Quoting Liz <elizangel69@...>:

> Let's say (because it's true) that I am a shopaholic. When I feel
> down about my life, I try to fill that emptiness with a new blouse or
> a pair of cute little boots. Before you go saying, "What a load of
> crappola, what kind of an addiction is that?", keep in mind that the
> addiction is not the use of the shopping.

It's not a load of crapola. I'm on the same page with you, here. Addiction
(of any kind) is not about the substance or behavior. People sometimes look at
me strange, but sometimes I'll invite a non-addicted (but otherwise struggling)
person to an NA meeting and tell them that "NA is not about drugs". And it
isn't.

> It is the impulse to
> perform the shopping in order to make me feel normal. That impulse is
> a part of me. Sure, I can choose whether I obey or disobey the
> impulse, but I cannot say that I am free of the addiction until the
> impulse no longer arises in response to the emptiness. I do not
> choose to need to shop; I only choose to shop.
>
> Until I accept this impulse as part of me (my automated response
> system) and understand it in the context of my feeling empty, I
> cannot be free of the impulse. My task is to examine the emptiness,
> decide whether the empty feeling is rational, and then begin to
> rebuild my perspective of my life from a rational point of view
> rather than through my previously irrational perspective.
>
> If I tackle my addiction from the other directions proposed here, I
> could say to myself, I know that I am a shopaholic. My addiction
> wants me to shop in order to fill the emptiness in my life. I am
> going to resist my urge to shop and I am going to fill this emptiness
> in a healthier way.

I'm a little confused here, though. It sounds like you are seeing two
different "directions" but I don't really see what difference you are trying to
illustrate. If anything, I think what you described as your first "direction"
sounds closer to the 12-step approach than the other "direction" that you seem
to think is the 12-step approach. Step one is about acceptance and surrender,
not resistance. What you describe as examining the emptiness and rebuilding
perspectives is what steps 4-12 are about.

People who come to NA hoping to hear how they can quit using drugs will be
slightly dissapointed. Stopping using is not the ultimate goal of NA: it is
the very beginning of recovery. First stop using, THEN we can get on with your
recovery and spiritual growth. (see recovery sound-byte #56: "First Things
First")

Lance