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What is Infantilism?



Revision [N/A] July 31, 2002
Revision [A] August 3, 2002
Revision [B] August 7, 2002


There is remarkably little information on this subject. For this
reason it may be helpful to establish a criteria to recognize
infantilism.

The onset of infantilism is marked by earliest of memories
fantasizing of regressive dependencies. Usually always during early
childhood & youth the individual believes they are isolated and
alone with these regressive desires, and that no one else in the
world is like them. These individuals for the most part keep their
pervasive symptoms of needing to act-out the regression hidden from
family, friends and significant others. A common theme revolves
around wearing diapers, which in most cases will give rise toward a
role-identification of an infantile personality. Over time the
behavior in most all cases will expand to include other infantile
objects such as pacifiers, baby blankets, baby bottles and soft
stuffed figures.



Transitional Object vs. Fetish

A person may view true infantilism mistakenly for a fetish. There
is a stark difference since the desire for the object occurred
before puberty [2,4,5]. For example, the diaper may be regarded as
a symbolic formation to ward of insecurities [4] and becomes a
transitional object for a child [6]. In strivings toward
independence personality fragments may fuse with objects that
represent nurturing [7]. It appears to provide a sense of control
for the child to revisit a period that is widely accepted in our
culture as nurturing. The energized transitional object offers
relief from separation anxieties from the maternal figure and/or
provides a sense of recreation of a period lost in grief.



The Abuse Connection

In some instances when abuse or neglect has traumatized a child [1],
the small child may identify with toddlers in neighboring families
and yearn for the same infantile attention. The child may secretly
wish to exchange places and experience being diapered, cuddled, fed
and nurtured as a renewed experience from a failed situation [8].
The observance of the attentive maternal figure construes as
representation for the unconditional love longed for in a healthy
environment. This longing may become fixated in the individual's
core developmental structures [3] since it provided a coping
mechanism in absent of the good-enough mother. In essence, the
fantasy of receiving infantile attention helped the child survive
and to emotionally refuel during a chaotic period. In most case
these mechanisms will continue to manifest by way of recurring
infantile fantasies through out the life cycle of the individual.



The Libidinous Component

As the infantile child moves through the latency period into
adolescence, it is not uncommon for the transitional objects to
remain with greater influence. After all, the infantile fantasy has
been repeated many times along with its vicissitudes and is now
firmly imprinted into the psychopathic structure. In some
individuals, once libidinous gratification is augmented and
integrated with the existing infantile fantasy, a new association
emerges. The existing fantasy that provided a cathexis for
emotional refueling is now set into motion with the more satisfying
libido component. Essentially, the pre-libidinous transitional
object takes on a new dynamic to relieve anxieties and to satisfy
cognitive patterns set in childhood. It is not unreasonable to
conclude that the fantasies imbued with the transitional object will
become more concretized when intermittently connected to the libido
drives.



Fragmentation and a Continuous Sense of Self

It is not uncommon for the infantile individual to become despondent
from impinging feelings of guilt. After all, they may think that
children do grow up one day and they have failed miserably.

Some infantile individuals tend to look at life as `all or nothing'
terms. Either I am all regressed and unable to function, or, I am
all grownup and must purge all the transitional objects. This
thinking is much like a toddler uses in the defense
of `splitting'[5]. A toddler relates to the world in all or nothing
terms..i.e.."I love Mommy" or "I hate Mommy." A toddler is unable
to tolerate conflict or ambivalence and becomes unmanageable at
times with temper tantrums since the anxiety is too overwhelming
[5]. In succinct, the infantile individual that is either engulfed
with regression or defiant of infantile longings is behaving age
appropriately with the toddler.

More desirable and since regression is an enduring imprint, it
cannot be ignored. To bring infantile wishes in harmony with a
higher level functioning, a comprise must be reached. This
understanding of one's complexities gives way to a more continuous
sense-of-self.



Dependency vs. Nurturing

Most infantile individuals incorporate a maternal figure into the
childhood fantasy. This becomes a problem since to achieve a
realistic experience the individual may seek out a mother figure and
become depressed in her absence. It is for this reason I would like
to point out a compelling difference between dependency and
nurturing.

Dependency engenders neediness [3] and a notion that one cannot be
nurtured without the presence of another individual. This is a
false assumption that may lead to desperation. A belief that
infantile expressions can never be meaningful unless dependent other
others can be catastrophic. Dependency creates a dependency on
others for happiness.

The infantile individual can nurture themselves with the advantage
and use of transitional objects. The individual can simply be
himself or herself and find happiness in being alive and able to
experience regressive nurturing introspectively. An acceptance of
self is the most nurturing aspect of life.



A Helpful Analogy

I'll concrete this a bit further. Transitional Objects, a term
coined by Winnicott, is an object of attachment that the infant uses
to provide relief. In true infantilism, a diaper is a transitional
object from `earliest' memories….and holds a primary meaning of
comfort and nurturing rather then a secondary sexual object.

This analogy may help to clarify true infantilism. A transvestite
wears women's clothing for sexual gratification, and clearly a
fetish. On the other hand a transsexual wears women's clothing from
the desire to `become' a woman and some cases with SRS the
transformation is complete, and this is not a fetish for a
transsexual. I see true infantilism as more connected to the
transsexual aspect of this analogy. In essence, for the true
infantile individual, a diaper is not a fetish but rather a
Transitional Object with it's origins in early childhood.



Therapy and Treatment

There is no known cure for true infantilism. Its patterns and
deliveries to satisfy infantile longings are set firmly into place.
It appears to become problematic when situations place an emphasis
for disclosure…i.e. getting engaged or getting married. The
infantilized individual grapples for a decision because fears of
ashamedness, rejection, abandonment and exploitation are commonly
associated with past developmental struggles in childhood. It
brings to surface a terrifying risk that the new partner or family
member will misunderstand and take the position it is a bizarre
perverted derangement and action to crush the behavior is
paramount.

As stated, there is no known cure and treatment toward self-
acceptance and individuality may ameliorate destructive wishes and
behavior. Acceptance may resolve self-hatred and command the
unrelenting forces of the cultural inner critic to subside. Since
the personality is fused with the nurturing transitional object, in
would not be therapeutic to destroy, purge, annihilate or defeat the
mechanism that has provided some emotional stability for the
individual. It would equate to most as wiping out the inner child.

One treatment modality may be applicable. A healthy balance is to be
encouraged to help an individual from completely giving in to
regressive behaviors. Introduce exercises to limit the fantasies to
diminish pervasive regressive behavior since engulfment may create a
larger abyss that is not grounded in reality.



Conclusion

I don't see how a therapist can help with regression, at least from
my experience.....UNLESS, the therapist is there to help with self-
acceptance and validation. Once one can accept self, then the
forces are not so relentless......it brings a feeling of.....I am
okay....I am a unique individual and it is okay to be me. If you
can accept that, then life becomes more rewarding, and that inner
child becomes loved. Each needs their own time. One should not
starve the other, or put guilt on the other.....you are what you are.

Written by Kathi Stringer and may be reproduced for personal use
with credits attached.

Ref

1. Letter from Bruno Bettelheim 1978

2. The Transitional Space / Peter Giovacchini (p.28,80,81)

3. Prisoners of Childhood / Alice Miller (p.23,24,54)

4. Separation-Individuation / Margaret Mahler (p.108,157,171)

5. The Psychological Birth of the Human Infant / Mahler, Pine,
Bergman (p.77,82,84,155)

6. Object Relations Individual Therapy / Scharff & Scharff (p.58)

7. The Facilitating Partnership / Applegate & Bonovitz (p.159)

8. The Language of Winnicott / Jan Abram (p.251)



Written by Kathi Stringer © All Rights Reserved July 31, 2002



Last Updated on Thursday, August 08, 2002