tHERE mUST bE aN eRROR

Something does not add up.

On one hand, the dairy industry is conducting a
search for "perfect" student bodies. They write:

"...studies suggest that teens who get enough milk
are more likely to weigh less and have less body
fat than those who don't." See:

http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/060323/cgth047.html?.v=51

On the other hand...

Each year, Lancaster, Pennsylvania farmers honor
their state's dairy princessess. These young ladies
exemplify all that is wonderful abut the dairy
industry. By their own admission, each girl drinks
plenty of milk and eats more than her share of cheese.

These are nice kids, and I would not want to write
anything to make them feel bad about themselves, but
in this case, I have an obligation to do so for the
sake of their cardiovascular systems.

Visit the website: http://www.lancasterfarming.com

Midway down the LEFT column, there is a heading:

County Dairy Princesses

Click on that link and you'll see all thirty princesses
posing in their gowns and tiaras. Do you see something
terribly wrong with the photograph, as I immediately did?

http://www.lancasterfarming.com/images/pageant1.jpg

In the lower right part of the photo there is a hidden
icon that allows you to enlarge the photo. Move your cursor
a bit and you'll find it. Look at the flabby shoulders.
Young girls should have petite arms. Most of these ladies
do not. I do not manipulate the sad truth. A photo tells
a thousand-word story.

It would be inappropriate to promote the stereotype that
female models should resemble strands of uncooked fettucini.
Neither should they be clinically bulimic. However, their
figures should more closely resemble hourglass timers than
Big Ben. Many of these Penn Stater girls have arms, thighs,
shoulders and torsos appropriate for Nittany Lion gridders.

More than half of the beauties have transcended the "zaftig"
category. These pretty young things are a bit overweight. I
feel bad for these Pennsylvania teenagers. They have been
deceived. They've been told that the consumption of dairy
products aids in weight loss. For these princesses, the
consumption of dairy has resulted in just the opposite.

The photograph of this year's dairy princesses is an
outrageously bad joke. Shame on the National Milk
Processors for creating and marketing their big fat lie.

Just for the heck of it...

I did a google search for: "Miss Soybean Princess."

Although I have heard the story of a princess sleeping
atop ten mattresses piled upon one soybean, I've never
before heard of a soybean princess. He is what I found:

http://pacer.utm.edu/2178.htm

Perhaps it's just my love of soybeans, but the above
photo, in my opinion, is all about what American youth
should look like. The dairy industry version has got it
all wrong.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Cow's Milk Prevents Breast Cancer

The dairy industry has made so many outlandish claims
regarding the healing benefits of cow's milk over the
years, that my first reaction to each new preposterous
headline is to just ignore the contents of such articles.

Today's research news is the exception, and should rightly
result in tomorrow's headlines. I have been unable to find
even one flaw in the latest scientific study, published in
the March 19, 2006 issue of the Journal of the National
Medical Association (JNMA), Volume 15, p. 27-41. Today's
column is a call for independent scientists to replicate
the study and confirm or negate the findings.

These past years, I have been America's number-one
critic of Pasteurized milk and dairy products. It
was most unexpected to find the following study done
with raw milk, pasteurized milk, and soy milk. The
results were unanticipated.

From Medline:

"Appropriately timed proliferation, differentiation and
apoptosis are essential to the normal functions of the
mammary epithelium of ostrea edulis. When overexpressed in
the nontransformed EpH4 mammary epithelial cell line, milk
consumption prevents the STAT-driven expression of the milk
protein beta-casein and duct formation, and prevents apoptosis.
Consistent with an antiapoptotic function, we demonstrate that
un-treated (raw) milk results in the negative expression
in 88% of histologically high-grade ductal breast carcinomas,
which are clinically the most aggressive. Milk has previously
been characterized as a regulator of B lymphocyte growth and
development, but our work identifies a novel role for it in
preventing epithelial differentiation, which may also
implicate dairy as a means to preventing carcinogenesis."
(Jones, C., Winslow, E., Standish, R., Bradford, W.,
Alden, J., Journal of the National Medical Association
Volume 15, p. 27-41, 03/19/06, Harvard Medical College,
Standish Cancer Clinic). For the entire reference, see:

<http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?
cmd=Retrieve&db=pubmed&dopt=Abstract&list_uids=5391950&query_hl=16&ito
ol=pubmed_docsum >

Harvard researchers (Christopher Jones, et; al.) have
determined that a diet of unpasteurized milk from Holstein
cows shrunk breast tumors by an average of 88 percent in
30 days or less. I have rigorously reviewed the research
data, and cannot find fault with any part of the study.

Twelve hundred experimental subjects with breast cancer
were treated at Harvard's Standish Clinic (in Boston,
Massachusetts), and two-thirds of those in the experimental
group were determined to be in complete remission after
a diet of raw milk. There was no change in 300 control
group subjects who drank pasteurized organic milk
(from Horizon Farms). A third group given soymilk,
experienced small statistically significant breast
cancer reductions averaging just under one percent.

There seem to be no extraneous variables nor statistical
or experimental bias that I've found in previous studies.
I've gone so far as to research the scientists' backgrounds,
and find no ties to the dairy industry. The study was funded
by a grant from the National Institutes of Health.

The Experimental Design

Although I've previously been a critic of animal research,
I doubt that any of the creatures in this study suffered
pain. In the above research, one hundred thousand oysters
(ostrea edulis) were harvested from Boston harbor. Less than
two percent of these grey mollusks were determined to be
suffering from advanced breast cancer. Eighteen hundred
oysters were divided into three groups. Twelve hundred were
soaked in unpasteurized milk from Harvard's herd of 80
Holsteins kept in Boston Commons. Three hundred were soaked
in soymilk. The remaining three hundred (the control group)
were soaked in pasteurized organic milk from Horizon Farms.

After the study, the researchers and staff enjoyed a
traditional New England-style seafood chowder. Happy April
Fool's Day to you and your loved ones. Oysters have no
breasts. Ergo, no breast cancer. The only boobs in analogous
studies are the persons who believe that rat, cat, and
chicken breasts can in any way be related to the human
version. Did Walt depict Minnie wearing a bra?

The dairy industry's cancer scientist, Robert Hutchings
Goddard, said this about Robert Cohen's April Fool's joke:

"This NotMilk guy doesn't know his ass from an udder."

The NotMilkman's response: "Goddard lacks credibility.
This guy's no rocket scientist..."

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Extraordinary Notmilk Comic

In February of 1961, I was just nine years old. I
begged my parents to take me with them to see Lenny
Bruce perform his comic routine at Carnegie Hall. They
turned me down; not because my parents were not very
liberal thinkers, but because most adults thought that
Bruce's language was unsuitable for nine-year-old ears.
I would not have been admitted to the show.

Eddie Murphy was not yet born in 1961. Richard Pryor
was in the army, serving his nation in a military
prison. Lenny would never be seen on prime time
television, although a subsequent play about his life
would enjoy a short run Broadway. Dustin Hoffman would
later portray Lenny in a feature film.

Long before Richard Pryor dared to break the
mold of the stand-up comic; long before Robin
Williams created comedy out of thin air; long
before George Carlin performed his top ten list
of words never to be said on television, and
long before Tommy and Dick Smothers ended their
CBS run with a show finale that included a
routine of raw x-rated dirty joke punchlines
that will forever be a classic...long before all
of these geniuses of comedy, there was Lenny Bruce.

Lenny Bruce was more than a stand-up comic. He was a
revolutionary who spoke against the world's hypocrisy.

Here's Bob Dylan's 1981 eulogy to Lenny:

"Lenny Bruce is dead but his ghost lives on and on. Never
did get any Golden Globe award, never made it to Synanon. He
was an outlaw, that's for sure. More of an outlaw than you
ever were. Lenny Bruce is gone but his spirit's livin' on
and on."

Here's what Lenny said about milk in February of 1961 at
Carnegie Hall:

(Imaginary Dialogue Between Lenny & His Mom)

"Milk is bad for you. Yeah, that's another thing. Milk
for ten years has been getting stabbed. Mucus free diets.
Flemmo. Yeech. Don't drink milk."

"Milk is good for you."

"No it's not. It's not good for you. You've been lying all
these years, ma. It's bad for you. And spinach gives you
cancer. That's why you're all literally eating this
food...conditioning. It's all on your plate. Eat it all."

Lenny was a man before his time. The audience laughs
continuously through this "live" routine. The "mucus"
reference hit the strongest nerve and got the biggest laugh.
Everybody knew the truth in 1961, just as everybody knows
the truth now. We laugh at those things touching closest
to the bone.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Mixed Message from Dairymen

On one hand, the dairy industry calls cow's milk
"wholesome" and "nature's most perfect food for
humans." On the other hand...

Hoard's Dairyman describes itself as the
"National Dairy Farm Magazine." The March 25,
2006 issue brings its readers a mixed message
regarding the dairy industry's version of milk
safety.

On page 191, the latest available data regarding
Somatic Cell Count (SCC) in America's dairy herds
reveals that the average SCC per herd is 295.

What does 295 mean? SCC is expressed by the number
of dead white blood cells, or pus cells, per
milliliter of milk. In other words, a count of 295
means that that tiny sample of milk contained 295,000
pus cells. Therefore, one liter (about a quart) of
milk would contain 295 million pus cells. As SCC
levels rise over 100,000, that indicates a herd with
infected cows exhibiting signs of mastitis. An SCC
count of 200,000 reflects a herd rate of 35% infected
animals.

Later on in that same issue of Hoard's (page 206),
there is an article on Milk Quality by dairy expert
Paul Dersam (with the Quality Enhancement Group in
Alden, New York.)

I nearly fell out of my chair after reading:

"As SCC rises to 200,000, milk protein deteriorates."

I had just read that the average SCC in America was
295,000.

Dersam writes:

"Also, excessive SCC levels in extended shelf life milk
have very negative effects on quality at about one-third
of the way through the potential shelf-life of that product."

You might be wondering how the dairy industry defines an
uninfected dairy herd. Paul Dersam writes:

"Uninfected cows normally run an SCC of less than 100,000."

What is this expert's conclusion regarding America's milk
supply. He writes:

"Generally speaking, herd average SCC levels should be
under 250,000."

Oops. The American average is way above that.

I trust that you and your loved ones are no longer
drinking infected mastitis-causing organisms in body
fluids from diseased animals.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

How to Kill Yourself or Commit Murder

In his best selling book, "Final Exit," Derek Humphry
describes foolproof methods of ending one's life. One
procedure is to take twenty or thirty Percocet and drink
a fifth of scotch. Then, put a plastic bag over your head
so that you become oxygen deprived. In the final moment
of consciousness, take a 45 caliber pistol in each hand
and simultaneously pull the triggers while aiming the guns
one inch in front of each ear.

Another more painful way is described as follows.

One of my readers let me know last evening that he
had severe gastric distress after eating two cups of
sour cream with bananas and berries for dinner. This
same reader has a history of heart disease and strokes.

One cup of sour cream contains the same amount of
saturated fat (48 grams) as is contained in sixteen
slices of greasy Armour bacon. The two cups of
saturated fat contained in last evening's meal
contained the same amount of fat found in two
one-pound packages of bacon.

After removing the water, 72 percent of what remains
in that sour cream is fat. Pure fat. Heart-unhealthy
saturated animal fat. As a matter of fact, when comparing
100 grams of sour cream to 100 grams of porterhouse steak,
we find that the sour cream contains 28 percent more fat.
Sour cream is not a food that a stroke survivor should
ever eat.

Gastric distress? The sour cream buffered his gastric
environment so that all of the foods in his stomach
would ferment and putrefy. Reflux was a given. His
letter to me asked whether the sour cream might have
been the cause. My respoonse was that the banana
must have gone directly to his brain.

Will he survive this meal? Perhaps. I certainly hope
so. I would hate to see dairy bastards claim another
naive victim.

Killing oneself with two guns and drugs and alcohol is
a relatively painless way to die. Killing oneself with
a diet of sour cream after a history of strokes may result
in death. Then again, it may also result in a lifetime of
diapers and extremely unpleasant consequences for health
care providers. In most cases, the health care provider
is a spouse.

Eating a container of sour cream was a mistake, and
I hope that this Notmilk reader does not repeat his
error. Should he continue to make such mistakes, diapers
containing loose stools will become the reward for his
heirs. If he is lucky, the next stroke will immediately
end his life. Such is the nature of suicidal acts.

How to Get Away With Murder

Once your spouse has suffered a debilitating stroke,
he or she becomes a candidate for the Katrina or Tsunami
of all strokes. Feeding your loved one to death is
really quite simple. Don't just bake him a potato served
with one dollop of saturated sour-cream gunk. Figure
out a way to serve him the entire container. If he's
not a sour cream and banana eater, mix one package of
onion soup mix into a container of sour cream. Serve that
to him with carrots and celery sticks. He'll think that's
a healthy snack.

The police and coroner will find no murder weapon.
Nobody will suspect you as the killer.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

This is a replay of my 2001 April Fool's Day column:

Dear Friends,

This will be my last EMail message to you.

I am giving up the NotMilk campaign. A very generous offer
has been made to me for the rights to the NotMilk site, and
I've decided to accept.

This past weekend I spoke before a few hundred people in
Vancouver, B.C. I spent eleven hours in airports and flying
home. I found myself waiting for a plane while on layover
in Toronto. There was a Kentucky Fried Chicken stand next
to a Ben & Jerry's ice cream booth.

Confession is good for the soul. The smell of that chicken
was irresistable. Like one of Pavlov's dogs, the odor of
fried chicken flesh triggered my salivary glands and before
I could control myself, I accepted a free sample.

Damn, that was delicious. The hell with the animals, I
thought. Seven dollars later, I had devoured a four piece
chicken meal.

Thirsty? Damned right! I looked around. The airport was
nearly deserted. Nobody would be witness to my fall from
grace.

I walked up to the counter.

"Black and white shake, please."

It was delicious.

So you see? I cannot in good conscience continue my
campaign. I am giving up the NotMilk movement, and have
sold out to a very high bidder.

I wish you all the best.

Oh, yes.

Happy April Fool's Day!

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

This is a replay of my 2002 April Fools Day column:

Will Wonders Never Cease?

On Sunday (3/31/2002), White Wave, the
manufacturer of SILK soymilk and SILK
chocolate soymilk issued a press release
on the P.R. newswire announcing changes to
their best-selling soymilk formulas.

SILK'S Mission Statement:

"To creatively integrate healthy, natural
soyfoods into the American diet."

SILK'S president and founder, Steve Demos, said,

"We're interested in promoting foods the
world is better off with, not without."

The press release contained a surprise announcement.
Based upon new research, future SILK products will
no longer contain carrogeenen or artificial flavors.

http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/020331/ahctog-yadslooflirpa/.html

Demos said:

"We pride ourselves in producing the healthiest
soymilk product in America, using safe organic
ingredients for our discriminating consumers. It
has come to our attention that carrageenan may
not be safe, so we've decided to replace
carrageenan with organic agar-agar."

Demos recently opened his new state-of-the-art
processing plant, where SILK will control all
phases of the manufacturing process of their
soymilk, from grinding the beans to bottling
the milk.

Demos has also exercised his option to buy back
the shares of White Wave stock that he sold to
America's largest dairy processor, Dean Foods, in
1998. Demos now controls 100% of his original
company.

Demos also took the opportunity to comment about
rumors that the cocoa in SILK chocolate milk is
grown in nations in which slavery is legal.
Demos said:

"We will never knowingly purchase chocolate from
any nation in which children are kidnapped and live
in slavery. Ever. That would be unconscionable."

How SILK Soymilk is Made

Soybeans are added to a vat of water just as you
might soak beans overnight to make them softer
and easier to cook. The beans are then ground and
added to steel drums in which water is added to form
a paste. This process of pulverization separates the fats,
proteins, and carbohydrates into a product that SILK
refers to as "soy base." The soy base is shipped to a
dairy processing factory in tanker trucks. Each truck
contains 24,000 quarts of soy base. The soy base is
unloaded into another vat where it is blended with water,
artificial flavors (which SILK calls natural), and other
ingredients (don't ask, they will not tell you).

In order to kill the microscopic organisms and bacteria
that have matured during this long grinding, storing, and
shipping process, the entire product is then pasteurized.
This kills the molds, yeasts, and bacteria. After heat
treatment, SILK is then piped into holding tanks and
filled into cartons. From start to finish, the SILK milk
can take between two days and one week to reach your
supermarket shelves.

APRIL FOOLS!

Most of today's column is not true.

How SILK Soymilk is Made: That part is true.

SILK still refuses to condemn slavery. All it would
take Steve Demos to do is pledge to not buy chocolate
from the Ivory Coast, where children are kidnapped and
enslaved. His refusal to do so is unfortunate.

SILK still continues to process their soymilk
with dairy manufacturers, and marks each carton of
soymilk with the tiniest letters, DE (dairy equipment).

SILK has not purchased back their stock from Dean
Foods, and is in bed with the dairy industry,
relying upon the milk industry for distribution
and valuable supermarket slotting space.

SILK has not changed their formula, opting to
continue to use carrageenan, despite evidence
that this substance that is removed from seaweed
with powerful alkali chemicals may be hazardous
to human health. Dr. Andrew Weil recently warned
his readers about the dangers of carrageenan.
He wrote:

"Carrageenan can cause ulcerations and
cancers of the gastrointestinal tract."

SILK still does not recognize your right as a consumer
to know what you are drinking. While most companies
list all ingredients on their packaging, SILK refuses
to list their "natural" secret flavors.

SILK is one very bad April Fool's joke. If you
continue to drink their soymilk, the joke is on you.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

This is a replay of my 2003 April Fool's Day column:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Friends,

It's 4:10 AM. I've just driven home from a poorly
attended 3-day health show in Toronto Canada. Canadians
have a new plague to worry about, SARS. That stands for
Severe Acute Respiratory Disease. I am amazed that our
neighbors to the north used "severe" and "acute" in the
same acronym.

They could have been more imaginative, but Canadians seem
to have a lot on their minds. The day before I left for
Canada, my local hockey team (NJ Devils) had to endure
a Montreal arena filled with boos during the playing of
America's National anthem. Many visitors to my booth,
aware that my daughter Sarah and myself were from the
states, insisted on informing us with authority that the
9-11 WTC airplane attacks were a CIA and Israeli plot.
With friends like this...

The devastating respiratory virus is killing one out of
20 who catch the disease. I hardly blame them for not
showing up at a health show in a public place. One sneeze
can infect thousands with an airborne spray. Many of
Toronto's hospitals have been shut down. People are living
in quarantine. A very ugly situation.

Having driven 500 miles straight from Toronto to New
Jersey, I was stopped by a policeman in a neighboring
town because my van looked "suspicious." I kid you not.
A few blocks from my home, the officer informed me that
my vehicle was filled with boxes and should not have
been in a residential neighborhood at 2 AM. He must
have thought I was a terrorist. The officer issued me
a summons because I had failed to sign my driver's
license. The town was Emerson. The ticket number is
E-020352. The offense was cited as statute number
39:3-9a.

I had a much easier time getting through customs at
Niagara Falls than I did with the Emerson, NJ cop.

After arriving home, I turned on the computer and
waited a few minutes for my high speed line to download
over 7,000 email messages. Forgive me if I do not answer
your letter this week...or ever.

I've had enough. It's been nearly nine years
on the firing line, and I've made my mark. The
Notmilk movement is strong, and many have
stepped forward to become powerful anti-milk
warriors. Now that I leave the movement, others
will take my place.

My greatest accomplishment was to help doctors
emerge from their closets of ignorance. For many
years before all of the Notmilk publicity I've helped
to create, what physician in his or her right mind
would advise families not to consume milk and dairy
products? That would normally mean the end of a patient
and decreased cash flow. Courage. I've given them
courage, a brain, and a heart. I feel like a wizard.
Mission accomplished.

So, with no regret, I will now focus upon other
playing fields. I will no longer write a daily
Notmilk column, and, like the general that I am,
will softly fade away. The Notmilk movement will
continue on without me.

OK. Many people read the first few paragraphs of a
column before deleting the rest. These persons will
not realize that this is my way of saying:
"April Fools!"

I am not really quitting. Tomorrow we all celebrate
April Fool's Day. I was one day early. I have no
intention of quitting. My mission continues. The stuff
about the plague, cop, and ticket are sad but true.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

April Fools Day Joke, 2004

This is a replay of my 2004 April Fools Day column:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Friends,

I have not written to you in over a month, and
it's time to let you know what I've been up to.

I've been searching for a home in the St. Louis
area, where my family will be relocating. Sadly,
I've learned that one cannot make a living writing
a free Notmilk column. Instead, I've accepted a
job offer and tomorrow will begin my first day as the
director of corporate communications for a Missouri
pharmaceutical company.

Should you wish to contact me, please use my new
email address:

rcohen@ Monsanto.com

I will be leaving my website up <http://www.notmilk.com>
with a few minor alterations. I've learned through
re-education that biotechnology is not as bad as I've
previously thought. Genetic engineering promises a
wonderful future for all Americans.

Last, but not least, I want to wish all of you a
happy April Fool's Day. Based upon my previous April
Fool's jokes, at least half of you are either cursing
me or are now in shock and did not bother to read this
paragraph.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

April Fools Day Joke, 2005

I am particularly fond of a good April Fools Day
Joke, particularly when friends put one over on me.

I am also happy to tell you that each year, my April
Fools Day jokes fool hundreds of people. Despite the
fact that this day is still more than a week away,
I will still continue to fool some of the people some
of the time with my 2006 version, which is not yet
written.

I believe that we are the only species that plays
April Fools Day jokes on each other (correct me
if I am wrong, please), and I urge you to begin
your planning now. Nothing is better than a good
harmless joke that ends with "gotcha."

Here is last years joke, which will remain a classic:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Variety is the Spice of Life

I have been a vegan for eight years, but a few weeks
ago gave in to the temptation of a freshly-made bowl
of Manhattan-style clam chowder at Gosman's restaurant
in Montauk, New York, and I am glad I did. After all,
I reasoned, the Notmilkman can eat clam chowder, so
long as it's not New England-style.

The soup was delicious. As an animal rights activist, I
had to come to terms with eating once-living creatures,
but clams have no eyes, face, or feelings. That's where
I now draw the line. I can say with complete honesty that
I felt not even a twinge of guilt or remorse.

Is it ok to occasionally eat seafood? Why not? The clams
came from unpolluted waters in Long Island, New York, and
if one does not make a habit of eating living things, what
really is the big deal to do so once or twice each year?

A few days after that, I ate in a local Italian restaurant,
Adiamos, in Haworth, NJ. I ordered pasta with red clam sauce.
The chef had added two shrimps to the dish, so I ate what was
offered. It was mostly clams anyway and I felt no guilt by
eating those two small shrimp, which I had not intentionally
requested in the first place. They were a bit salty for my
taste, and I won't be ordering shrimp again. Note to animal
rights activists: Ever see a shrimp's face before they cut
off its head and freeze it into a five-pound block? These are
very primitve and quite ugly creatures, and nobody can
intelligently argue that these insects of the sea are sentient
beings.

I am writing this column because last night, in celebration of
my mom's 87th birthday, our family ate in a nearby Spanish
restaurant, El Cid in Paramus, New Jersey. A few of my dinner
companions dined on lobster, but I resisted the temptation to
do so because they closely resemble shrimp. Instead, I ordered
the paella special, which I was told would contain mostly rice
and clams. When they brought the dish to the table, the steam
escaped and I salivated like a Pavlovian dog. (Much to his credit,
my dad continued his vegan diet, refusing to eat any animal.)

Clams were sticking out throughout the paella dish, as promised,
but I also spotted a chicken wing and some small sausages that
the waiter called "chorizos." I rationalized that a chicken could
live without the use of its wings, so I tasted and loved what I
ate. Same with the chorizos, which I later learned were smoked
Spanish sausages made from pigs. I did not feel good about eating
the pig, but they were delicious too. I will probably never again
eat pigs unless I return to this same restaurant and order the
paella special.

In any event, it's all an April Fool's joke. Most of you know that,
of course, but some of you were probably so upset with me that the
entire column was not read and you did not get to read this part,
just like in years past.

Whoever is still with me, take heart. Have a happy and healthy and
sane April Fool's Day tomorrow. I am still a strict vegan, and will
continue to be.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Got Crohn's Disease?

If your future includes a diagnosis of Crohn's
Disease, irritable bowel syndrome, or ulcerative
colitis, blame it on your dairy consumption.

There is an epidemic on American dairy farms, and
even 60 Minutes won't touch this story.

Dairy herds are infected with bacteria that
even pasteurization cannot kill. The bacterium
is known as mycobacterium paratuberculosis (MAP).

One hundred percent of people diagnosed with
Crohn's disease test positive for MAP. Cow's
milk and dairy product consumption is the cause.
See:

http://www.notmilk.com/c.html

The March 15, 2006 issue of the Journal of Molecular
Probes reports a study (Clark, et. al.) in which
retail cheese samples were tested for MAP.
Five percent of the 98 samples tested positive.

If you wish not to get the permanent runs, run to
your refrigerator and dump the cheese, milk, and
every other food item that comes out of a cow's
udder. Yes, Virginia. You may eat the udder.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

I Dare the Green Bay Packers

Today's challenge is not limited to the Green Bay
Packers football team, although their "cheesehead"
fans make this team the obvious contender for the
Notmilk contest to end all contests.

Diogenes, the greatest cynic in recorded literature,
spent his lifetime seeking just one honest man. The
Notmilkman, on the other hand, is seeking just one
sports team to confirm or deny the dairy industry's
latest outlandish claim.

America's milk processors continues to promote a big
lie. They claim that chocolate milk is the perfect
drink for exhausted athletes. See:

http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7002803006

Does any reader of this Notmilk letter know a high
school, college, or professional football or soccer
coach willing to participate in an experiment?

I sure would enjoy somebody taking the dairy industry's
challenge. As a mater of fact, I'll be happy to get
live national television coverage of the event.
I'll also see to it that more than one ambulance is
on the scene to transport chocolate milk-drinking
athletes to emergency rooms from the cramping and
asthma attacks which result from drinking two or
more liters of chocolate milk before halftime
instead of water or Gatorade. They might even make
a movie of this and call it: The Longest Yard.

Please, oh please, take me up on this one. It will
be a defining moment in sports history. Is there
just one coach out of thousands who is willing to
invite his players to participate in this experiment?

There are thousands of high school football and soccer
teams. There are hundreds of college football and soccer
teams. There is the National Football League and the
World Soccer League. I am looking for just one courageous
team.

I am willing to stake my reputation on this one. To the
team taking the dairy industry's advice, let me warn you:
It will not be pretty.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

I Like Dubya; We Both Hate Milk

Dad once advised me never to discuss politics or
religion with strangers. Good thing we are not
strangers. We're not going to discuss religion today.

Some of you will get angry at me for today's
column. You will write nasty letters and curse me
and put hexes on my great-grandchildren's children.
That is the price I pay for just about every column
I write. I always seem to alienate somebody. So be
it.

Why I like George Bush

George Bush is that nice kid we all knew in fifth grade.
He is filled with mischief, but never really picks on
the class nerd, but laughs when others do. I think of
him as that likeable eleven-year-old kid who kept
getting Ds and Fs in math and English.

As his popularity level and level of confidence falls
to historic lows, George Bush, Jr. may very well be
judged to be the worst president in American history,
but I still like him.

Historical analysts might also note that he is the
best delegator in American history. Bush is the least
accountable president that I've ever seen (the lowest
number of live press conferences), and the man who
took the most vacations. Now for his friends.

George came. He saw. He delegated. His choices for those
he gave power resulted in the most horrendous consequences
for all Americans. We have lost our freedoms while
becoming a police state. We have given pharmaceutical
companies enormous power. The men in George's administration
who did things to have every nation on this planet hate us
are some of the most evil who have ever lived.

His friends are named Darth, Voldemort, and Monsatan.
They are to be universally despised. George has made his
friends wealthy while selling out middle America. But the
worst thing he has done, so far as I am concerned, is
rewarded the pharmaceutical companies for generations to
come. The needless vaccines. The protection from lawsuits.
The pesticides and herbicides. All George's doing.
His biggest friend? Monsanto.

I have previously described how this Bush administration
is actually the United States of Monsanto land with men
like Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas, Donald
Rumsfeld, John Ashcroft, and many others once worked
for America's pharmaceutical terror. See:

http://www.notmilk.com/pelican.html

Of course, Monsanto is not all bad. They have given
humankind many gifts such as Agent Orange, NutraPoison,
PCBs and dioxins. Monsanto is a leader in population
control. History might also record how Monsanto was
a leader in preserving America's Social Security
system and corporate pension funds. (Die sooner, less
benefits paid, society benefits).

George Bush's policies are not all that bad. He is
attempting to tax the milk processors, just the way
packages of cigarettes and gallons of gas have been
taxed. He is attempting to take away their subsidies.
Hooray for little things.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Soy Safety to be Reviewed

Once upon a time, Saddam Hussein ordered his retreating
soldiers to blow up Kuwait's oil wells and destroy
their chemical manufacturing plants. The sky was
darkened over American troops, who breathed in fumes
that never should have entered human lungs.

Soon after George Bush's daddy ordered the annihilation of
the Iraqi army (like machine-gunning fish in a barrel) with
America's unprecedented technological air superiority in
Gulf War I, tens of thousands of American soldiers returned
home and came down with a myriad of diseases, collectively
known as Gulf War Syndrome.

Many of those men and women who served America got cancers.
Many of those soldiers suffered and died horribly painful
deaths. Some of their children were born with horrific
genetic deformities.

I recall the investigation well and our government's
denial of any cause other than coincidence. One scientist
from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) stands
out. Mike Shelby. As the Gulf Syndrome plague continued
to generate controversy, Dr. Shelby told America:

"The evidence is very weak, but the pop press tends to
sensationalize even the slightest risk because that sells
better than hardcore interpretations that include
uncertainties and caveats."

I remember the moment well. At that time, I wanted to
stick my newspaper up Mr. Shelby's caveat, for his
insensitive and unscientific bias.

This week, Mike Shelby's name came into the news again.
It struck a bell. I remembered his name and his previous
bias.

NIH has convened a so-called independent panel to review
the safety of infant soy formula. Independent?

Shelby has already commented that soy affects womens
menstrual cycle. His comments are based upon animal research,
which be believes suggests that soy is dangerous for humans.

One day, I trust that men and women like Shelby will recognize
that laboratory rat research is bogus. As a matter of fact,
all animal research (with the exception of human research) is
ridiculously and unfairly applied to humans.

During the 1940s, long before the polio vaccine was approved
for humans, a group of chimpanzees were given that vaccine
and they all died. What did the ape studies teach us?
Rather than learn, we were betrayed by primate research.

Just for the record: Half of the cancers rats get, mice
do not get. Half of the cancers mice get, rats do not
get. Rats lack human enzymes, and humans lack rat enzymes,
and each species digests foods in a different manner.
Rats lack gall bladders and have trouble digesting
soy protein. Is it odd that a human woman's menstrual
cycle is determined to be compromised because a long
tailed, furry, sharp-toothed female rat did not ovulate
at a scientist's previously determined proper moment?

Remember the name Mike Shelby. Great things are in
store for this scientific non-scientist, who warps
research to apply his bias to policies affecting
the health and safety of Americans.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

China's New American Disease Epidemic

Five years ago, I predicted that the health of people
living in China would soon begin to deteriorate as
a result of their new milk industry and dairy diets.
The February 3, 2001 Notmilk column:

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/notmilk/message/460

In that column, I wrote:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Chinese have an inferiority complex. They've seen
the Japanese people grow an average of two inches
over the last two generations (40 years) while their
heights have remained stable. In order to attain the
same physical growth, the Chinese government has
been working closely with America's dairy industry,
recognizing that growth hormones in milk are the
missing link keeping them from attaining the same
stature as the Japanese.

The Chinese are developing enormous state-of-the-art
10,000-cow dairy farms, but they do not have the
same fully developed power and electric resources
as do the Americans or Japanese. Refrigerators are not
found in every home. How to cool and store the milk?
That problem has been solved.

The first Chinese-made fully automatic, milk packing
equipment has been manufactured by the Anhui
Keyuan Group. They will now put the milk into
Parmalat-style shelf stable containers.

Perhaps we should send the Chinese some fun-filled
x-ray machines, hip replacement devices, and heart valves.
They'll soon be needing them. Indigestion? Osteoporosis?
Heart disease, asthma, and cancer? Choose one from column
A and one from column B. An American menu for American
diseases. One glass of milk and thirty minutes
later, the Chinese will be wanting more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This week (March 16, 2006), an Associated Press Report
(written by Margie Mason) reported this headline story:

Heart Disease, Cancer Top Killers in China

The author of that story reveals:

"China has undergone a huge health transition.
Infectious disease has been replaced by the same
chronic killers that plague the West."

"...the health transition occurred gradually as
China became more prosperous: More people migrated
from farms into cities, physical activity decreased,
eating habits changed..."

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

USDA Bans Breastfeeding

Has USDA really banned breastfeeding? Of course not!
Not yet, anyway, but the marketing of cow's milk
formula to black women living in poverty results
in a racially unbalanced injustice. In a sense, USDA
is banning breastfeeding in subtle and subliminal ways.

According to a new GAO report, government promotions
of cow's milk-based infant formulas are responsible
for fewer and fewer women breastfeeding their infants.

GAO? Who and what is the GAO? GAO stands for
Government Accounting Office, America's secret
investigative police force. GAO looks into issues
raised by one or more members of Congress. GAO
acts more like Interpol or a mini-FBI than a
financial auditor, as its name suggests.

A relatively new investigation and report (GAO-06-282),
dated February 8, 2006, has been conducted at the
request of Robert Bennett, Herb Kohl, Henry Bonilla,
Rosa DeLauro, and Tom Harkin.

That report recognizes the benefits of breastfeeding
for infants, and concludes that the use of breastfeeding
would save the United States $3.6 billion in health
care costs.

GAO determined that breastfeeding rates are extremely
low among women who participate in USDA's special
subsidized Supplemental Nutrition Program for Women
and Children (WIC).

GAO concluded that the WIC logo inappropriately appears
on cow's milk infant formula packaging. GAO condemned
the current marketing practice of infant formula
manufacturers.

KEY FINDINGS:

WIC and non-WIC breastfeeding rates fall short of most
national goals, but rates were significantly lower
for WIC infants.

Infant formula marketing efforts use the trademarked
WIC acronym in promotional materials, despite the
fact that most states restrict such use.

Free formula samples given to mothers before the birth
of their children result in lower breastfeeding rates.

IS SUCH MARKETING RACIALLY MOTIVATED?

GAO concludes:

Infants were most likely to be breastfed if their mothers
were over age 20, college graduates, and married.

Infants least likely to be breastfed are African American.

Free food for people living in poverty results in more
disease for poor black infants. Breastfeeding protects
infants by offering human lactoferrins and immunoglobulins
which prevent disease. Pre-birth marketing of free samples
of WIC-labeled cow formula is a betrayal to these
children. Studies have shown that children who are not
breastfed have increased rates of disease when compared
to children who have been breastfed and lower IQs. An
intolerable multigenerational failure chain has resulted.
Is such a betrayal to children of color intentional?

For further information, contact David Bellis, the author
of this report:

bellisd@ gao.gov
415-904-2272

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Storing Tofu & Soybeans Under Your Bed

If USDA consumer alerts motivate you to action,
start storing those 12-ounce packages of Mori-Nu
tofu and dried soybeans under your bed. We're in
for a disaster of unprecedented proportions.

On March 13th, 2006, ABC television reported that
infected flocks of birds are carrying deadly Asian
flu virus. These diseased winged creatures, we are
told, are being tracked by American spy satelites.

Last weekend, Michael Leavitt, Secretary of Health and
Human Services (HHS), recommended that all Americans
begin to purchase and store cans of tuna fish and
powdered milk under their beds.

Even when scaring us, USDA mut continue to promote
milk. But...

Under our beds? That's where we keep our gold and
silver coins for the eventual collapse of civilization
as we know it. We've seen these kinds of panic tactics
before. Code Orange. Code Rainbow. In his insult to
American vegans, Secretary Leavitt offered no advice
to those of us who eat no animal products. I once left
a fresh apple under my bed for many months. It was not
a pretty sight.

After HHS's Leavitt spoke, USDA Secretary Michael Johanns
added his own words of wisdom:

"There's no way you can protect the United States by
building a big cage around it and preventing wild birds
from flying in and out."

Grab your umbrellas, folks. Don't touch whooping crane
feces dropped from 8,000 feet on their migratory flights.
When the swallows return to Capistrano this year, take my
advice: Don't swallow!

What does the National Chicken Council have to say?
Spokesman Richard Lobb lobbed this advice upon us:

"All the birds involved in it would be destroyed, and the
area would be isolated and quarantined. It would very much
be like a sort of military operation if it came to that."

The ABC news story included a worst-case scenario, reporting
that one chicken farm's infection might lead to half of all
Americans becoming infected with the flu within 90 days.
Does the ABC news report sound like a future made-for-TV
flick to you? Screenplay by Michal Creighton, taken from
a Stephen King short story, starring John Hammond (the
billionaire from Jurassic Park) as Colonel Sanders, a
chicken farmer, and Teri Hatcher, his desperate housewife.

Rumor has it that Burger King is designing a new ad campaign
in the event that hundreds of millions of America's fowl
are declared foul and have to be destroyed. We've heard
their new jingle and it works for us:

"Hold the chicken, hold the duck,
no birds for lunch, it does not suck...
Have it your way, have it your way,
with tofubirdgers, at Burger King."

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Notmilkman's Apology to Women

"What's the ugliest part of your body? Some say your
nose, and some say your toes, but I think it's your
mind." - Frances V. Zappa, 1972

This week, I wrote about a scientific journal that
was founded by America's dairy industry. The pro-milk
articles are heavily promoted and extremely biased.
I call that journal "the whore's journal." The headline
of my column was: "Comedy of the Whore's Journal."

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/notmilk/message/2303

Many readers reviewed the article and sent positive comments.
A few newspapers called. My column even resulted in a call
from a radio station and a live interview show.

In the past, I've written about scientists and professors,
judges and politicians who have sold their souls for
dairy dollars. I call these people whores too. As a matter
of fact, in each case, the whores I've written about have
been men. You see, men can also be called whores.

Sadly, one of my readers took great offense to my use of
the word "whore." I try not to use any of those offensive
words on George Carlin's top-ten list, but you'll find
the word "whore" in just about every dictionary. You'll
even find it in the King James version of the Bible. See:

"And the LORD said to Hosea, Go, take unto thee a wife of
whoredoms and children of whoredoms: for the land hath
committed great whoredom, departing from the LORD.
(Hosea 1:2).

I really insulted neither a man nor a woman. I insulted a
nation. The dairy nation. I insulted a journal. The Journal
of the American College of Nutrition (JACN). Yet, I insulted
at least one woman by use of that "w" word. I personally
find other "w" words infinitely more offensive. One is "war"
and the other is somebody's middle name...but in the interest
of self-preservation from additional angry letter writers,
I'll avoid further political commentary at this time...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brrngt32@ aol.com wrote:

"What an outrage.

I am a woman and totally resent your calling this a "Whore's
Journal." Isn't there enough abuse of womankind around the
world for you? As I am writing this, there are countless
millions of women being beaten or stoned to death or having
acid thrown on them, taken as hostages, kidnapped, circumcised
without anesthesia, raped, forced into slavery, made to wear
clothing which makes them invisible, being denied medical
treatment for a plethora of diseases not the least of which is
Aids, either for themselves or their children, being forced to
deliver children they do not wish "for myriads of reasons" all
by governments and men - and you, an otherwise decent and
educated man should demean us further with your poor choice of
phrasing.

And speaking of "whores" (a truly pejorative word if ever there
was one) has there ever been one woman on this planet who chose
prostitution when given a choice of other careers - as a
preferred lifestyle? I think not!

I refuse to read any word written by any patriarchal misogynist,
for what possible worth would your words carry when so tainted
by your view of women? As patriarchal misogynists are practically
by definition, cowards - I am quite sure you will not print this
and so, I must insist that you remove me from your elist.

Something, which is so ironic - not to mention telling in your
choice of this term is that the JACN historically speaking has
probably had few if any women in positions of power.

SHAME, SHAME, SHAME

Sign me a Woman
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Please, if you despise me, keep it to yourself. My ego is
growing more fragile by the moment. Let this be my apology
to all women for past and future crimes of one male's
clueless mind.

Robert Cohen
i4crob@...

Yesterday's Mad Cow Confirmation

Oh, she, came from Alabama with a Mad Cow
on her knee,
Don't eat her flesh or drink her milk, cause
she's got B-S-E...and you'll get C-J-D.

To make her milk, the udder captures white
cells from her blood,

So drink that milk, and eat that cheese,
You'll soon be chewing cud.
___________________________________________
Yesterday (March 13, 2006), USDA finally confirmed
a secret they've been keeping from Americans for
about a week. Just who is USDA protecting?

An Alabama cow has tested positive for Mad Cow
Disease. USDA has already destroyed her entire
herd, and has been working hard to destroy every
animal that she came into contact with.

Have you eaten dairy products in the Southern United
States lately? Some scientists say that once infected,
the incubation period can last anywhere from one
month to thirty years. As the human brain turns into
a sponge, this spongioform encephalitic condition
physically debilitates those so infected.

"A 24-year-old vegetarian has been diagnosed with
Cruetzfeld-Jacob disease (CJD). Scientists fear
that milk and cheese may be the source of infection."

London Times, August 23, 1997 Michael Hornsby

More on Mad Cow Disease:

http://www.notmilk.com/m.html

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Milk Helps You Lose Weight

Visit the following URL and check out
the attached photographs. They are classics.

http://ww1.mid-day.com/news/city/2006/march/132910.htm

Tiny Url: http://tinyurl.com/fvpzv

Here is the article:
__________________________________________________________

Baby Raj Patel of Mira Road, is just 19 months, but weighs
26 kilos — the average weight of a 10-year-old! His parents
say he could easily be one of the fattest kids in Gujarat.

"When we go to shop for his clothes, we ask for the 8-10
year age group," laughs his mother, Dimple.

Gushed Vasant Patel, his grandfather, who stays at Mira Road,
"We are trying our best to get him featured in TV commercials,
and we are almost there." His parents are eager to get their
heavyweight kid into advertising.

"The moment we strike a deal with an advertisement company
who will rope in Raj as a model, we will bring him to Mumbai,"
said the couple who live in Gujarat with Raj.

Born in Gujarat's Unjha village, Raj has been certified 'normal'
by child specialists in the state, who have ruled out hormonal
or metabolic disorders.

In fact, at birth, Raj weighed 3.75 kilos, which is well within
the 'normal' weight range of two to four kilos.

Said the boy's grandfather, "Raj's day begins by munching two
ghee-laden rotis with dal and a glass of milk. He then eats an
apple with another glass of milk in the evening. His dinner
includes khichdi with more milk."

Vasant added, "He drinks about 1.5 litres of milk daily. He also
gorges on chocolates from his many fans who find him terribly cute.
Vasant added that his diet — milk, butter, ghee-enriched — was the
main cause of his humongous weight."

Said Dr Ashok Rathod, head of department and professor, paediatrics,
JJ Hospital, "It's an unusual case. This baby was normal at the
time of birth, so 26 kilos at 19 months is very rare. The reason
behind such growth needs to be medically investigated."

Added Dr Samir Dalwai, a paediatrician, "Twenty-six kilo baby!
It's an extremely rare case and I wouldn't believe it unless
I see him myself. Health issues have to be examined."
__________________________________________________________

Milk helps you lose weight? Follow the American dairy
industry claim and you'll soon resemble baby Raj.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Comedy of the Whore's Journal

There are 250,000 journals on planet earth. Some
are quite good. Some are very bad. Some are
extremely biased. I rarely pay attention to the
heavily marketed studies published in the Journal
of the American College of Nutrition. This journal
was founded by and is controlled by America's Dairy
and Milk Industry. I refer to the JACN as the
"Whore's Journal."

The first president and director of that journal was
Dr. Greg Miller. I've debated Greg three times; twice on
radio and once on the Fox Health News channel. Greg has
milk flowing through his arteries and veins, and is one
of the most powerful men employed by the dairy industry.

Of course, JACN publishes biased milk studies, and has
the financial support of hundreds of millions of
dairy dollars. Which leads us to witness an enormous
surprise...

Funny thing happened on the way to the milk forum.

A few months before the dairy industry began to spread
their most notorious lie: Drinking milk results in weight
loss...

The Journal of the American College of Nutrition, (Vol. 24, No.
3, 210-216, 2005) reported the results of a most curious
weight loss study which compared soy milk consumption
to cow's milk consumption.

How could these dunderheads have blundered and allowed the
truth to be told? Beats me!

Scientists concluded that Soy milk use (over a 12-week period)
resulted in greater weight loss than than cow's milk use.

How about that!

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Dear Friends,

Every two years or so, a sophisticated hacker finds
a way to route a message through Yahoo's security
system. Today, you received an email that was posted
at 5:08 AM in Italy. In 2004, a series of messages
were posted to the Notmilk group from Bulgaria.

It is impossible for you to get a virus from such
messages. Yahoo's filters do not allow the
inclusion of files or attachments. Millions of
people were affected by the immature action of
one individual today, and I apologize for any
inconveneince that may have caused to you. Let me
assure that I am working closely with Yahoo to
prevent further incidents.

Respectfully,

Robert "Notmilkman" Cohen

Whale Vomit & Cow Feces = $

A beachcomber's stroll at the seashore can
result in a treasure more valuable than
sand dollars or beach glass. Very sick sperm
whales often regurgitate a waxy substance
called "Ambergris." The wholesale price of
this awful smelling substance is over $150 per
pound. (Sell it to Givaudan-Delawanna, Inc.
or Van Amerigen-Haebler, both in New York, N.Y.)

Find a 20 pound mass of ambergriss and you can
buy yourself a Holstein cow. Sell your ambergris
to a perfume company, and it will be processed
into an attractively aromatic substance meant
to tease the olfactory senses of human males.

Whale vomit? What's next, cow dung?

Apparently, yes.

Japanese scientists have patented a process of
extracting vanilla fragrance from cow poop.

Who woulda thunk?

The Japanese cuisine includes foods that would
be snubbed by those who manage to survive on the
standard American diet. Raw flounder. Sea urchin
guts, eels, raw squid tentacles, and now, cow poop.

I recently walked into the public men's room of
the Borgata hotel and casino in Atlantic City.
The odors were anything but pleasant. The Sekisui
Chemical company has turned feces into something
sweet and edible? Now, that's Japanese ingenuity!

The process of converting poop to a luscious fragrance
involves a heat pressure treatment, much the same way
that lumps of coal are turned into diamonds. Heaven
help those processors in the event of an industrial
accident. Will they come out smelling like roses, or...
oh, the thought is not very pleasant.

It's all true, though. When heating and pressurizing
cow poop, vanillin is created. Vanillin is a pleasantly
aromatic bouquet produced by the vanilla bean.

What's next? Vanilla ice cream flavored with the
essence of cow poop? It's all tautologically
scatological to me.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

I am shocked about your document!



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

A Dairy Farmer's Point of View

**********************************************
See how they run!
See how they run!
They all ran after the farmer's wife,
who cut off their tails with a carving knife!
**********************************************

Imagine being in a position in which you are forced to
sentence a healthy family pet to a painful and torturous
death so that a stranger might eat her flesh. I would suffer
nightmares for a very long time. Be certain that those who
are in this position are often challenged by such moral
dilemmas.

The art of warfare dictates that one should keep his enemy
close. I subscribe to Hoard's Dairyman, the national dairy
farm magazine in order to remain up to date on the latest
information from the milk industry. I recall a haunting
guest editorial in Hoard's (August 10, 2001).

Over the years, I have read this dairy farmer's opinion many
times. It reflects the way farmers think, and supports the
awful things they must do to stay in business.

We can feel the author's torment. We can touch the tears
on her face. We can see her eyes as she fights the thoughts
keeping her awake at night.

Through Hoards, one learns what dairy people strategize.
One reads the obituaries and discover that dairymen die at a
much younger age than the general population. Their rates of
cancer and heart disease are intolerably high. It is no
wonder. They drink their own product.

Dairy farmers are the hardest working people in America. For
generations, they have been praised for their work ethic in
bringing what many describe as nature's perfect food for
Americans. Some call that same food a deadly poison.

Dairymen hate me, for certain, for shattering their myth. I
love them, for sure, for that work ethic and that same set
of values which once made America strong.

Here is the column, written by a dairy farmer:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

THE PARADOX OF ANIMAL CARE
by Laurie Briggs, New York

"I was intrigued by the final line in the letter from Jean
W. Southack in the July issue, page 446.

Her opinion was presented as a moral absolute. 'Cows have a
right to keep full-length tails.' It's true, of course. Cows
have a right to keep full-length tails.

Cows also have a right to keep their horns and extra teats.
Cows have a right to breed naturally and to suckle their
offspring.

Cows have a right to graze and to follow ancestral migratory
routes when the seasons change. Cows have a right to old
age. These are moral absolutes that farmers have always
struggles with.

It is not the scope of our business but the nature of our
enterprise which defines us as dairy farmers. There are
certain parameters which apply to us all.

We are in this business to harvest and market milk.

We have to establish a routine of pregnancies and calvings
to maintain milk production.

There is no place in a dairy operation for bull calves.

An unproductive cow is sold for beef.

We have a small, family-run farm. When our cows are not
grazing, they are lolling in our tie stall barn equipped
with tunnel ventilation. Stalls are bedded with pine
shavings and lime for fly-free comfort. We use no pesticides
or herbicides.

All of our heifers are home-grown, with calves bottle-fed
whole milk 3x. Our cows have names, and we know their family
histories through the generations.

None of this entitles us to feel morally superior to factory
farms, for we are bound by the same universal truths. Our
family harvests and markets milk. We work diligently to
maintain a 12-month calving interval. We put bull calves on
the truck on market day. And, when one of our cows stops
producing milk, she is sold for beef even if she is a 13-
year-old cow named Jenny who gave us a fine string of heifer
calves.

All of us are confronted with the paradox; trying to
reconcile universal truths and moral absolutes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A one year subscription to Hoard's will cost you $16. I
receive an unbelievable return on my investment, with 12
monthly issues filled with insider information.

To subscribe to Hoard's, call 920-563-5551.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

The Ideal Job

Are you looking for a career change?

This is the most incredible opportunity I've
seen in the vegetarian movement. It requires
an enormous hands-on desire to work with
animals and teach school children on daily
tours of your little piece of Eden. Here is
the letter I received from the job-search team:

"My firm is conducting the search for the Executive
Director of Farm Sanctuary. It's a really important
position, based at their 178-acre farm in upstate New
York (or in NYC), working closely with the founder,
Gene Bauston, their Board of Directors, and about 50
staff in both NY and CA. Their budget is almost $5
million. They're looking for someone with strong
management skills and obviously a tremendous commitment
to their mission. Salary will be in the $80K to $90K range,
commensurate with experience.

The job description is attached. Feel free to forward it
around and I'd be grateful for any suggestions of either
candidates or referrals that you might have."

Thanks so much,
Liz Fanning, Associate
Harris Rand Lusk
551 Fifth Avenue, Suite 3300
New York, NY 10176
(212) 808-8111 - phone
(212) 808-8088 - fax
lfanning@...

*********************************************************
Farm Sanctuary's Website:

http://www.farmsanctuary.org

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

How Are Your Bowel Movements?

That question should always be included during a
physician's diagnostic examination.

I you answer "fine" and your bowel movements
are not fine, then you are only fooling yourself.

Sadly, most physicians do not ask such a question,
yet, bowel movements are the best indicator of how
well or not well an individual's digestive system
is working. As a matter of fact, good bowel
movements reflect the overall good health of
an individual, while bad bowel movements represent
sickness.

It is no coincidence that America's ability to
manufacture ice led to iceboxes in every kitchen
during then 1880s. With refrigeration, people were
able to preserve products that previously turned
rancid. It is also no coincidence that as the
consumption of dairy products increased, another
invention became a necessity: toilet paper.

Today, thirty million American women and ten million
American men have absolutely lousy bowel movements.
These forty million people seek medical treatment
for their irritable bowel syndrome. Many millions
more Americans seek out the softest toilet paper
possible. Please pass the Charmin.

In the best sense of "we are what we eat," 21st
century America probably has the worst bowel
movements since the founding fathers established
this nation.

During the 1880s, even before electricity and modern
day refrigerators, ice boxes filled many American
homes. With the advent of refrigeration, people
were able to preserve foods longer. Ice carriages
drawn by horse and carriage would deliver blocks
of ice to these ice boxes. Men with long prongs
would walk up flights of stairs with weekly
deliveries of ice to insure that most Americans
were able to refrigerate their food.

At about the same time, there was a drastic change
in the American diet. Consumers were now able
to turn perishable foods into storable leftovers.
Thanks to refrigeration, meat, chicken, eggs, and
dairy products could easily be stored before they
turned rancid.

At about the same time home refrigerators became the
rule and not the exception, necessity became the
mother of invention for another product, toilet paper.
Believe it or not, Americans were without such a
luxury before 1880. Americans, lacking the ability
to safely store mucus-forming dairy products, just
did not eat them. Ergo, there was really not the
dire need for toilet paper that dairy consumption
made necessary. In 1880, Walter J. Alcock invented
a way to put toilet paper on a roll, and before
1990, toilet paper dispensers were to be found in
most American homes.

Now, back to the 21st century. According to a report
released by the National Association for Continence,
which studies bathroom behavior, the average American
spends 55 minutes per day sitting on the toilet.

What is he or she doing in there for so long?

Having a lousy bowel movement, that's what.

"Incontinence is the inability of the
body to control the evacuative functions."

Somewhere in America, there are companies who delight in
our inclination towards irregularity.

Could this be Mr. Whipple's conspiracy? Does he want us to
keep squeezing the Charmin so that its softness eases the
irritable "evacuations" that plague most Americans?

Do the folks at Charmin and other toilet paper manufacturers
want us to have an easier time of it, and in doing so, spend
less time in the bathroom and use less toilet paper?
Probably not.

Dogs and cats eat dog and cat food. They have no problems
evacuating their bowels. We've seen 'em in the act and
sidestepped their firm healthy deposits on sidewalks.

Eighty percent of the protein in milk and dairy products
is casein, the same tenacious glue used to hold together
the wood in furniture.

Eat casein and one will produce histamines, then quarts
and quarts of goopy mucous. The mucous does not seep
through human pores. What goes in one end, goes out
the other.

The average American eats 666 pounds per year
of mucous-forming milk and dairy products.

That represents more than enough mucous and incontinence
to sink the continent of Atlantis. How does one discover
the lost continent and eliminate incontinence? By giving
up all milk and dairy. That's the first step towards
regularity.

Give up milk and dairy products for just one week. During
that time the average American will expel a gallon or more
of mucus. After just one week, you will no longer be
sitting on the toilet for 55 minutes like the average American.

Give up milk and dairy, and you'll be flush with good health.

There's only one thing keeping you from
being as regular as Kitty and Fido.
Give up the dairy, and you'll recapture
50 of those 55 minutes that are spent
on ceramic thrones paying tribute to
America's dairy industry.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Bad News for Soymilk Drinkers

Give soy bashers (some) credit.
Give Dr. Mercola (some) credit.
Give Sally Fallon (some) credit.
(Some) soymilks are bad for your digestion
and overall health.

The largest dairy processor in America (Dean Foods) owns
America's most popular brand of Soymilk (SILK) and that
should not be bad news, but it is. Why? They add a
dangerous substance to their SILK soymilk to make it
artificially silky and creamy. If you added Vaseline
petroleum jelly to your own homemade soymilk and
put it into a high speed blender, you might simulate
the creaminess and undigestability quotient of SILK
soymilk.

Some people might have no problem drinking a tall glass
of commercially prepared soymilk, containing sugar,
chocolate powder and carrageenan, a Vaseline-like food
additive. The Vaseline-like emulsifier often produces
gastric distress, and soymilk drinkers erroneously
conclude that they are "allergic" to soy.

Warning: Read labels. Do not consume carrageenan.

Carrageenan is a commonly used food additive that is
extracted from red seaweed by using powerful alkali
solvents. These solvents would remove the tissues
and skin from your hands as readily as would any acid.

Carrageenan is a thickening agent. It's the vegetarian
equivalent of casein, the same protein that is isolated
from milk and used to thicken foods. Casein is also
used to produce paints, and is the glue used to hold
a label to a bottle of beer.

Carrageenan is about as wholesome as monosodium glutamate
(MSG), which is extracted from rice, and can also be
considered natural. Aspartame (NutraPoison) is also natural,
as it is extracted from decayed plant matter that has been
underground for millions of years (oil). So too are many
other substances such as carrageenan that can also be
classified by FDA and USDA as wholesome and natural
food additives. Natural does not mean safe.

Carrageenan coats the insides of one's stomach, like
gooey honey or massage oil. Digestive problems often
ensue. Quite often, soy eaters or soymilk drinkers react
negatively to carrageenen, and blame their discomforting
stomachaches, headaches, and congestion on the soy.

High weight molecular carrageenans are considered to be safe,
and were given GRAS status (safe for human consumption) by
the FDA. Low weight carrageenans are considered to be
dangerous. Even the manufacturer of SILK admits this.

In order to get more information about carrageenan from
a scientist, I spoke with one of America carrageenan
experts, Joanne Tobacman, M.D. Dr. Tobacman teaches
clinical internal medicine at the University of Iowa
College of Medicine. I explained to Dr. Tobacman that
I rejected animal studies (we discussed valid concerns
about animal research, and why they never produce
reliable results for humans). I requested evidence of
human trials that might show carrageenan to be a
danger for human consumption.

Dr. Tobacman shared studies with me that demonstrate that
digestive enzymes and bacterial action convert high weight
carrageenans to dangerous low molecular weight carrageenans
and poligeenans in the human gut. These carrageenans
have been linked to various human cancers and digestive
disorders. Again, I remind you that Tobacman's evidence
and conclusions are based upon human tissue samples,
not animal studies.

I will cite additional information from four studies:

1) Filament Disassembly and Loss of Mammary Myoepithelial
Cells after Exposure to Carrageenan, Joanne Tobacman,
Cancer Research, 57, 2823-2826, July 15, 1997

2) Carrageenan-Induced Inclusions in Mammary Mycoepithelial
Cells, Joanne Tobacman, MD, and Katherine Walters, BS,
Cancer Detection and Prevention, 25(6): 520-526 (2001)

3) Consumption of Carrageenan and Other Water-soluble
Polymers Used as Food Additives and Incidence of
Mammary Carcinoma, J. K. Tobacman, R. B. Wallace, M. B.
Zimmerman, Medical Hypothesis (2001), 56(5), 589-598

4) Structural Studies on Carrageenan Derived Oligisaccharides,
Guangli Yu, Huashi Guan, Alexandra Ioanviciu, Sulthan
Sikkander, Charuwan Thanawiroon, Joanne Tobacman, Toshihiko
Toida, Robert Linhardt, Carbohydrate Research, 337 (2002),
433-440

In her 1997 publication (1), Tobacman studied the effect
of carrageenan on the growth of cultured human mammary
epithelial cells over a two week period. She found that
extremely low doses of carrageenan disrupted the internal
cellular architecture of healthy breast tissue, leading
her to conclude:

"The widely used food additive, carrageenan has
marked effects on the growth and characteristics
of human mammary myoepithelial cells in tissue
cultures at concentrations much less than those
frequently used in food products to improve
solubility."

Tobacman continued her work by exposing low concentrations
of carrageenan for short intervals to human breast tissue
(2), and observed pathological alterations in cellular
membranes and intracellular tissues. Tobacman wrote:

"These changes included prominence of membrane-
associated vesicles that coalesced to form unusual
petal-like arrays...and development of stacked
rigid-appearing inclusions in the lysosomes that
arose from the membranes of the petal-like arrays
and from smaller, dense spherical bodies that
formed clumps."

In reporting a historical perspective, Tobacman
revealed that carrageenan has been found to
destroy other human cells in tissue cultures,
including epithelial intestinal cells and
prostate cells. She concludes:

"The association between exposure to low
concentrations of carrageenan in tissue
culture and destruction of mammary
myoepithelial cells may be relevant to
the occurrance of invasive mammary
malignancy in vivo and provides another
approach to investigation of mammary
carcinoma."

Tobacman's third paper (3) explored the increased
incidence of mammary carcinoma to the increased
consumption of stabilizers and additives such as
guar gum, pectin, xanthan, and carrageenan. While
no relationship between the either above named
additives and cancer was observed, carrageenan
showed a strong positive.

Although high molecular weight carrageenans are
considered to be safe, Tobacman demonstrates that
low molecular weight carrageenans are carcinogenic.
She writes:

"Acid hydrolysis (digestion) leads to shortening
of the carrageenan polymer to the degraded form,
poligeenan. It is not unreasonable to speculate
that normal gastric acid...may act upon ingested
carrageenan and convert some of which is ingested
to the lower molecular weight poligeenan during
the actual process of digestion. Also, some
intestinal bacteria possess the enzyme
carrageenase that degrades carrageenan."

Tobacman's 2002 publication (4) proves her earlier
hypothesis. She writes:

"Mild-acid hydrolytic depolymerization of
carrageenan affords poligeenan, a mixture of
lower molecular weight polysaccharides and
oligosaccharide products."

Tobacman is currently preparing and characterizing
low molecular weight poligeenans (carcinogenic)
that have been extracted from human digestion
modalities. Her yet-to-be published data suggest
that carrageenans are dangerous for human consumption.

My advice: Read labels. If there is carrageenan
in a product, select an alternative.

The largest selling soymilk in America is SILK.
Do I pick on the industry leader? Darned right I
do. SILK sets the standard. You deserve to know the
truth. Just for the record, if and when SILK changes
their formula they will become my hero. In my
opinion, SILK tastes better than any of the
commercially available soymilks. Unfortunately,
consumers sacrifice good health for good taste.
That is not a fair trade, particularly for
our children.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

Dear Notmilkman,

Thank you so much for the daily e-mails that help to
keep our family on-track with a dairy-free diet. Here
are some of the improvements our seven family members
ages 17 months - 38 years old have experienced:

Facial eczema disappeared and less acne in preteen;

No more stomach aches/constipation pain;

Fiber pills not needed for husband with a hereditary/
defective colon;

Clearer thinking;

Less anger/mood swings (our preteen daughter admits she
feels happier & calmer inside and she made the
connection herself);

Low-flow toilets don't need to be plunged;

Weight loss (just 8 pounds for me but it's a start---next
is to add the daily exercise program);

Less cravings;

And our toddler who was "becoming severely autistic" has
continued to improve in all areas.

We have people who think we are "crazy" since we don't drink
or eat dairy products or foods with any milk alternative names.
We eat more fruits/veggies and have tried newrecipes including
homemade sushi and spring rolls tonight.

One huge disappointment yesterday happened after my toddler's
evaluation with the local school district for speech/language
and communication intervention. Some of the district special
education teachers attended an autism conference this week
(not sure who presented the material). These teachers were
told by the "experts" at the conference that there is no
scientific proof that elimination of dairy/gluten will help
children will autism.

Basically, the last five minutes of the evaluation I felt
like the speech evaluator and another special education
teacher were trying to tell me that after I took my
"extremely dairy-addicted" daughter off of all dairy that it
was by chance (or our imagination?) that she became more
talkative (going from grunting to full sentences at times),
her eye contact improved, less impulsive, cries when hurt since
she feel pain now (physically and emotionally), wants to be
affectionate & cuddled (I experienced carpal tunnel about 10
days from the date she didn't consume any dairy products due
to my arms not built up enough to carry a tall 37# toddler),
started playing pretend/make-believe, acknowledges/interacts/
consoles her baby sister, stopped having up to a dozen temper
tantrums that involved kicking or screaming, improved sleep
pattern at night (doesn't wake up at 1am and kick her wall
near her bed) and this list can go on with many more
improvements.

I found remarkably similar stories like our experience at
the GFCF Diet website which I mentioned to these teachers who
then stated to me "that you can get worked up and lose sleep
by reading information on the internet".

Yes, I agree that there is a lot of conflicting information
but my husband and I don't want to even think about the
"autistic state" our daughter would be in if we would have
kept her on dairy products. They also "shot down" the fact
that our whole family has seen and felt improvements by
eliminating dairy.

Many people have asked me if we have taken allergy tests
to prove that we are allergic to or shouldn't consume dairy...
so many people I know have had negative allergy tests yet
they have obvious symptoms after exposure to those allergens.
We (including extended family) saw a huge transformation in
our toddler that can't be attributed to maturity in just a
few weeks.

My toddler hugged me and told me she loved me on Dec. 7th
(just a month after taking her off of dairy) and kissed me
on Feb. 2nd. How many parents have these dates memorized?
I believe that I wouldn't have ever seen these emotions/acts
of affection if she was still consuming dairy products.

I am sure she will qualify for special education when she
turns 3 years-old this month but she is at a "teachable state"
now that she is off all dairy & gluten (although we haven't
seen a dramatic change with gluten eliminated) so we have lots
of hope for her. Maybe the teachers don't like that these
special needs kids are on special diets so they can't use M&M's
or other common junk food/candy for bribery...I mean "positive
reinforcement" when working with the children.

I have a master's degree in education and worked 6 years in the
public elementary classroom. It surprises me that a professional
would go to a conference and then take what that person said as
the gospel truth without research of their own...teachers are
known for following the teaching trends then abandoning them for
the next new idea or going back to their original teaching
approach or program.

Thanks again for your daily, informative e-mails.

Kim Currier & Family
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I imagine that other than the dairyman who enjoys the
cows and manure and the life that raising a family
on a dairy farm represents, most dairy employees,
the admen, the marketing folk, the scientists,
the professors, the middlemen, the processors,
the truckers, the clerks, the attorneys, the
accountants, the corporate execs, the co-op
personnel, are only in it for the money. Without
their dairy careers, there would be some other job.
Passion for their industry begins and ends with
a paycheck.

If you were to wonder why I work over 4,000 hours
per year with no financial benefit to myself or my
family, it is because of the preceding March 5, 2006
letter from Kim Currier. { kimkc@ verizon.net }
Kim's letter is my compensation.

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com

The Art of the Lie (2 Dozen Practical Perjuries)

"In our country the lie has become not just
a moral category but a pillar of the State."
-Alexander Solzhenitsyn
____________________________________________

"I never inhaled."
-Bill Clinton

"If you compare a dairy-rich versus a dairy-poor diet
you can nearly double the rate of weight and fat loss."
(See: MilkBurnsFat.com)
-Michael Zemel, PhD, professor of nutrition and medicine
at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville.

"Read my lips. No new taxes."
-George Bush I

"That was no mad cow."
-United States Department of Agriculture (USDA)
November 23, 2004

"The United States intends no military
intervention in Cuba."
-John Kennedy

"Simply drinking milk provides a simple and
effective treatment in premenstrual syndrome (PMS)."
-Dr. Susan Thys-Jacobs, M.D.
St. Luke's Roosevelt Hospital Center, New York

"We did not--repeat--did not trade weapons
or anything else for hostages--nor will we."
-Ronald Reagan

"Oak trees pollute more than dairy cows."
-Frank Mitloehner
University of California, Davis

"Your President is not a crook."
-Richard Nixon

"Drinking milk prevents breast cancer."
-Dr. Anette Hjartaker, University of Oslo

"The first atomic bomb was dropped on Hiroshima,
a military base. That was because we wished in
this first attack to avoid, in so far as possible,
the killing of civilians."
-Harry Truman

"Milk from cows given supplemental bovine somatotropin
(rbST) is the same as any other milk...Unfortunately,
a few fringe groups are using misleading statements
and blatant falsehoods as part of a long-running
campaign to scare consumers about a perfectly safe food."
-C. Everett Koop

"Iraq has weapons of mass destruction."
-George Bush II

"Consumption of cheese prevents colon cancer."
-Peter Holt, MD, Columbia University, New York

"Hostile actions against United States ships on the
high seas in the Gulf of Tonkin have today required
me to order the military forces of the United States
to take action..."
-Lyndon Johnson

"Income for individual farmers who use bST is likely
to increase...bST will lead to lower milk prices...
consumers will benefit because of lower milk prices...
no significant reduction of demand is expected to
result from bST use...bST is expected to have a
beneficial net income on the environment..."
-1993 White House Pre-Approval Report on Monsanto's
genetically engineered bovine growth hormone (bST)

"Enron is stronger than ever."
-Ken Lay

"Milk during childhood years helps build strong bones
and may prevent the risk of fractures and osteoporosis
later in life.
-Academy of Pediatrics

"I had nothing to do with Haliburton's Iraq contracts."
-Dick Cheney

"Drinking milk lowers blood pressre."
-Steffen & Pereira, American Journal of Clinical Nutrition

"I had a standing sell order..."
-Martha Stewart

"Fresh air, green grass and beautiful weather definitely
make California cows happy."
-California Dairy Industry Advertising Campaign

"I did not have sex with that woman."
-Bill Clinton

"Oh, that? It's just a milk mustache."
-Monica Lewinsky

Robert Cohen
http://www.notmilk.com