Dear Sue,

You and I apparently are going through an interesting time as in the past few
weeks I have felt that my time with CM was growing short and I felt that there
was a commercialization of something SACRED to me that I was not feeling
comfortable with being involved with. It is funny as a few months ago I swear I
clearly heard a "QUIT reading all the books and LIVE". I would love to talk with
you off list if you are available.

I as you, stated learn a lot from the PEOPLE on the list and it has turned for
me into more of a meeting with people on "paths" than a CM list. You have done
SO MUCH ad moderator and I would like to say THANK YOU for it has been due to
you that I have been able to read so many posts that I have learned from. It is
HARD work and I am sorry that Caroline could not have taken a few moments of her
"time". Even if she had looked at it from a marketing (background here)
standpoint, WE are the ones who buy her tools and as a Moderator, keeping a list
going this long and all that the task involves- YOU have made her a LOT of
money, I would be willing to bet. A shame.

You know Sue, I would like to thank you for the guts it took to get on here
today and tell the truth about your experience and what you felt and are
feeling. I know it was not easy and I admire the honesty and the conviction. I
APPLAUD YOU---you are walking your path with integrity.

As I said I would love to talk to you off list. I am not leaving, though without
you the list may leave me because of the people that I read a post from or
something that is said that just feels right. As I said - long ago it became not
a CM list to me but just another learning tool and a way of meeting people with
similar needs and likes.

Again, thank you Sue. There is a Hawaiian word "PONO" which means "all is as it
should be". I love the word and I believe that after reading your post you are
indeed in the state of "PONO". Do hope you will pop in once in a while just to
say hi to those of us who have learned and valued you for so long. As for me- I
am gonna miss the hell out of ya'.

Aloha and Mahalo Nui Loa,
Carol
----- Original Message -----
From: suephipps@...
To: mysslist@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Saturday, December 02, 2006 1:32 PM
Subject: Re: CM leaving the toxic family/Leaving the mysslist


Some people need to leave toxic tribes. I need to leave the mysslist, not
because anyone here is toxic, rather, you have all been delightful teachers.
However, for me, not only has my time and attention been drawn away from the
group, Caroline has been cast in a new light and I simply choose to move on.

Last night following the Channeling Grace evening event, I engaged in an brief
encounter with Caroline that I found extremely offensive. I debated about
returning today. Then I reflected on the gracefilled massage I'd received prior
to the event, ultimately determining that everyone deserves a bad moment.

Today, though I did find a lot of processing going on in the mansion, it was
all dedicated towards more primitive levels of work which assumed a raw
ignorance about the audience. I certainly I didn't find any of the Grace that
one might expect to find at a conference by the same title. She responded to a
question that led to a politcal lecture ala Caroline drawing away from the whole
process and displaying her own anger and rage with the current situation.

After attending the day long workshop, I've come to the realization that her
comical humor has lost it's flavor in light of her know-it-all arrogance. By the
end of the day, I saw very little parallel between my perception of St. Therese'
grace and mystical union with God and Caroline's, though she intimates that she
wrote it in conjunction St. Therese' invoking her through intense reading and
prayer.

Following was a book signing.in which I made a rather simple request and made
a joking reference to the role of mysslist moderator. She muttered in response,
"I already wrote the book and I'm not writing another" then totally ignored an
opportunity to personally acknowledge a difficult role, though I observed her
finding time for many ego massaging distractions. Alas, Self-Importance is an
unwieldy sword. Needless to say I will not be attending the final segment
tomorrow, I've requested a rebate on the CD of the conference for which I'd
prepaid and my Sacred Contracts book is going into the trash heap.

There is a saying that you may not get what you asked for but you always get
what you need. And, so it is!

Over the intervening years since first becoming moderator, like Caroline, I
too have grown but in a very opposite direction far far away from the 'noose to
produce' that strangles her. In my own search, I am moving closer and closer to
the model that says, throw out the library ... (the archetypes games etc.) it
only distracts me from knowing God. Alas, I do know that Caroline's work, like
Bradshaw's inner child work, serves a purpose for many people. It just no longer
serves a purpose for me. I am not ungrateful for the lessons learned, I just
know it is time for me to move on. It's important to know when your work is done
and not get stuck following the guru who is genuinely doing their mission. For
me, the time has clearly come to move on and focus on LOVE/God/Goddess actively
moving in this world.

Much love to all of you, your voices will be missed.

Namaste, Susan

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