Fwd: Re: [nathaniel_branden] Is honesty always the best policy?
The bottom line of these things starts with the original agreement,
which would be that the couple has agreed to an exclusive relationship.
If that is broken, the damage is already done to both parties, whether
revealed, discovered, or still in the undercurrent. Damage starts on
inception. For the doer, that for some reason they broke the
agreement. Maybe they overpromised, maybe they didn't know themselves,
maybe the agreement was just not reasonable from the jump, and so on.
Or, maybe they did it out of malevolence that developed. Living the
lie. How living the lie affects the other.
If they are both doing it at once, it's still the same thing- no
honesty, no comfort, whether recognized or not, it's going to be
there.
About the best you can hope for is to have some moment where you just
try to do the right thing, and come totally clean. Keyword totally
clean. Understand what that means.
Sometimes, people will play games with themselves, and time the
announcement, and deliver it in some kind of way that shifts the
blame, the reason d' etre on the other person. Perhaps that is so, but
it still doesn't justify breaking the exclusive agreement.
If you cheat, it means you didn't walk your talk. Period.
... <amaranth7@p...> wrote: Allie, Two thoughts on your question. One is Would I want to know if my wife had an affair after promising me that I would be the...
The bottom line of these things starts with the original agreement, which would be that the couple has agreed to an exclusive relationship. If that is broken,...
Rich:If that is broken, the damage is already done to both parties, whether revealed, discovered, or still in the undercurrent Amen Rich! ... agreement, ... ...
... parties, ... I think I jumped past the what if involving the past (pre- establishment of the exclusive relationship). In that instance, I would hope that...
... I appreciate everyone's response on the topic, but I think with the exception of Mike Lee and Ken, nobody's answered the question :) And the question is,...
Allie, yes, I would like to know if my wife had an affair. Because I would not be afraid to know the reasons for her to have an affair. ... <rdengle@m...> ... ...
Hi Allie, I thought for a long time about this question. My gut reaction was that yes, I would definitely want to know. However, on thinking about it further,...
... When I was younger (in my 20s), I would have said yes. At the time, I believed honesty was the best policy in all circumstances, period. Now that I'm in my...
I will confess that I haven't had time to read many posts in this thread, so if I'm duplicating what others have said, please just consider it my vote, as...
... The whole point of telling a lie is to deny someone access to facts that you don't want them to have. I don't look at lying as inherently wrong anymore ...
Nathan: "If I had an affair, would I tell my spouse? Not necessarily. That would depend upon my own assessment of whether that knowledge would be beneficial or...
... Michael, I can see why you might raise that objection. But let's look at the world at it actually IS, not as we would wish it. Let us not, in rejecting the...
... I agree with Nathan. Maybe that's where empathy comes in. I would also like to boast a bit and say that Nathan did a lovely editing and formatting job for...
Nathan, I think you substantially mistunderstand my argument. Obviously, people are are different in intellectual ability, athletic ability, looks, etc. I...
... I disagree. I would define paternalism as a system which sees the state as parental with respect to ALL citizens. I would not call a government (or private...
Nathan: "I disagree. I would define paternalism as a system which sees the state as parental with respect to ALL citizens. I would not call a government (or...
... I've already told you how I'd define paternalism. And by that definition people or governments who choose to assist those with diminished capacity are not...
Nathan, Sigh. I'll try to keep this brief b/c this really becoming circular and unwieldy. Plus, you just keep repeating the same arguments over and over...
... Michael, debating with you feels like shooting pool with a rope. I told you I would not continue this discussion, and I will not, except to say that it's...
Nathan, Sigh. I'll try to keep this brief b/c this really becoming circular and unwieldy. Plus, you just keep repeating the same arguments over and over...
My attention was recently called to a critique of NB's "The Benefits and Hazards of the Philosophy of Ayn Rand." Although the author did not mention this...
... Good question, Michael. The answer, I think, lies in the degree to which these experiences are purely subjective (and therefore could not presently be...
In a message dated 10/15/2005 6:56:11 PM Pacific Standard Time, ... I have the immpression from your remarks that you have never read any of the serious...
... A reader might get a preview or overview of the subject on http://www.stephanaschwartz.com/distant_healing_biblio.htm which has some remarkable claims. I'm...
NB, Well, maybe your assumption that my knowledge of the subject consists solely of "Flim-Flam" and therefore lacks "seriousness" is innaccurate. You...
... Why should that "disturb" you? In an Objectivist context, I find Nathaniel's willingness to encourage an open mind about unusual claims rather courageous. ...
Nathan: "Well, Michael, the man plainly said he didn't want to debate it, yet here you are ragging on him for not debating it or pursuing the subject to your...
Michael and Nathan, Please take a time out from responding to each other on this group. If you feel the need to continue this "discussion," do so via private ...
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