Merhaba everybody,

 

I'm glad to say that I will do my best to help Victoria here in Bursa.  If we're part of this group, it's because we're "all in this together", right?

 

I was sorry to read that the advice that I gave Vicky when we met briefly through a mutual friend at Starbuck's several months ago wasn't enough to keep her from feeling "pushed" into the triple-test, then amnio, etc. (I said "watch out, girlfriend!"). We, as women, and as "patients", feel so powerless when faced with an "expert" in a white coat and a very worried-looking spouse (don't you agree, Kate and Hakan?), even if, as Vicky said, we consider ourselves to be very well informed.  We still get, or allow ourselves to get, the rough end of the stick!

 

Vicky, I'm really happy that you found this group and feel ready to reach out and know that you're not the only one who feels "this way"!

 

Take all the B.S. about what you can and cannot do for "first births" that we have been talking about recently.  Unfortunately, in my experience as a midwife, your first birth experience either sets you up to repeat the same pattern ("Even if it wasn't what I orginally wanted, the epidural was pretty comfortable in the end, I think I'll get it earlier next time!") or disgusts you so badly that you do a 180° turn ("Let's have a 'free birth', honey!").  It's not fair of us, as medical practicioners, to set up this "whatever you want for your 2nd birth" policy (especially in Turkey, which has a MASSIVE c-section rate and a "no VBAC rule"!).  I fought this kind of practice myself (and lost) when I found myself pregnant and new to Paris - and I REALLY should have known better!  Although, Hakan, I am sympathetic to the pressures of responsibility that doctors face.  It's the whole system that screws things up, I guess...

 

I'm telling you, Dr. Coker, you need to come and do a workshop in Bursa, please!  For all the women here who are interested in natural birth, not just expats.

 

Take care,

Elizabeth