Dinner, Breakfast, & Living In The Real World

Last evening, I did not count calories. I cared
not about protein nor carbs or fat. I craved a
certain food for dinner, and just did it. I first
juiced three large oranges. I then added one very ripe
banana, 1 cup of freshly cut pineapple, and 1 crisp
macintosh apple (pits and core included) to my
VitaMix machine with some ice cubes. It took about
an hour to finish the smoothie, and I could imagine
tasting every live enzyme with each sip. I savored
my dinner.

As good as that was, today's breakfast is even more
satisfying. As I write this, I am sipping through a straw
the liquid contained within a new coconut. Unless you've
enjoyed the same, there is no uinderstanding its magic.
I purchase new coconuts from my Asian fruit and veggie vendor.
They last cost me $1.30 each, and are sold next to the durian.
The new coconuts are imported from Thailand, and it is said
that the constituents of the sweet juice so contained
resembles human blood. I call each new coconut breakfast
"my transfusion."

Yesterday, I wrote a column regarding PETA and Pita.
From hundreds of responses, dozens were quite critical
of my having offered a recipe for such an unhealthy food.

Too many calories. Too much fat. Too many carbs. Too much
protein.

In attempting to make life a bit more fun, I erred by
tempting the palates of those who could be tempted, and
stirring controversy among those who are above temptation
and quick to pass judgement.

So...having analyzed the ingredients for breatharians and
raw food vegans as well as many of the rest of us who try
really hard to be good most of the time, I now reveal the
components of my pita bread recipe which yields 16 pitas.

3 cups Heckers unbleached flour = 1,365 calories, 39 gms
protein, 3 grams fat, 286 gms carbs.

1 pkg Red Star yeast = 8 calories, 1 gm protein, 1 gm carbs.

1/2 tsp sugar = 8 calories, 2 gms carbs.

1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil = 955 calories. 108 gms fat.

TOTAL: 2,340 calories, 40 gms protein (7 percent),
111 gms fat 26 percent), 289 gms carbs (67 percent).

Each single pita bread contains about 146 calories,
2 grams of protein, 7 grams of fat, and 18 grams of carbs.

A poem for you all:

Little Jack Horner, sat in the corner, eating
his bowl of hummus.
He stuck in his thumb, and filled up his tumm...
and rawed (roared):
I wish I had pita, I'm a dumbass.

Robert Cohen
i4crob@...