Thanks to everyone who responded to me via emails and posts to the
group. The amount of responses have been overwhelming. I've gone
through quite the self discovery since having stumbled across
Caroline Myss' website, obtaining her materials on Entering the
Castle and discovering this group for support and additional growth.
Your collective advice has helped me more than you know. I am able
to enter my castle now and ready for God to direct my life in
whatever service he needs me. I feel a strange peace.

May God bless each of you.





--- In mysslist@yahoogroups.com, "vmproctor1969" <ashyra@...> wrote:
>
> First I would like to say thank you for providing this group as an
> outlet for those like myself who have stumbled across a very
powerful
> and overwhelming path to enlightenment.
>
> In the video, Caroline asks what we want from God. For me, it's
> acceptance and although the logical part of me says to just trust
in
> and accept the fact that God accepts me, everything in my nature
> speaks differently because acceptance is the one thing I've needed
> the worst throughout my life and had the least of.
>
> Where a child usually becomes a product of their environment, I
never
> did and this was the very heart of my dysfunction with my family
and
> remains to be to this day. I was born a mystic and my differences
> made me the black sheep. I grew up being told I was crazy and the
> things that were happening to me weren't really happening, I was
> overly sensative, not ambitious enough, incompetent and was
> repeatedly told children were to be seen and not heard. For years
I
> was hurt and then I began to believe in it and I became angry. I
did
> somethings which I was sure angered God and the guilt ate at me for
> years, totally convinced God was punishing me at every turn for a
> mistake I could never undo, I drifted further and further away from
> God. Heart breaks piled up, pain became increasingly unbearable
and
> one day I shattered and what I've managed to put back together
feels
> abstract and distorted. I am a hermit within my home, mentally
> disabled, I have no true friends to speak of and a very limited
> family. Even my eldest child has nothing to do with me. I feel
> deeply ashamed of who I've become and of all my failures in life.
I
> feel unworthy of even a mortal man, much less God himself.
>
> As I write this, I am reminded of Caroline saying the "I" is what
> gets dismantled. I feel guilty for using the word and embarrassed
> for admitting my struggle, but I have a major hurtle to get past
> before I can begin to "feel completely surrounded by the love of
> God".
>
> How does one get beyond feeling unworthy and unforgivable?
>