Hi there...
First, can I just say, (and this is only MY opinion) to get our point
across...I don't really feel we need to use the "f" word as a noun,
pronoun, verb, or adjective. But, hey...I'm an old lady, so maybe
it's just me.

You say you probably have the "worst type of OCD"...yet, you have been
to Uni and you are/were employed as you say you can't make friends at
work. I know people that are literally housebound, have never worked,
and couldn't even dream of attending, let alone completing, Uni. So,
we're clear that you don't have the worst type, which is good news for
you!!!
>>>I decided to join this forum because i dont know what to do.
I think that's a brilliant start on what to do!!!! You've "admitted"
you have OCD, you've looked around and found people of your own OCD
world, and you've taken a huge step by saying you need some sort of help.

>>>its so bad I dont want to say what the side effects are.
I'm not being nosy...ok, so I am....but what ARE your side effects?
To one of us, it may seem that we're the only ones who have those
particular side effects and it might be useful to one of us to know
we're not alone. Plus, you might bond particularly well with a person
that might have the same thing.

>>>I keep getting pressurised by the
people in the jobcentre to find a job, but I cant get one because of
my problem, I had one last Thursday it was terrible.
Have you told the people at the JobCentre that you have OCD? You
might want to have your doctor write you a letter. Also, there's
plenty of Civil Servant jobs available in IT, and this being a
government body tend to hire a certain number of "disabled" persons.
I, myself, am a Civil Servant...and I advised on my application that I
have OCD. I had to do some testing with the H/S doctor, but
obviously, I passed...and it's very nice and relaxing that I have
"admitted" to people in my work and my employer that I have this.
Although I don't like allowances made for me...by law, they must. It
sure makes it easier to go to work in a relaxed state, rather than
trying to hide everything and being a total wreck when I get home.
So, that might be an option you would like to venture into. Speak to
the people at the JobCentre and be honest.

>>>Unfortunately im still living at home because of this problem. My
father doesnt give a fuck and is happy I have this problem, my mother
keeps pretending that I dont have a problem ( because she cant deal
with it anymore) and keeps forcing me into situations which cause me
to humiliate myself.

Although I don't know your family, I can feel safe about saying your
father isn't happy that you have any type of a problem. He's probably
just at his wits end, not knowing how to be non-OCD in an OCD world.
I've been through two parents, a sibling, two husbands (well, I'm on
my second), a million friends, TWO million jobs, and I know full well
what the other people in my world have been through. It's hard. It's
extremely hard. You say your mother pretends you don't have it...that
may well be true. Unfortunately, to a great many people, burying our
heads is the best way of coping with a horrific situation. You've
heard the saying DON'T LOOK AND IT WON'T HURT. Although we KNOW
that's not true...most of us do it from time to time.
I am curious as to what situations you speak of that she puts you in
to humiliate yourself.

>>>I actually think i can beat it beacuse I meditate, but the thing is
> im not being given time to to develop the skills to block the
> thoughts
I have lived with OCD since age of 12. I'm 42 now. There is no
"time" to develop skills. There is no "time" that you can take out of
your day to block thoughts. If I took all the time I needed to
develop skills, time would stop and I would be an old, old lady, still
trying to develop the skills. I don't mean to be hard, rash, or
offensive, but it is LIFE...and you just need to read books regarding
OCD, get on the internet and find as much out as possible, visit your
doctor regularly, if you're not on medication...perhaps the doctor can
find one that suits you. I've been on it all...and I'm on
Zoloft/200mg per day. It's my lifesaver. I was an original "tester"
for Zoloft when it first came about for OCD patients. I've tried
others, but I tend to like Zoloft.
Each day you live and each breath you take, you are developing skills
and you should be learning to block thoughts. Know everything you can
about your illness...and please, stop calling it a "problem". It's
not a problem, it's OCD.

On closing, I left the last bit of your posting on my email as I must
admit, I just don't understand it. I'm not a doctor, by any means,
but usually, I'm pretty good at figuring out (or coming close) to
understanding what another OCDer means...but you say it's started in
1998 as a compulsion disorder. And, then you speak of your "side
effect". Again, whether it's being curious or not understanding or
just plain being nosy...what is this side effect?

Also, I assume you have visited your doctor and advised him/her of
your feelings at this time? Do you keep a journal?

Again, to yourself...and anyone else who is reading this...I am not
meaning to offend or cause ill-feelings....it's simply my opinion.

Thanks!
Star
>
> One last thing I realise that this may have turned into a physical
> problem beacuse there have been times were I THOUGHT I had controlled
> the problem, but the side-effect is till there. I have tried all
> sorts of things to stop the side-effect but it still remains, if I
> can reach a certain level of meditation and the problem still
> persists then I know I need to see a doctor. But I know the root
> cause has been a compulsion disorder thast started in 1998 ever since
> then I have the side-effect, maybe I have had the problem for so long
> that the side-effect still persists even when I control my thoughts.
> Hope this makes sense.