hi I was wondering how many other people on this site have trouble
with checking? It seems like a kind of perfectionism the way I see
it. I am constantly trying to get things right and hate the anxiety
that appears if I either don't carry out the action or don't complete
it in a 'satisfactory' way. I know the things I'm worried about are
trivial and stupid but wide-ranging such as bits of dirt on my
clothes or fingers that "have" to be removed to worrying that my
glasses aren't positioned on my face properly, electrical appliances
turned off properly and no leads sticking out (where they might trip
people up) mobile phone checked each time I pick it up because I
might have accidentally dialled someone's number, objects not to be
left to close to the gas cooker in case they accidentally fall on the
taps and turn them on. On Saturday I couldn't convince myself that
I'd shut the zips of my rucksack properly and kept opening them and
closing them about 20 times. When I eventually managed it I worried
that my personal belongings had fallen out so I then had to check
that I'd not lost anything - glasses, sunglasses, phone, painkillers,
keys and spent half an hour worrying about some keys that I might
have forgotten and then on through a list of things that I felt
pretty certain weren't in my bag, but I thought I'd check just to be
on the safe side. These are some examples of the crazy senseless
thoughts I attend to on a daily basis though the last one is not so
frequent but far too often all the same. I hate the fact that the
rest of my life has to go on hold until I have dealt with each
individual obsession. It's so very draining and tiring and robs me of
energy and time that I could be putting into more constructive
things.

I have had OCD a long time and had CBT a couple of years ago but only
6 sessions as it was quite expensive and not that successful. I know
a fair bit about this condition and I've read Brainlock and feel bad
about the fact that I've still not overcome this condition. It seems
as though as fast as I improve with one obsession another one enters.

I think overcoming this condition takes a lot of guts because you
have to sit with these thoughts driving you crazy and with one half
screaming at you to check and make everything alright and the other
saying "no leave it alone." . I know when I do decide to let go of
the obsessive thoughts they usually (though not always) go of their
own accord as long as I focus my attention on something constructive.
I guess i've answered my own question really but a lot of the time I
just lack the courage to trust. Any helpful suggestions gratefully
received.

Thanks

Sungsings