
with it, like at university in the Computer Lab they put camera to view people (
understand) are u still with me ???? please continue reading my letter with me,
i am really suffering i wish someone to support me Psychologically,
mentally..like i said ; cameras (s) is something sensitive up till now for me ..
its making my head hurts ( pain ) , but i can't avoid camera (s) i think camera
is everywhere even at the supermarket.. but i am suffering.... ANY SOLUTION
??????? QUICK ONE

Next Week, i am going on a picnic on Sunday, April 11, 2004  & i am totally
worried becuase of the camers . i have cramp neck when someone take photo for me
& also with headache and heart pumps.

Moreover, my work is going to be in the hotels cuz i am now studying "Hotel
Management" i like this major, but i am worry of the stress that will happen at
the hotels u know travelers , lodging , crowd people and noisy especially in the
Banquets.. what if i am anxious or understress time .. how can i deal with it or
if i am working, but i am also thinking of the camera or spy camera around me
?!! Critically, really critical and its going to be more pain for me next
semester when i am going to start training at the hotels. I know someone can
help me, but i don't know whom !!!

i am drinking tea now maybe i relax a little ........

I can't relax i can't stop thinking >> i am out of control ..

maybe i have a bad luck .>> maybe i don't have to live a better life...

thanks for listening................ please help me

Truely yours,

Ryan 24








    From the Middle Eastern
    Lebanon - Beirut City


---------------------------------
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Bipolar Disorder is a disabling and recurrent psychological disorder that
affects about 1 percent of adult Americans, over 2 million, and is characterized
by extremes of mood. This illness was formerly called "Manic-depression."

Many readers will remember "Manic Depression" as a song by Jimi Hendrix. "Manic
Depression has captured my soul," Jimi sings over his psychedelic guitar-playing
track. As a psychologist I wish that Jimi had consulted me when he was writing
the song. I would have told him…, well, read on.

Bipolar Disorder is characterized primarily by an inability to regulate mood
states and a tendency to experience extremes of both depression and mania. There
are variations, for example, some people have less mania, but experience
excessive irritability. These people can shift unexpectedly and stay in high or
low gear for protracted and disabling periods of time. The diagnosis is given
most often to people between the ages of 15 and 30 years.

This is a life-threatening illness, with as many as one in 5 victims committing
suicide and is complicated by the fact that many Bipolar individuals are not yet
in treatment. Bipolar disorder seems to come in different forms for males and
females, with the males often presenting first with mania, but women seeking
treatment for the depressed pole first.

Besides that, Bipolar Disorder may come in different phases, with some people
having more classic mania, followed by either normal or depressed states and
others having their polarity shift from depression to more normal states. More
severe variations include rapid and mixed states with the mood instability
shifting quickly or having simultaneous symptoms of mania and depression. In
other words, this condition is serious and needs the care of an astute and
attentive clinician.

The word "mania" is derived from one of the Greek root words for "mind" and in
particular seems to reference back to one of the nymphs who attended the
Dionysian rituals of those ancient Greek times — from this we get the sense of
maniac as one who acts like a madman.

So, the original maniac was quite a party animal?

Speaking of partying, everybody knows what it's like to feel really good or even
"high" at times — in psychological terms, this is called "euthymia." When you
feel high or energized for a protracted period of time, this is called
"hypomania" — which is a milder form of mania. When the high starts to keep you
up through the night or is associated with energy that has no off switch, then
it's called mania, or a manic episode.

In manic episodes a person may engage in excessive and risky behavior. An
otherwise well behaved person may become sexually promiscuous, go on spending
sprees, gamble, clean the house all day or all night, or make very ill advised
investments. Other typical symptoms of mania include racing thoughts, talking
excessively fast, distractibility, or inflated feelings of importance. In more
severe manic states, actual psychosis can take place, with hallucinations or
delusions. Bipolar delusions typically follow the mood: in the manic state,
themes like grandeur and excess are common; in the depressed state themes of
worthlessness or emptiness rule.


Bipolar Disorder is presently a life-long condition. We know that there's a
genetic link because relatives of family members are more prone to developing
it, but it's clear that some other factors have to trigger the onset of the
first episodes. Once manic episodes begun, they become recurrent and the primary
goals for treatment are to reduce the number of episodes and to shorten the
length and severity of episodes.

We do that by combining medication and psychosocial therapies. Lithium, which is
actually an elemental salt, was discovered to have anti-manic properties. This
was actually figured out by a veterinarian. This is a medicine that has to be
dosed and monitored carefully by a psychiatrist. In recent years a number of
additional anti-manic medications have been developed, many of which were first
used to treat seizures. Some researchers are hypothesizing that there may be an
explanation why anti-seizure drugs regulate manic states: this seems to lie in
the basic physiology of the way that the brain controls its own levels of
activation.

It's very important that people with mania or some of the symptoms that we've
mentioned receive a medical work up and that those with Bipolar Disorder get
into treatment and stay in treatment as needed. Psychotherapy and Family-based
therapy approaches can be vital, providing an understanding of the condition and
for teaching what we know about controlling these internal states. Sleep and
activity regulation, stress management, and other strategies can help a lot to
reassert control when things start to take off. Everyone should help with
treatment compliance and early detection of the need for medication changes to
deal with potential relapses.

This is one of the serious brain-based mental disorders with serious
complications, including a lot of substance abuse, some of which is no doubt an
attempt to re-regulate from the lows to the highs. Bipolar people need our
support and our compassion. When they're back in control, they're pretty much
like you and me.



Licensed psychologist Allan J. Comeau, Ph.D., is on the clinical faculty at UCLA
and a former president of the Inland Southern California Psychological
Association. Write to him at 2001 S. Barrington Avenue, Suite 304, West Los
Angeles, CA 90025.


V. thank you Dr. Comeau,
Sincerely yours,
Ryan



    From the Middle Eastern
    Lebanon - Beirut City


---------------------------------
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Surveys supported by the N.I.M.H. show that up to 3 percent of younger children
and up to 8 percent of adolescents suffer from depression. Parents need to
remember: life's normal ups and downs include moments of sadness as well as
those of excitement and bliss. Childhood and adolescent depressions often look
like adult ones, with sadness, tearfulness, hopelessness, lack of enjoyment,
withdrawal and so on. With younger people, though, other signs of depression may
be less obvious. For example, depressed kids may complain of boredom, refuse to
go to school, give vague complaints of physical distress, throw tantrums, or
talk about running away. They may reveal sensitivity to rejection, and take
interest in alcohol and substance abuse. Recently, suicide was identified as the
third leading cause of death in the adolescent age group and the sixth leading
cause of death in younger kids.

Sometimes disobedience can point to depression, as opposed to a lack of
discipline or even disrespect?

Yes, parents really need to tune into the multiple levels of meaning of their
young people's behavior. Don't just react to the behavior. Figure out what he or
she is trying to communicate. If it's only willfulness, then use approaches like
behavior modification. But if it's showing up alongside some of the indicators
that I mentioned above, like isolation or emotional outbursts, then talk to
someone who knows about this stuff. Bone up on childhood mental health awareness
by reading, attending public talks and talking to the experts in your community,
such as your pediatrician or a mental health professional.

Now, let's talk about Bipolar Disorder, which is a condition of mood
disregulation and presents with a characteristic symptom, called mania. Mania
reveals itself by severe shifts in mood, often to the extremes, with deep
sadness, say, alternating with intense excitation. Bipolar Disorder is rare in
young kids, but an increasing number of adolescents are now receiving this
diagnosis. In an adolescent manic state, we might see grandiose flights of
self-esteem, like superpower stuff. He or she might stay up all-night and then
stay up all day. Other symptoms can include distractibility, unstoppable
talking, and high risk-taking behaviors like sex, drugs and reckless driving.
The mania tends to "cycle," sometimes back and forth with depression and
sometimes to a more normal state. These cycles can take days or weeks, but in
"rapid cycling" cases can flip-flop many times in the same day.



How treatable are these conditions and what can parents do?

The most important consideration is early detection and intervention. Childhood
mood disorders are treatable, but a lot of young people suffer without
treatment, risking more severe states and, of course, suicide. The treatments
include medications that reduce depression and help to better regulate mood.
Cognitive and interpersonal psychotherapies and symptom management strategies
can be effective and may be tried first, if the symptoms are not too disabling.

Parenthood is a gift as well as a responsibility that requires continuing
education. Parents who keep informed and learn new skills to keep up with their
growing kids' needs are the best equipped to face both the expected as well as
the unexpected challenges of adolescence.


Licensed psychologist Allan J. Comeau, Ph.D., is on the clinical faculty at UCLA
and a former president of the Inland Southern California Psychological
Association. Write to him at 2001 S. Barrington Avenue, Suite 304, West Los
Angeles, CA 90025.


NOTE: please tell me what is your own opinion in what you've read above? thank
you for your cooperation





    From the Middle Eastern
    Lebanon - Beirut City


---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Please do me a favor. I am a Ph.D. student and working on OCD
(www.coba.panam.edu/ojbutt) .. I have uploaded a file
(2questionnaire) on the group homepage, please fill it and send it
at osamajb@...

I assure you that i need this data only for academic research
purposes . And its all confidential, ur name will not be used any
where. Incase if u get trouble in getting the file from the group
home page, please visit:

  http://www.coba.panam.edu/ojbutt/questionnaire.doc

its a direct link to the questionnaire. You can  email me the filled
questionnaire at osamajb@...
Your help will be really appreciated.
Have a great time.
OJB

Hello Dear :) i am back to life i am still alive really i am happy now thx God (
HP ) & your support and alot of caring.. i don't ever forget you in my whole
life.. Today i am okay a little pain but its okay after operation.. sorry today
i am at university after operation break time :) good isn't it ?! ;) hehe i wish
everyone is doing great and hope to chat/ email sooner .. sorry times up class
start.. i am taking English 203  see ya..... thx again for your support...take
care..talk to u later ;)
Ryan >>..........kisses<<



    From the Middle Eastern
    Lebanon - Beirut City


---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

You are invited to participate in a study of spiritual health.  I
hope to learn more about the relationship between spirituality and
well-being. Any information obtained in connection with this study
that can be identified with you will remain confidential and will be
disclosed only with your permission. In any written reports or
publications, no one will be identified or identifiable and only
aggregate data will be presented.  The following survey will take
between 5 and 10 minutes to complete.  The information provided will
be compiled for an undergraduate research presentation.  If you would
like to receive the results, please email me at spiritualhealth2004@
yahoo.com.  Results will be available after April 25, 2004.
Thank you for your participation.
Your input is greatly appreciated.


1) Are you?   ___ Male   ___ Female

2) How old are you?   ___ 18 or younger   ___ 19-30  ___ 31-49

___ 65 or older

3) Are you a U.S. citizen?   ___ Yes   ___ No

4) People use different terms to describe their race, such
as "Black, "White," "Asian," or "Native American."  Which term(s) do
you use to describe yourself?
(You may write more than one).

Race: 1.______________ 2._______________

5) Are you Catholic?   ___ Yes   ___ No (If No, please skip to #9)

6) How many times a month do you attend mass?   ___ 0    ___ 1-2

___ 3-4    ___ 5+

7) How many times a month do you go to confession?   ___ 0 ___ 1-2

___ 3-4  ___ 5+

8) How strongly do you hold your religious beliefs?


(1 = Not strongly at all)  (5 = Very strongly)

     1-------------2--------------3--------------4--------------5


9) Has anybody in your family been diagnosed with obsessive-
compulsive disorder?

___Yes    ___ No

10) Has anybody in your family been diagnosed with schizophrenia?

___ Yes   ___ No

11) The following statements refer to experiences that people
sometimes have.  Please indicate how often you have these experiences
using the following key: 0 = never; 1 = almost never; 2 = sometimes;
3 = often; 4 = constantly

a. I worry that I might have dishonest thoughts.
b. I fear that I might be an evil person.
c. I fear I will act immorally.
d. I feel urges to confess sins over and over again.
e. I worry about heaven and hell.
f. I worry I must act morally at all times or I will be punished.
g. Feeling guilty interferes with my ability to enjoy things
         I would like to enjoy.
h. Immoral thoughts come into my head and I can't get rid
         of them.
i. I am afraid my behavior is unacceptable to God.
j. I fear I have acted inappropriately without realizing it.
k. I must try hard to avoid having certain immoral thoughts.
l. I am very worried that things I did may have been dishonest.
m. I am afraid I will disobey God's rules/laws.
n. I am afraid of having sexual thoughts.
o. I worry I will never have a good relationship with God.
p. I feel guilty about immoral thoughts I have had.
q. I worry that God is upset with me.
r. I am afraid of having immoral thoughts.
s. I am afraid my thoughts are unacceptable to God.

Thank you for completing the survey.  Let me assure you that all
information obtained will remain confidential.  Please send results
to spiritualhealth2004@....  Thanks!

I am really feeling bad in this moment and i really very afraid i know why i
mean i know the reasons cuz tomorrow i 've an operation for my Gall Bladder and
you know that i've OCD thats makes me afraid more because i might be infectioned
you all know hospitals oh my God i hate hospitals,Drs., Nurse(s) .sorry if
someone here work at hospital, but actually i can't handle it. its so obvious
now that i am at university and feel anxious right now i feel hot also .. u know
i am not feeling that i am the same person, i am b4 !! also my food will be
changing in the next days everything is going to change my style life ..

plz pray for me and i wish its not the final message to you .i will try to email
you back as soon as possible

Perfectly yours,
Ryan



    From the Middle Eastern
    Lebanon - Beirut City


---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Indeed I was disanosed with ocd a few months ago. now,  it is not my
hair-brushing as much as it is my obsesive worrying: This is why (I
dicovered that) I fear driving. couciling is not as bad as  I figured
it would be. Infact it calms my worrying....
Danni

If you are doing diet or following a food plan and you didn't show any
progress..

here some tips for you to enjoy :

Doing such things as clapping, tapping, and stickers or putting grades is very
creative and it will give a good push untill u lose the weight u have put !! 
Stickers, tapping, clapping ,etc.. is very good ideas just make u feel courage
and it helps me b4 !  Listen carefully to ur body and needs and always give
urself a short break don't make a big efforts from the first moments like if u
join many classes Yogo, stretching, biking & others .. be specific to urself and
always be hopeful.. everything in life takes place and time to change and isn't
our body should take this time to lose hundreds of pounds ?  for sure, by time,
is the answer ! Wake up to the real world and hope u will find ur right road to
freedom urself from shame and guilt that everyday with us built ! Guys pls
inform me any news and please let me hear from you soon.. i really appriacte ur
help anytime too.   kindly yours,Ryan




    From the Middle Eastern
    Lebanon - Beirut City


---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

does anyone else have checking issues with phones??
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Stephanie Lynn
   To: ocdsupportuk@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Monday, February 09, 2004 1:59 AM
   Subject: [OCD Support UK] drug combos


   Does anyone here take any other drugs in combination with an SSRI?
   If so, I would really like to hear how it has/hasn't helped you. My
   dr. has recommended several drugs to compliment an SSRI. He believes
   adding one of these drugs would make a HUGE difference. I have to
   admit that certain potential side effects have scared me away,
   though. Anyway, any feedback on the subject would be much
   appreciated. :)

   Love,
   Stephie Lynn


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Does anyone here suffer from body image obsessions at all??

Does anyone here take any other drugs in combination with an SSRI?
If so, I would really like to hear how it has/hasn't helped you. My
dr. has recommended several drugs to compliment an SSRI. He believes
adding one of these drugs would make a HUGE difference. I have to
admit that certain potential side effects have scared me away,
though. Anyway, any feedback on the subject would be much
appreciated. :)

Love,
Stephie Lynn

Anyone heard from Willow_lea?

If you're out there, please get in touch, I'm a bit concerned about
your silence.

Claire

Yes I think this time of year can be difficult for those of us with
mental disorders. Not only the dark and gloomy weather and lack of
light, but also the anti climax from xmas etc.

I also find the thought of having to get myself through another whole
year, can make me quite anxious.

Fortunatley my bad spell seems to be lifting. I thought my
obsessions / compulsions were going to grab hold of me again. But I
managed to take the step and ask for help from my family and I now
seem to have trampled on the little gremlin.

I call it my gremlin as I consider my OCD as something that sits
alongside me, almost like a parasite.

Not sure if anyone can relate to that?

Anyways, keep posting. It is good to know we are all in this
together.

Claire

--- In ocdsupportuk@yahoogroups.com, Denise Woolstencroft
<denise_wool@y...> wrote:
> Hiya
> Been going through a bad patch myself recently as well - perhaps
it's that time of year !!
> I have tried to get online a few months ago but seemed to be no one
there etc !!!  But computer no longer working so have to resort to
library !!
> Take care ... Denise x
>
> Claire Bailey <CAB@s...> wrote:
> Thanks Andrew,
>
> Good to know somebody's out there. I've been through a bit of a bad
patch the last couple of day and needed a chat with people who
understood.
>
> Feeling better now though. How are you?
>
>
> --- andrew lockstone <andrew@l...> wrote:
>
>
> _____________________________________________________________
> Sign up for a 6mb FREE email from
> http://www.spl.at
> Join the buzz, chat with us!
> http://chat.spl.at
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups SponsorADVERTISEMENT
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>    To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportuk/
>
>    To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> ocdsupportuk-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
>    Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> BT Yahoo! Broadband - Free modem offer, sign up online today and
save £80
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Hi everyone.
Totally new to all of this so I thought that I should introduce
myself. I'm 20, and have only really noticed my obsessiveness over
the past couple of years, although thinking back it could have been
there for years.

I suppose you could say I'm in the closet, in that only one or two
people know I suffer - and I'm yet to strike up the courage to see
my GP.

Anyway, hope to speak to you and get to know some or all of you soon.


chris

ok thanks just got home, nice to know others have ocd problems, would be nice to
chat
   ----- Original Message -----
   From: Claire Bailey
   To: ocdsupportuk@yahoogroups.com
   Sent: Saturday, January 31, 2004 11:30 AM
   Subject: Re: [OCD Support UK], would be nice to chat online chat session????


   Thanks Andrew,

   Good to know somebody's out there. I've been through a bit of a bad patch the
last couple of day and needed a chat with people who understood.

   Feeling better now though. How are you?


   --- andrew lockstone <andrew@...> wrote:


   _____________________________________________________________
   Sign up for a 6mb FREE email from
   http://www.spl.at
   Join the buzz, chat with us!
   http://chat.spl.at


   [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]


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     c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Thanks Andrew,

Good to know somebody's out there. I've been through a bit of a bad patch the
last couple of day and needed a chat with people who understood.

Feeling better now though. How are you?


--- andrew lockstone <andrew@...> wrote:


_____________________________________________________________
Sign up for a 6mb FREE email from
http://www.spl.at
Join the buzz, chat with us!
http://chat.spl.at


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

well u can email me and will reply when i can



========================================
Message date : Jan 29 2004, 10:32 PM
From : "flossylu2003"
To : ocdsupportuk@yahoogroups.com
Copy to :
Subject : [OCD Support UK] online chat session????
Am I imagining these reminders, or do they actually exist?
If so does anyone use the chat forum and how can I join in?




Yahoo! Groups Links

To visit your group on the web, go to:
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To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
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Freeserve AnyTime - HALF PRICE for the first 3 months - Save £7.50 a month
www.freeserve.com/anytime

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

hi there who are you???


========================================
Message date : Jan 29 2004, 10:32 PM
From : "flossylu2003"
To : ocdsupportuk@yahoogroups.com
Copy to :
Subject : [OCD Support UK] online chat session????
Am I imagining these reminders, or do they actually exist?
If so does anyone use the chat forum and how can I join in?




Yahoo! Groups Links

To visit your group on the web, go to:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ocdsupportuk/

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
ocdsupportuk-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
Freeserve AnyTime - HALF PRICE for the first 3 months - Save £7.50 a month
www.freeserve.com/anytime

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Am I imagining these reminders, or do they actually exist?
If so does anyone use the chat forum and how can I join in?

hi flossie

thank you for replying, i was beginning to get worried
thinking everyone thought me weird as no one had
replied!!! so thank you!!
Ive only just admitted this to my psychiatrist and
although i don't know what his opinion of me is do
understand what you mean about other peoples
reactions.  I am lucky in that my close friends are
really supportive and although they do not truly
understand they are not as condescending as my family
would be ( if i ever did tell my family, which i don't
intend to as i know their reaction would be negative.)
It is hard when others think you can just snap put of
it, I know that from experience, when i feel obsessive
about someone, the feelings die down after a few years
but i still find that occasionally i might be on the
Internet and feel this compulsion to search engine
that person. Its like you have to know as much as you
can about that person in order to feel safe. I
described it to my psych as being like a filing
cabinet in my head and even though i know it is
totally illogical i cant stop wanting to pursue as
much knowledge of the person as i can. Its not only
obsessing with symmetry around my home and work place
but almost like symmetry with people and putting them
in an order in my head.
Anyway, thank you again for replying, where abouts in
the world are you ( don't worry, this is not an
obsessive want to know where you are question!!!!! see
i even get defencive now!)how old are you and how long
have you felt like this??
cheers
Sarah

________________________________________________________________________
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your friends today! Download Messenger Now
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I miss yo all my groups and every individual. I came back home from Europe. So
Lets see who misses Ryan ... hehe !! Well, this poem is for everyone is reading
my email right now ..I love it alot and i'd like to share it with you here
please listen..


Forever...

It's been hours
seems like days
since you went away
and all I do is check the screen
to see if you're okay
you don't answer when I phone
guess you wanna be left alone
so I'm sending you my heart my soul
and this is what I'll say

I'm sorry
oh so sorry
can't you give me one more chance
to make it all up to you

E-mail my heart
and say our love will never die (and I)
I know you're out there
and I know that you still care (I know you care)
e-mail me back and say our love will stay alive
Forever...e-mail my heart

I can see you in my mind
coming on the line
and opening this letter
that I've sent a hundred times
here's a picture of us two (us two)
I look so good on you (on you)
and can't you please forgive me
for the hurt I put you through

Forever...e-mail my
forever...e-mail my heart



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Liz,

I have to say that despite having a strong sense of guilt and worry,
I have never had an urge to confess. In fact I have found my battle
against OCD has made me very secretive and I now have to work on
stopping myself from lying about the smallest things. I would be
interested to hear if anyone else is working on this problem at the
moment?

However, I can relate very much with your problem cross checking the
lists. I wondered for a long time if I was dyslexic. I was tested,
but nobody found a problem. I knew though that I wasn't reading as
quickly as I could, and cross checking data was a nightmare.

When I worked in retail I had to count the no. of facings of each
product down my particular aisle. I read a number off a list and then
checked the facings on the shelves. Most people got this done really
quickly, but I was petrified I would miss a facing, or a line of
information on the list. It could take for ever.

When I was diagnosed with OCD, I began to look at all areas of my
life and realised this was all part of the same problem. Just unlike
dyslexia, you cannot explain to people that you are slow because you
are obsessive!

Mind you, having said that, when I hit rock bottom and my University
were informed of my problems, they did actually take this into
account when I sat my exams.

Have so many things to talk about on this site, but I shall have a
little rest first!

Claire

--- In ocdsupportuk@yahoogroups.com, "liz" <tizzkins@y...> wrote:
> Hi everyone well can things get much worse, it looks like i may have
> to give my job up, for some reason at the moment i feel like i could
> just hide away from everyone and everything.  Today was really bad i
> went to work the first thing to go wrong was i thought (only thought
> mind you)i had spilt some liquid onto a piece of a vending machine
(it
> was like the tray thing) but because there was some wires on the
piece
> i freaked, i couldnt actually see any liquid on it but because there
> had been the remotest possibility then i had to worry, i was so
afraid
> someone would come along and put the piece back into the machine and
> get electrocuted.
>
> Then i had a disagreement with a colleague and i cant really
remember
> what was said anymore but i suppose it must have been my fault
because
> i am the one feeling guilty and i cant even remember the
conversation
> fully, it was just about some lists,this colleague lost her husband
> about six weeks ago and because we had the disagreement and she has
> only just lost her husband i feel totally responsible for the
> disagreement,  then there was the double checking or cross checking
of
> the lists i had to do, i could see the words but my brain wouldnt
take
> in the fact that the lists did correspond, i just stood there
looking
> and looking, this is really begining to freak me out.
>
> Then there was the list that customers arent supposed to see not
> because of anything sinister just that it contains names of other
> children going on swimming lessons, its like a register, so i get
the
> one woman who decides when my back is turned to have a nosy at the
> list, i come over feeling really guilty that i left the list on the
> desk, cant control the guilt just cant control it, the only way to
get
> rid of the guilt that i made a mistake is to confess, so this is
what
> i do next, i left a message at work for the duty manager actually
> telling him i made a mistake and i told him what it was.  But why?
why
> do i feel compelled to confess, it wasnt the end of the world
mistake,
> probably anyone else wouldnt think twice about it, but oh no it had
to
> happen to me, i couldnt stand the guilt, i felt sick just thinking
> about the situation, why? why? oh why?
>
> Can anyone please relate to even just some of this, sorry its so
long
> winded but i needed to get it out of my system.
>
> From a totally mentally exhausted Liz

Hi everyone well can things get much worse, it looks like i may have
to give my job up, for some reason at the moment i feel like i could
just hide away from everyone and everything.  Today was really bad i
went to work the first thing to go wrong was i thought (only thought
mind you)i had spilt some liquid onto a piece of a vending machine (it
was like the tray thing) but because there was some wires on the piece
i freaked, i couldnt actually see any liquid on it but because there
had been the remotest possibility then i had to worry, i was so afraid
someone would come along and put the piece back into the machine and
get electrocuted.

Then i had a disagreement with a colleague and i cant really remember
what was said anymore but i suppose it must have been my fault because
i am the one feeling guilty and i cant even remember the conversation
fully, it was just about some lists,this colleague lost her husband
about six weeks ago and because we had the disagreement and she has
only just lost her husband i feel totally responsible for the
disagreement,  then there was the double checking or cross checking of
the lists i had to do, i could see the words but my brain wouldnt take
in the fact that the lists did correspond, i just stood there looking
and looking, this is really begining to freak me out.

Then there was the list that customers arent supposed to see not
because of anything sinister just that it contains names of other
children going on swimming lessons, its like a register, so i get the
one woman who decides when my back is turned to have a nosy at the
list, i come over feeling really guilty that i left the list on the
desk, cant control the guilt just cant control it, the only way to get
rid of the guilt that i made a mistake is to confess, so this is what
i do next, i left a message at work for the duty manager actually
telling him i made a mistake and i told him what it was.  But why? why
do i feel compelled to confess, it wasnt the end of the world mistake,
probably anyone else wouldnt think twice about it, but oh no it had to
happen to me, i couldnt stand the guilt, i felt sick just thinking
about the situation, why? why? oh why?

Can anyone please relate to even just some of this, sorry its so long
winded but i needed to get it out of my system.

From a totally mentally exhausted Liz

If you want to try Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, but can't face
going to your doctor. There is a service available on-line, which is
approximately £45 a session, (private CBT can be from around £70 per
50 min session).

Its probably worth checking out the site...

...WWW.psychologyonline.co.uk

I have to say I haven't tried on-line CBT, but this was given a good
write up in a few papers including the Daily Telegraph.

CBT has changed my life. It is not easy and requires some motivation.
It is good if you can find a friend or family member to encourage
you. If anyone wants any support then drop me a line.

Claire

--- In ocdsupportuk@yahoogroups.com, "flossylu2003" <CAB@s...> wrote:
> Hi Sarah,
>
> I am so glad you were brave enough to write about your experiences
on
> this website.
>
> I too get obsessive about people and unfortunately my obsessions
have
> focused on the same person for the past 10 years. It has been
> horrible. You cannot escape your own mind, and unfortunately the
only
> compulsive behaviour that can go with this obsession can be lead to
> trouble.
>
> At my worst I was warned by the police about harrasment and ended
up
> taking an overdose. Even health professionals tend to think you are
> dangerous, but from my own experience I would say this was far from
> the truth. I blame the media for the fear that surrounds this
problem.
>
> Actually, as I am sure you know, It is a very frightening and
lonely
> Obsession to have, and even though I have now been treated with
> medication and CBT, I have to constantly monitor my thoughts and
> train my mind. I don't think it will ever, completely go away.
>
> Perhaps the media should look at the "victims" on the other side of
> so called "stalking" cases.
>
> I appreciate that there are people out there that are dangerous and
I
> am not in anyway trying to belittle the terror those few people
cause.
>
> Regards
>
> C
>
>
>
>
> --- In ocdsupportuk@yahoogroups.com, willow_lea@y... wrote:
> > Hi, Im new so if I ramble a bit, sorrryyy!!
> > I have been suffering from depresion on and off since my late
teens
> > and although I knew that my obsessional and compulsive habits
were
> > not 'normal' I never really faced it as an issue untill the last
> two
> > years.
> > it took a long spell on a psychiatric ward( to me this place was
> > more normal than the outside world!) and a lot of courage to ask
> for
> > help as the panic and anxiety had got too much. I am still in the
> > process of asking for help, ie referrals for cbt and i take
regular
> > medication, but i still find it hard to deal with.
> > My obsessions are with order, symetry everything being in its
place
> > and in some sort of order inside my head. If this means
rearranging
> > things every 10 mins or so then so be it but although i can live
> > with this, there seems to be a darker side i cant. Ive only just
(in
> > the last two weeks) admitted to having the same obsessions with
> > people. If someone shows kindness or affection towards me i find
> > myself wanting to know every little thing about them. sometimes I
> > spend hours daily looking up on the internet one particular
person
> > re reading and going over facts. Its almost like I have to have
> them
> > organised in my head to make me feel safe. I hate this, its not
> > logical and its so tiring and scary and i am still having
problems
> > dealing with it. Does anyone else have these same thoughts? am i
> > nuts? I am a really loving, caring person and PLEASE PLEASE dont
be
> > sacared of answering me, but can anyone throw some light on how i
> > can help myself?
> > sarah xxx

Hi Sarah,

I am so glad you were brave enough to write about your experiences on
this website.

I too get obsessive about people and unfortunately my obsessions have
focused on the same person for the past 10 years. It has been
horrible. You cannot escape your own mind, and unfortunately the only
compulsive behaviour that can go with this obsession can be lead to
trouble.

At my worst I was warned by the police about harrasment and ended up
taking an overdose. Even health professionals tend to think you are
dangerous, but from my own experience I would say this was far from
the truth. I blame the media for the fear that surrounds this problem.

Actually, as I am sure you know, It is a very frightening and lonely
Obsession to have, and even though I have now been treated with
medication and CBT, I have to constantly monitor my thoughts and
train my mind. I don't think it will ever, completely go away.

Perhaps the media should look at the "victims" on the other side of
so called "stalking" cases.

I appreciate that there are people out there that are dangerous and I
am not in anyway trying to belittle the terror those few people cause.

Regards

C




--- In ocdsupportuk@yahoogroups.com, willow_lea@y... wrote:
> Hi, Im new so if I ramble a bit, sorrryyy!!
> I have been suffering from depresion on and off since my late teens
> and although I knew that my obsessional and compulsive habits were
> not 'normal' I never really faced it as an issue untill the last
two
> years.
> it took a long spell on a psychiatric ward( to me this place was
> more normal than the outside world!) and a lot of courage to ask
for
> help as the panic and anxiety had got too much. I am still in the
> process of asking for help, ie referrals for cbt and i take regular
> medication, but i still find it hard to deal with.
> My obsessions are with order, symetry everything being in its place
> and in some sort of order inside my head. If this means rearranging
> things every 10 mins or so then so be it but although i can live
> with this, there seems to be a darker side i cant. Ive only just(in
> the last two weeks) admitted to having the same obsessions with
> people. If someone shows kindness or affection towards me i find
> myself wanting to know every little thing about them. sometimes I
> spend hours daily looking up on the internet one particular person
> re reading and going over facts. Its almost like I have to have
them
> organised in my head to make me feel safe. I hate this, its not
> logical and its so tiring and scary and i am still having problems
> dealing with it. Does anyone else have these same thoughts? am i
> nuts? I am a really loving, caring person and PLEASE PLEASE dont be
> sacared of answering me, but can anyone throw some light on how i
> can help myself?
> sarah xxx

Cheers David, it's good to know there are treatments out there :)

I know I have to go to my GP but I feel a bit shy about it as my particualr
GP has known me since childhood. For some reason I feel it would be easier to
go to a GP who is a complete stranger...if that makes any sense. I suppose I am
afraid of being judged & don't want people finding out about me, but then, my
medical records should be confidential anyway. I would love to be cured (even
if it's just 20% cured) of these symtoms. I often wonder what it must feel
like to walk around town or somewhere & not feel that eyes are upon you, judging
you negatively. In reality the other people are too busy going about their
buisiness to notice you but in my mind, I am on a stage. Weird. It was also
being nice not to give a flying fig what other people think of me as this seems
to
be a major source of anxiety for me which always results in some bizarre
ritual.

It's funny you should mention Jack Nicholson's character in *As good as it
gets*. When I saw it I could identify with many of the things his character does
but didn't realise he had OCD.

It is also baffling how we manage to keep it hidden. It astonishes me that
not one person seems to have noticed & I have had this since I was 8 LOL
Admittedly, I think my personality was labelled as attention seeking perhaps or
behavioural problems as I was so terrified of leaving my mother to go to school.
Nothing was ever done about it though which is a shame, but never mind. I think
my mother may have noticed a few things as she often gets annoyed with me
cleaning up so much but I think she thinks I'm just immensely house-proud like
my
grandmother was & puts my anxiety down to depression alone. I am sure she also
sees me drift off every now & then when I can't seem to avoid doing a
*ritual* in my head, but I'm not sure she knows what it is...maybe she has been
afraid to know.

Take care & many thanks.

Happy new year to you all!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Could someone plz. tell me if i should not be here , i am not in the
uk.. I have ocd & it is at times reuining my life... I feel like an
outsider.. I also suffer from paronia... Excuse me.. I must go now &
try to sleep , i have been awake for to many hours & maybe i will
think straighter latter...

--- In ocdsupportuk@yahoogroups.com, willow_lea@y... wrote:
> Hi, Im new so if I ramble a bit, sorrryyy!!
> I have been suffering from depresion on and off since my late
teens
> and although I knew that my obsessional and compulsive habits were
> not 'normal' I never really faced it as an issue untill the last
two
> years.
> it took a long spell on a psychiatric ward( to me this place was
> more normal than the outside world!) and a lot of courage to ask
for
> help as the panic and anxiety had got too much. I am still in the
> process of asking for help, ie referrals for cbt and i take
regular
> medication, but i still find it hard to deal with.
> My obsessions are with order, symetry everything being in its
place
> and in some sort of order inside my head. If this means
rearranging
> things every 10 mins or so then so be it but although i can live
> with this, there seems to be a darker side i cant. Ive only just
(in
> the last two weeks) admitted to having the same obsessions with
> people. If someone shows kindness or affection towards me i find
> myself wanting to know every little thing about them. sometimes I
> spend hours daily looking up on the internet one particular person
> re reading and going over facts. Its almost like I have to have
them
> organised in my head to make me feel safe. I hate this, its not
> logical and its so tiring and scary and i am still having problems
> dealing with it. Does anyone else have these same thoughts? am i
> nuts? I am a really loving, caring person and PLEASE PLEASE dont
be
> sacared of answering me, but can anyone throw some light on how i
> can help myself?
> sarah xxx


dear sarah, you have been braver than me! i have no idea how to ask
for help, though i want it so i can stop wasting time on things that
seem so ilogical here talking to you, but i have to do. my obsesions
are mainly rituals. i have a post on the site, (me and my ocd.) i no
it helps to be busy, but it doesnt work for me! one site i visited
sed a walk in the park would help take my mind of the rituals, but
no good! my mind saw the park, and than makes up a whole new set of
rituals! i ended up doing more thatn if i had just stayed at home. i
think its realy important that you talk to people. they will be
suportive. i dont think i have truly answered your question, but i
do rambl on. sorry!