MIke, for several months now my wife has been mostly
just one or two alters that I can tell.  She goies
away for several days at a time and never contacts me
or the kids.  its hard on them/  then she reappears on
puts on a supermom act.  yes, seh refuses all help.
but my boys and I are in therapy.  both my therapist
the boys' are conviced my ex is DID and I think the
evidence is conclusive now.  I saw a lot of drug use
for a while and we had scary calls from dealers to the
house for a bit but that seems to have gone away.

I think I was like you, lived with switching but never
knew it until things became extreme.  frankly, at
times I wish she would just melt down or become so
extremem that something had to be done.  its hard on
the kids and I to be caught in limbo like this.  Im
just surprised she is able to play the mom rool as
long as she has been withouth switching out around the
kids.  time will tell.

is your wife loving towards you now?  what is live
life like and how are your kids about things now?


cheers,


john

__________________________________
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Yahoo! Search - Find what you’re looking for faster
http://search.yahoo.com

Hi Matt, No proublem sharing. I'll try to answer your questions in
order.For the last 10 years my wife has been in therapy. for the
last 7 we have had a house guest who also is DID. When things get
rockey the two  can help each other. About our first 5 years, Yes
there were alters. I was just unaware, If I had been we would not
have had children. It was very hard on them. My wife was diagnosed
10 yrs ago approx. The kids were raised by then. I think our
fighting and her mood changes were hard on them. They were taken
good care of otherwise. Yes my wife has teenage alters. One is a
hand full, Smokes-drinks- and is bi-sexual.could write a book on
that one.lol. You say your wife won't go to therapy! You and your
children could benefit from it.
Good luck,
Mike--- In mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com, John McPherson
<slimpoint@y...> wrote:
> Mike, thanks for dropping me a line.  wha has become
> of your wife? was she consistently one alter for 5
> years?  no switching at all? and how have things been
> for your kids?
>
> this is a nightmare.  we had 10 great years, 3 good,
> then craziness the last few.  I still have a tough
> time absorbing this all, how the person I love could
> disappear inside her own body.  worry abbout my kids
> ll the time, bit dont know what I can do at this
> point.  she is doing ok taking care of them when she
> has them.  did your wife have an lesbian behavior?
> that was a big issue here a lot of acting out, that
> others here have suggested was a teenage alter. angry
> and rebellious, listenedto hip hop music all the time,
> obsessed with how she looked.  its just all so
> bizarre.
> ]
> Id like to hear more about your story of you care to
> share it.
>
> cheers,
>
>
> matt
>
> __________________________________
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Search - Find what you're looking for faster
> http://search.yahoo.com

Mike, thanks for dropping me a line.  wha has become
of your wife? was she consistently one alter for 5
years?  no switching at all? and how have things been
for your kids?

this is a nightmare.  we had 10 great years, 3 good,
then craziness the last few.  I still have a tough
time absorbing this all, how the person I love could
disappear inside her own body.  worry abbout my kids
ll the time, bit dont know what I can do at this
point.  she is doing ok taking care of them when she
has them.  did your wife have an lesbian behavior?
that was a big issue here a lot of acting out, that
others here have suggested was a teenage alter. angry
and rebellious, listenedto hip hop music all the time,
obsessed with how she looked.  its just all so
bizarre.
]
Id like to hear more about your story of you care to
share it.

cheers,


matt

__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Search - Find what you’re looking for faster
http://search.yahoo.com

I married an alter but of course did't know it for many years.we
were very happy for about 5 yrs untill the body became pregnant.
then she went inside..pure hell for years untill a bad trama brought
her dissorder to light. I'am now the daddy to a lot of kids.
Your Ex with out care might become self-distructive, but that
happens even with help. Good luck to you and your children. It can
be a wild ride.
Mike-- In mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com, graham@i... wrote:
>
> I have a DID girlfriend. She has 4 altars. If therapy is not an
option and you
> are in any way able. Love all of her altars. Reject no one. Accept
them all and
> hopefully they will accept themselves.
>
>
> Quoting catoga83 <slimpoint@y...>:
>
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > My wife and I had a wonderful marriage for many many years. 
> >
> > But over the last several she became increasingly irritable. 
Then
> >
> > a few years ago I began to see extreme episodes of amnesia in
> >
> > her, drastic changes in mood, outlook, demeanor, dress and
> >
> > mannerisms.  She eventually became paranoid delusional that
> >
> > friends were trying to kill her/us, she disappeared from our
family
> >
> > often and ultimately came to believe that I too was trying to
kill
> >
> > her.  No amount of persuasion could get her to feel otherwise.
> >
> >
> >
> > In the end, she divorced me out of fear that I was trying to
harm
> >
> > her. I have never even raised my voice at her and would run
> >
> > through flames to save her.  She had no basis for her fear at
all,
> >
> > other then something deep in her past.
> >
> >
> >
> > Im wondering if anyone else out there has lost their spouse to
> >
> > MPD.  The pain that myself and my children have gone through
is
> >
> > indescribable, and Im sure my ex is in horrific pain as well,
> >
> > though she shows no emotions whatsoever and refuses all
> >
> > therapy or suggestion of treatment.
> >
> >
> >
> > She now lives alone, has few friends, does not work and seems
> >
> > to be just impoding.  It is horrible to sit by helpless and
watch her
> >
> > spiral down.
> >
> >
> >
> > What becomes of someone with DID who never gets treated? 
> >
> > Where does this go?  Was the person I married and loved and
> >
> > alter, or a whole person who is now fractured into many alters?
> >
> > Can I expect any reason to hold out hope for this situation that
I
> >
> > might ever see "her" again?
> >
> >
> >
> > any advice or insight that can be offered would be greatly
> >
> > appreciated.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > Yahoo! Groups Links
> >
> >
> > To visit your group on the web, go to:
> > http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mpdspouses/
> >  
> > To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> > mpdspouses-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
> >  
> > Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >

Hello to group members.
My name is Mike and live with two DID people. My wife and our
friend, who we met while my wife was being treated as a inpatient.
also a daughter who lives alone but keeps in good contact. we have
been married for 38 years and she has been diagnosed for about 13
years. In our house we have at least a 100 alter's Mostly children.
I will respond if there our any questions.

Mike

I have a DID girlfriend. She has 4 altars. If therapy is not an option and you
are in any way able. Love all of her altars. Reject no one. Accept them all and
hopefully they will accept themselves.


Quoting catoga83 <slimpoint@...>:

>
>
>
>
> My wife and I had a wonderful marriage for many many years. 
>
> But over the last several she became increasingly irritable.  Then
>
> a few years ago I began to see extreme episodes of amnesia in
>
> her, drastic changes in mood, outlook, demeanor, dress and
>
> mannerisms.  She eventually became paranoid delusional that
>
> friends were trying to kill her/us, she disappeared from our family
>
> often and ultimately came to believe that I too was trying to kill
>
> her.  No amount of persuasion could get her to feel otherwise.
>
>
>
> In the end, she divorced me out of fear that I was trying to harm
>
> her. I have never even raised my voice at her and would run
>
> through flames to save her.  She had no basis for her fear at all,
>
> other then something deep in her past.
>
>
>
> Im wondering if anyone else out there has lost their spouse to
>
> MPD.  The pain that myself and my children have gone through is
>
> indescribable, and Im sure my ex is in horrific pain as well,
>
> though she shows no emotions whatsoever and refuses all
>
> therapy or suggestion of treatment.
>
>
>
> She now lives alone, has few friends, does not work and seems
>
> to be just impoding.  It is horrible to sit by helpless and watch her
>
> spiral down.
>
>
>
> What becomes of someone with DID who never gets treated? 
>
> Where does this go?  Was the person I married and loved and
>
> alter, or a whole person who is now fractured into many alters?
>
> Can I expect any reason to hold out hope for this situation that I
>
> might ever see "her" again?
>
>
>
> any advice or insight that can be offered would be greatly
>
> appreciated.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
> To visit your group on the web, go to:
> http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mpdspouses/
>  
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> mpdspouses-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>  
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

My wife and I had a wonderful marriage for many many years.
But over the last several she became increasingly irritable.  Then
a few years ago I began to see extreme episodes of amnesia in
her, drastic changes in mood, outlook, demeanor, dress and
mannerisms.  She eventually became paranoid delusional that
friends were trying to kill her/us, she disappeared from our family
often and ultimately came to believe that I too was trying to kill
her.  No amount of persuasion could get her to feel otherwise.

In the end, she divorced me out of fear that I was trying to harm
her. I have never even raised my voice at her and would run
through flames to save her.  She had no basis for her fear at all,
other then something deep in her past.

Im wondering if anyone else out there has lost their spouse to
MPD.  The pain that myself and my children have gone through is
indescribable, and Im sure my ex is in horrific pain as well,
though she shows no emotions whatsoever and refuses all
therapy or suggestion of treatment.

She now lives alone, has few friends, does not work and seems
to be just impoding.  It is horrible to sit by helpless and watch her
spiral down.

What becomes of someone with DID who never gets treated?
Where does this go?  Was the person I married and loved and
alter, or a whole person who is now fractured into many alters?
Can I expect any reason to hold out hope for this situation that I
might ever see "her" again?

any advice or insight that can be offered would be greatly
appreciated.

Thanks so much for your response back to the questions. Then I think my husband
is almost through all of his alters and is almost completely done with all the
hell of his passed family hell. That means that there really is hope everyone.
Just keep getting through the storm and the calm will follow not to far behind.
Love all and hope all are doing well in this message board. Bye for now!


                         Sincerely,
                         Elizabeth






---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Finance: Get your refund fast by filing online

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

--- In mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com, reecemarie50 <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> How do you know when there are no more alters to discover?


Well, it can be hard to know for sure.  Not infrequently someone goes
through therapy and achieves integration only to discover other
alters that were previously unknown.  But you can assume that there
are no more alters when there's no missing time and no missing
memories and when no new alters can be elicited through hypnosis.

(And yes, I'm still here. I just haven't posted in a while.
Hopefully I'll be more active from now on.)

Peace,

Sufia

Yeah, I agree how is someone suppose to know when you
have gone through all the alters?

                       Signed,
                  Curious to know myself






__________________________________
Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Finance: Get your refund fast by filing online.
http://taxes.yahoo.com/filing.html

How do you know when there are no more alters to discover?

Although I generally agree that you should be encouraged to communicated with
all her parts, I think that in a hospital situation it may be an exception. My
suggestion is to talk to her T about how you feel and work with her to support
your SO.

George

  -----Original Message-----
From: deannaterrell@... [mailto:deannaterrell@...]
Sent: Tuesday, February 03, 2004 11:24 AM
To: mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [MPD Spouses] Digest Number 98



My SO is in a hospital with a very prestigious DID unit.  Her doctor and
therapists tell her that her parts should not communicate with anyone but her
except in a therapy setting.  They say that if her parts wish to communicate
with me, they have to go through her.  She is supposed to be in charge of her
parts and aware of what they do.  It is hard for her sometimes, but she is
trying to develop a good and trusting relationship with all her parts so that
she can handle things instead of allowing them to control her.

>
> From: mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com
> Date: 2004/02/03 Tue AM 05:16:33 GMT
> To: mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [MPD Spouses] Digest Number 98
>
>
> There is 1 message in this issue.
>
> Topics in this digest:
>
>       1. Re: Feeling guilty
>            From: "cutewideeyedhobbitgirl" <cutewideeyedhobbitgirl@...>
>
>
> ________________________________________________________________________
> ________________________________________________________________________
>
> Message: 1
>    Date: Mon, 02 Feb 2004 18:21:13 -0000
>    From: "cutewideeyedhobbitgirl" <cutewideeyedhobbitgirl@...>
> Subject: Re: Feeling guilty
>
> I am a SO that had to deal with that same feeling when I first started
> talking,interacting with,and understanding my partners alters sides of
> things. How they look at things and how they feel and why. Whomever
> told you in that chatroom to stop is wrong. In fact you should find
> out more about your partners alters. That way you know and you should
> tell your partner that has the mpd to tell them what things you have
> found out. I first thought if I told my partner about his alters and
> what they did and what things they were into that it would make it
> worse. Well it doesn't. In fact it will help you and your partner
> figure out what happens (specially your partner whom has the mpd) when
> she starts mpding. Your partner should get help and should be on a
> medication that will help her while she is going through these hard
> memories. My husband took meds and I was thankful he did while he was
> going through his hard memories. We had to stop going to the therapist
> that he was going to because she wasn't helping much and making it
> worse as well as her husband lost his job and found a new one in Utah.
> So it was good riddens to bad rubbish for us. I say really look into
> your wives therapists. Where they went to get there education. What
> kind of degree they have. Even look into the school they went to to
> find out what your therapist really is like. There are to many bad
> therapists out there and that's only because us people that go aren't
> banning together to fight the Senate to ban bad therapist from working
> ever in this perfession without a proper education and without actual
> experiance in the field that they work. In fact we as the SO's that
> live with people that have this disorder have more education and
> experiance in the field than they do and should be the ones that help
> people like that. That's my feeling on it. And anyone misusing and
> corrupting the system should be put in prison and their lincenses
> taken away permittely.
>
>   As for feeling unfortable sharing your partner with these alters. I
> felt myself like I was cheating on my husband because I was just
> getting to know these alters in him. I told my partner that I felt
> like I was on some sort of a date with them even though I know that
> wasn't true and wasn't happening. I still felt that way. My husband
> said that it was apart of him that he is sharing with me and that that
> is why I shouldn't feel so bad about it. All his alters are a form of
> him in different time periods in his life so in a way I shouldn't feel
> to bothered by it at all. He said think of it as just getting to know
> me all over again. At different angles. I said I can see where your
> coming from and after that I didn't feel to bad and felt more
> confident in helping my husband. You really must not feel to bad about
> it. Look at it as helping your spouse out in a way she can't. It's
> your way of helping and don't let some therapist tell you that you
> need to stop because you don't have any background field work in what
> you are doing. Our therapist said that and I told her off. You talking
> with these alters is perfectly healthy and no therapist should keep
> you away from doing that. Anyone that does DOES NOT have you and your
> wife's best interests at heart. They are just wanting to control you
> and your wife and let them mess her up more. Remember it is you and
> your spouse against this world. Go out and take this world on. Grab
> them by the horns and tell them who's boss. That your wife trusts you
> and that they will help you help your wife get through this through
> talking with these alters or you and your wife will report you to the
> police for trying to manipulate you and your wife into a practice that
> is illigal and that you will not stand for it. You have the right to
> take care of your wife. That is not only your marriage right but your
> spiritual and legal right. No one has the right to tell you other
> wise. PERIOD!
>
> Sorry that the feedback is so late. I am a new member and just started
> recently coming to this site. I hope you write back and give me some
> feedback real soon. I would love to know how things are going.
>
>
>       Sincerely,
>       Elizabeth
>       Heiby-Boteler
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________________________________________________
> ________________________________________________________________________
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> To visit your group on the web, go to:
>  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mpdspouses/
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  mpdspouses-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
>  http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>



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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

My SO is in a hospital with a very prestigious DID unit.  Her doctor and
therapists tell her that her parts should not communicate with anyone but her
except in a therapy setting.  They say that if her parts wish to communicate
with me, they have to go through her.  She is supposed to be in charge of her
parts and aware of what they do.  It is hard for her sometimes, but she is
trying to develop a good and trusting relationship with all her parts so that
she can handle things instead of allowing them to control her.

>
> From: mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com
> Date: 2004/02/03 Tue AM 05:16:33 GMT
> To: mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com
> Subject: [MPD Spouses] Digest Number 98
>
>
> There is 1 message in this issue.
>
> Topics in this digest:
>
>       1. Re: Feeling guilty
>            From: "cutewideeyedhobbitgirl" <cutewideeyedhobbitgirl@...>
>
>
> ________________________________________________________________________
> ________________________________________________________________________
>
> Message: 1
>    Date: Mon, 02 Feb 2004 18:21:13 -0000
>    From: "cutewideeyedhobbitgirl" <cutewideeyedhobbitgirl@...>
> Subject: Re: Feeling guilty
>
> I am a SO that had to deal with that same feeling when I first started
> talking,interacting with,and understanding my partners alters sides of
> things. How they look at things and how they feel and why. Whomever
> told you in that chatroom to stop is wrong. In fact you should find
> out more about your partners alters. That way you know and you should
> tell your partner that has the mpd to tell them what things you have
> found out. I first thought if I told my partner about his alters and
> what they did and what things they were into that it would make it
> worse. Well it doesn't. In fact it will help you and your partner
> figure out what happens (specially your partner whom has the mpd) when
> she starts mpding. Your partner should get help and should be on a
> medication that will help her while she is going through these hard
> memories. My husband took meds and I was thankful he did while he was
> going through his hard memories. We had to stop going to the therapist
> that he was going to because she wasn't helping much and making it
> worse as well as her husband lost his job and found a new one in Utah.
> So it was good riddens to bad rubbish for us. I say really look into
> your wives therapists. Where they went to get there education. What
> kind of degree they have. Even look into the school they went to to
> find out what your therapist really is like. There are to many bad
> therapists out there and that's only because us people that go aren't
> banning together to fight the Senate to ban bad therapist from working
> ever in this perfession without a proper education and without actual
> experiance in the field that they work. In fact we as the SO's that
> live with people that have this disorder have more education and
> experiance in the field than they do and should be the ones that help
> people like that. That's my feeling on it. And anyone misusing and
> corrupting the system should be put in prison and their lincenses
> taken away permittely.
>
>   As for feeling unfortable sharing your partner with these alters. I
> felt myself like I was cheating on my husband because I was just
> getting to know these alters in him. I told my partner that I felt
> like I was on some sort of a date with them even though I know that
> wasn't true and wasn't happening. I still felt that way. My husband
> said that it was apart of him that he is sharing with me and that that
> is why I shouldn't feel so bad about it. All his alters are a form of
> him in different time periods in his life so in a way I shouldn't feel
> to bothered by it at all. He said think of it as just getting to know
> me all over again. At different angles. I said I can see where your
> coming from and after that I didn't feel to bad and felt more
> confident in helping my husband. You really must not feel to bad about
> it. Look at it as helping your spouse out in a way she can't. It's
> your way of helping and don't let some therapist tell you that you
> need to stop because you don't have any background field work in what
> you are doing. Our therapist said that and I told her off. You talking
> with these alters is perfectly healthy and no therapist should keep
> you away from doing that. Anyone that does DOES NOT have you and your
> wife's best interests at heart. They are just wanting to control you
> and your wife and let them mess her up more. Remember it is you and
> your spouse against this world. Go out and take this world on. Grab
> them by the horns and tell them who's boss. That your wife trusts you
> and that they will help you help your wife get through this through
> talking with these alters or you and your wife will report you to the
> police for trying to manipulate you and your wife into a practice that
> is illigal and that you will not stand for it. You have the right to
> take care of your wife. That is not only your marriage right but your
> spiritual and legal right. No one has the right to tell you other
> wise. PERIOD!
>
> Sorry that the feedback is so late. I am a new member and just started
> recently coming to this site. I hope you write back and give me some
> feedback real soon. I would love to know how things are going.
>
>
>       Sincerely,
>       Elizabeth
>       Heiby-Boteler
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________________________________________________
> ________________________________________________________________________
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
> To visit your group on the web, go to:
>  http://groups.yahoo.com/group/mpdspouses/
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
>  mpdspouses-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to:
>  http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>

I am a SO that had to deal with that same feeling when I first started
talking,interacting with,and understanding my partners alters sides of
things. How they look at things and how they feel and why. Whomever
told you in that chatroom to stop is wrong. In fact you should find
out more about your partners alters. That way you know and you should
tell your partner that has the mpd to tell them what things you have
found out. I first thought if I told my partner about his alters and
what they did and what things they were into that it would make it
worse. Well it doesn't. In fact it will help you and your partner
figure out what happens (specially your partner whom has the mpd) when
she starts mpding. Your partner should get help and should be on a
medication that will help her while she is going through these hard
memories. My husband took meds and I was thankful he did while he was
going through his hard memories. We had to stop going to the therapist
that he was going to because she wasn't helping much and making it
worse as well as her husband lost his job and found a new one in Utah.
So it was good riddens to bad rubbish for us. I say really look into
your wives therapists. Where they went to get there education. What
kind of degree they have. Even look into the school they went to to
find out what your therapist really is like. There are to many bad
therapists out there and that's only because us people that go aren't
banning together to fight the Senate to ban bad therapist from working
ever in this perfession without a proper education and without actual
experiance in the field that they work. In fact we as the SO's that
live with people that have this disorder have more education and
experiance in the field than they do and should be the ones that help
people like that. That's my feeling on it. And anyone misusing and
corrupting the system should be put in prison and their lincenses
taken away permittely.

   As for feeling unfortable sharing your partner with these alters. I
felt myself like I was cheating on my husband because I was just
getting to know these alters in him. I told my partner that I felt
like I was on some sort of a date with them even though I know that
wasn't true and wasn't happening. I still felt that way. My husband
said that it was apart of him that he is sharing with me and that that
is why I shouldn't feel so bad about it. All his alters are a form of
him in different time periods in his life so in a way I shouldn't feel
to bothered by it at all. He said think of it as just getting to know
me all over again. At different angles. I said I can see where your
coming from and after that I didn't feel to bad and felt more
confident in helping my husband. You really must not feel to bad about
it. Look at it as helping your spouse out in a way she can't. It's
your way of helping and don't let some therapist tell you that you
need to stop because you don't have any background field work in what
you are doing. Our therapist said that and I told her off. You talking
with these alters is perfectly healthy and no therapist should keep
you away from doing that. Anyone that does DOES NOT have you and your
wife's best interests at heart. They are just wanting to control you
and your wife and let them mess her up more. Remember it is you and
your spouse against this world. Go out and take this world on. Grab
them by the horns and tell them who's boss. That your wife trusts you
and that they will help you help your wife get through this through
talking with these alters or you and your wife will report you to the
police for trying to manipulate you and your wife into a practice that
is illigal and that you will not stand for it. You have the right to
take care of your wife. That is not only your marriage right but your
spiritual and legal right. No one has the right to tell you other
wise. PERIOD!

Sorry that the feedback is so late. I am a new member and just started
recently coming to this site. I hope you write back and give me some
feedback real soon. I would love to know how things are going.


       Sincerely,
       Elizabeth
       Heiby-Boteler

I here ya Aaron I hear ya. Agree with you over 100%. All of you SO and
people with PTSD and DID keep your heads up there will be brighter
days you just have to get through the storm before you get to the
calm. That's what life is.


                Sincerely,
                Elizabeth

Hi. I too have a SO who has been diagnosed as DID within the last
year. I can answer actually most of all your questions that you have
swimming around in your head. For I too have had them swimming in my
head. At least some of them any way. Let's brake your letter down so I
can answer them to the best of my knowledge and experiance in going
through watching and experiancing for myself hands on with my husband.

   First I think a little background of my husbands mental background
will help you better understand my side of my daily life since I met
him. Without going into embarressing detail in sake of my husband and
his privacy.

   My husband when I first met him was very messed up in his life. He
was going through a rough stage because he had been out of the prison
system for only a year. He left the state that he got in the trouble
and came here to make a better life for himself but the mental problem
that he has always had because of tramatic experiances made it worse
for him. When I met him though he wasn't as bad as he was when he was
in California. I had met him (you could say) in the nic of time. It
was just perfect for both of us to meet. I was blessed even to meet
him. When I started dating him I find more out about him. He was just
sweet (though at times quick to judge and with his mouth but none the
less I feel in love with him),caring and loving (deep down inside;I
don't think he really even realized he had that kind of side until he
met me), more in touch with his feelings around me than I think he's
ever done and realized before. I could tell that I was doing something
to him but I didn't know what until I found out about what had
happened to him. One night we sat in my car and he just felt it was
time to tell me. So as he told me I couldn't help but feel this rage
of anger for what had happened to him. I off and on at times still do.
More on then off. Any ways my husband had been brutely beaten when he
was a child as well as locked in closets and sometimes for days
starved. He was manipulated by the mind all his young childhood.
Starting at the age of 2. I still want to get his family back for what
they did to him. No one should have to go through that. No one. I
tried to deal with it and I don't think I ever will. When he moved
into my parents house before we moved up here to Indianapolis, Indiana
I had to make him eat. He wouldn't eat because of what had happened to
him. Sometimes he would go for days without eating while we were
dating. I am happy to say that I got his belly fattened up now. Not to
fattened but fattened none the less. He now eats normally. He started
after a year of living here in  Indianapolis to start acting strange.
He was also talking in his sleep. Different languages and reciting
poems and singing songs in different languages. As well as talking a
lot in Latin. His family are Catholic. I started noticing it and at
first I just shrugged it off as just sleep talking in your sleep but
then I started noticing that it was more serious. I started hearing
full conversations to himself. Even though most were in a different
language some was in English. I then thought was if I see if I can
talk to him and see what happens. I freaked out when he started
talking back to me as though he was awake and having normal
conversation with me. I asked him the next day when he was awake if he
realized that he was talking in his sleep and that Ii asked him a few
questions and he answered me back in full sentences and actually
answered those questions. He said he had no clue that that had
happened at all. I then asked him if he has realized for days that he
has been talking in his sleep in different languages and he said no I
didn't know that. He shrugged it off as to think I was playing some
sort of a trick on him or something. I then decided to investagate
more into it. The more he talked in his sleep the more I got more
info. I then one day thought I wonder if there is something more going
on. It didn't seem just like harmless sleep talking. Besides when you
sleep talk you on some level know you doing it. So I decided to find
books on sleep talking,possession,and mental illnesses. All seperate
when I looked these things all up. I found out that my fear was
correct. He did have some sort of mental illness but most people would
just blow off what he has as demon possession. That's what some of his
Catholic family did. He was shunned by some of his family because of
it and they are the ones that made it all possible for him to have
these mental problems. When you read of demon possession you start
getting convinced that it's just that but it's not that it really is a
certain mental problem. I decided to have my husband(we were married
after awhile) go to a therapist and find out what he had. She didn't
automatically diagnose him as DID right away but she did get his
background of what other doctors he's seen have thought and then she
examine him and her thought was that it might be DID. She refired my
husband to a Phycitrist  and he examined my husband and his first
visit he told my husband that he had all the systems of what was
called Dissociative Idenitiy Disorder but that wasn't the main problem
it was just a symtom off of the main problem. He told him that the
main problem he had was called Post-Tramatic Stress Disorder and
whenever a past back memory happens he starts reliving the memory as
though it's really happening to him all over again. that causes major
stress which creates a chain reaction into a DID episode. Here's your
question about wheather you are
in denial and if you are being closed-minded? To answer it fairly and
truthfully yes you are in denial and being closed-minded and I don't
mean to say that meanly or harshly so forgive me. Those are normal
first reactions when you (as her SO) hear this. I didn't have that
reaction but that's only because his situation was a little different
than your wifes. Plus I already have been all my growing up in a
family full of mental cases so I know the signs. I was skeptic as well
when my husband came out and we got in the car and he told me that he
had already diagnosed him. I felt that this guy was a quack and would
have to be wrong. But I knew better. I knew that he was right that my
husband really did have all the signs to what he was speaking about I
just didn't want to believe him only because I didn't trust his
educaton and his judgement. But that is only because I myself have had
my fair share of past crazy therapists and Phycitrists misdiagnosing
me. I then realized that my husband and I are different in how our
minds and bodies are developed and that his sitaution was not the
same. In fact they were completely different. I accepted it that same
day. But as for his therapist(which we were sharing)I was not being
just paraniod about her. I knew there was something messed up with her
but at that time I didn't know what. I know now and am glad she is no
longer in our lives. You have to be real careful what kind of
therapist you get because they will all try to hook you into believing
that they all know better than you do. Shoot that's what they are
taught in college. But if you are two or three steps ahead of them and
really do look into where they went to school and how much education
they got and everything like that you can usually tell which ones are
the true blue therapists and which ones are more crazy than you are.
Don't allow them to try to manipulate you into believing that you
don't have to and/or have the right to look into their background to
find out if they are legit. You have every right and you should before
you do any kind of deep talking with them. Most of us out there that
need help and need therapy are vulerible and are very easy manipulated
most those therapists out there know that and some actually use that
to their advantage to use and abuse us even worse. I think people like
that are sick and need major help themselves as well as need to have
their liceneses taken away and never be allowed to practise again as
well as should serve prison time for it. But we don't live in a world
full of that kind of justice. Here's a suggestion I have that I
recommend everyone to do. Get 3 professional opinions. And if all 3
are the same then there is your answer but if they are all 3 different
like say one said they have this and the other saids then then you'll
have to keep searching until you find the right one. And where all 3
are the same. Another suggestion I have to is once you have all 3 the
same then go to 3 others and find out if they think that it is what
these doc's say it is. I know that is a lot of money but I look at it
this way. God will bless you in doing this for your partner whom you
have promised to yourself,God and to others out there that you love
with all your whole being. So money to you won't matter. Just getting
them help. Real true help will. And there is nothing wrong with
admitting that you need help. And don't let anyone tell you any
different.


   I have been trying to be supportive without
> encouraging what I fear is not real.

    Let me tell you that you are doing what I didn't and couldn't do.
So please pat yourself on the back for that. I have been making it
worse for my husband even though I know better than to lay into him I
have no real clue what to do on how to support him when he does
dissociate. We live in a state that doesn't do any kind of DID
research to help people with this illness or anything. So I have been
at my wits end. I have found a book recently that I think you
seriously should read. And that even your wife should read. I'll give
you the name and the author at the end of this letter.


Is there a way to support her
> without encouraging this diagnosis?

   That is a hard question for me to answer. Like I have stated before
up above you have done something that I couldn't. You must understand
something though. To support your spouse is to encourage. To not only
let them know that you are there but to be comepletely there comfort
(or safe) zone. Which goes into answering the question. Will
> she ever be able to be my partner, or am I a caregiver-for-life?
The answer to that is yes and yes. You need to look at this positively
because if you don't she'll catch on that you aren't and freak out and
you'll lose her as you being her comfort zone for her. I don't just
believe that my husband will and can get cured by this illness but
because spiritually praying to God I know he will. I know the real
person that is inside him. God knows the real person inside him. It is
up to me to help him bring and to help him see that that person whom I
fell in love with and is is the person I married. They need to know
why you married them in the first place because they don't know who
they are inside. They are lost. And to be found they need you. You are
the partner and the care-giver. You are the Father,the Brother,and the
Husband. But you need to figure out how to seperate them when she
needs just one of them. Our therapist told me that I was not suppose
to be the Mother,the Sister,and the Wife. She told me that I was just
the Wife. That is untrue and any therapist that saids that to you you
need to run not walk away from them and never go back. As well as they
need to be reported. All therapists have to go up against a board. Use
that you your advantage. We as the spouses aren't just ment to sit
back and just watch this happen to them. We have to be apart of it to
help the, out. That's the only way we can be true supporters and
comfort zones to our spouses. Most DID patients have children in them
that come out. Why because it is a childhood trama that happens.
That's why they use to  call it Mutiple Personality Disorder because
to have it all start you had to have a childhood trama to start it.
And then it just builds and builds to more and more personalities. I
don't know what they even changed the name of it because it all the
samething. No matter how many times you change the name.



Should I pretend to go along
> with it?

   No you should never pretend. Answer yourself these questions.
Remember she has feelings too. Real feelings and you told her you
loved her and would care for her through sickness and through health.
Were you serious? Were you telling the truth when you said that? You
need to for your sake to find out more about what DID is and what the
symtoms are as well as supporting her in the process. So then once you
understand and know more on how to help her and how to handle it for
yourself. So no you should never pretend. You need to learn more so
you can grow and gain knowledge of what this illness is so you aren't
having to lie to yourself and her. Think about this serious for a
minute. Let's say she does have DID. And let's say she has a childhood
memory of someone very close to her and someone she trusted years ago
leaving her behind. Now if you lie and are thinking about or want to
get a divorce because you think you can't take what she has mentally
then what do you think might happen to her mentally? And also ask
yourself this. Put yourself in her shoes. Think about the worse case
senero and quaddrupple that. That is exactly what she will feel. She
will get worse and maybe even create a new personality. Now is that
something you are really wanting to do? This isn't just about what you
are going through and how you have to handle it. Remember she's
actually going through it. You are just feeling helpless and lonely
and not knowing what to do. Remember she's really worse off than you
are. You need to remember that. She isn't all up there in the head and
needs someone who she can trust and love truly to help her get through
it. The movie I recommend you see is What Dreams May Come. It will
help you put into prospective what real true love is and can do to
conquer all. She literally needs her knight and shining armor. Are you
going to be that knight or are you going to be like everyone else that
she has had in her like that has abandoned her and left. Everyone
needs someone. And everyone has a someone. Question I have that I'm
curious to know from you is. Did you just find out recently about this
or did you know about this when you two were dating before you two got
married? And even if you didn't know before are you going to be a
cowerd and run away or are you going to be a man and be there for her.
Are you going to be her man or her mouse? To true love takes
conviction and giving up apart of yourself to that person. It is the
most hardest thing to do next to having faith in God. You need to also
use your spiritualness for this. No one can get through this without
that. If you have issues with God I say you put those aside and if you
truly love her like you say you do then you will let God help you. To
open your mind you must give up yourself fully to the one true God. I
also look it it this way. Would I want someone if I had this problem
to abandon me? I am a mormon and I don't believe in death do us part.
I know that I will not only see my mate in the next life but if I get
sealed to him in our temple I will be sealed to him for all eternity.
I don't just believe that I know that to be true. It is all in the
faith that I have in Jesus Christ and in my Heavenly Father. I know
they wouldn't send me someone I can't help and that can't help me. The
Godhead isn't cruel. Only Satan and Man are. And when you know that
will you truly be able to help her and yourself to get through this.



She believes
> she has "parts."  If she believes it, does that make it so?

   Like I said above earlier. You need to fully research and study to
find out if what she as is DID. Don't just sit on your hands and not
do anything to find out. Your obligation to yourself and her is to
help her and to help her handle this. If you can't handle this she
won't be able to. So look into it. Like I have also stated above
earlier I will give you at the end a book that is incredible to read.
It tells a lot about it and goes more into it than I think any
therapist could go.


Would she be better off if I left her, so she would be forced to be
> self-sufficient?

   That question as already been answered up above. I would encourage
you to reread what I have written to you and see what was said about
this question.

   Here's the book that may change yourself forever. I know it has me.
I suggest trying all the web sites and books that it suggests in this
book to read up on it. Here it is. It's called The dissociative
identity disorder sourcebook and it's by Deborah Bray Haddock, M.Ed.,
M.A., L.P. Forward by James A. Chu, M.D. And if you want to find out
about Post-Trama Stress here's a book I found quite helpful and
answered a lot of questions. It's called Post-Trauma Stress by Frank
Parkinson. Two very helpful books. A web site I recommend to go to to
help you out and learning a little bit more about DID and maybe even
getting more support in the matter as a SO as well. The web site is
http://www.mosaicminds.org/safe-ground-new.shtml. That will take you
to a page that will help you and your wife know what to do when she
just starts getting ready to switch into a personality. It's called
Grounding yourself. I use some of these techniques while I'm having a
major anxiety attack in my car or when I am in small or big crowds.
You talk your way through it. And use things that will help you come
back from making yourself relive the nightmare. It really does help.
Like I've said I've tried it before. I'm not DID but I do have major
panic attacks and it really works in any situation. Including before
you hit a DID episode and start Post-Trauma Stressing it. I just came
upon this web site the day before and have decided to try it the next
time I can tell my husband is just starting to switch. I will get back
with you if you'd like to let you know if it worked for him. Since he
really is the one that has these illnesses? Another one is
multiple-personality.com. Go check these sites out. If you would like
to e-mail me back e-mail me. I would love to hear from you and find
out how you and your wife are doing.


         Sincerely,
         Elizabeth
         Heiby-Boteler (SO of a PSTD and DID person)

Hello,

My Wife's MPD symptoms worsened considerably after starting therapy. I
beleive the healing process is felt to be threatening by some of her alters.
Therapy uncovers secerats long kept from selfves and others. Unfortunatly,
as we've been told, this is the only way to recovery. I wonder...? Don't
lose faith in yourself, or partner, you are not alone. Love is said to
overcome all obsticles. I feel this is perhaps the only truth, and so I
encorage all to grasp hold, if to nothing else. Take care of your loved
ones, but above all, take care of yourself. This is not selfish, but
survival.

Sincerely,

mearly a human animal,

Aaron

P.S. Taking care of oneself and loved ones may be one in the same. Collage
degrees can be merely as valuable as the paper printed upon.

Tony;


   I have a husband that has DID and is a danger to himself and can be
to others but not suicidal. My husband has one alter that I know of
that does illigal drugs and steals things from himself,family,and me.
It has gotten so bad that we both decided to just have me take over in
taking care of his paychecks because his alters can't control
themselves. I think it may just be one alter but I could be wrong.

   I have experianced seeing one of my husbands alters "take out" one
and scold one other one so badly for something that alter did that
could have killed my husband that that alter that did wrong never came
out again. I call it one alter scarying another alter so badly that
you scare them right out or completely shutting them up by scaring
them to silience them.

   All I know is that ever since that alter has talked with the one
that screwed up so badly it literally stopped having that alter come
out. There's one other that I have experianced that is a little child.
Old enough to talk, doesn't like light and isn't allowed to touch
anyone. But I have had a brake through with this alter. He let me not
only touch his hand but hold his hand for a minute. As well as gave me
certain info I needed. That I think might have helped a little but I
don't know because ever since I had my husband go to a therapist that
made it worse and didn't help I haven't been able to get in contact
with ANY of his alters ever since she's talked with them. All I have
seen now is our money that I have in my purse once and awhile being
stolen as well as some of my parents things. We live with my parents
if you couldn't tell. My husband will tell us one thing and do
another. We sometimes can tell when his alters are getting ready to
come out and do things but not all the time because he (this one
alter) is quite crafty. I am worried that my husband will end up in
jail for something that our system just doesn't care and doesn't want
to understand.

   I read what you wrote about your wife being tormented by one of her
male alters and killing some other ones just to get back at her
therapist. I could understand how that could happen. A lot of
therapists piss off the alters instead of even bothering to help or
say they have not ever had this experiance before and telling the
people they are mentally screwing up even worse that they don't have
the quilifications for this specific disorder. In fact I had to go off
on my husbands therapist because I knew she wasn't doing anything
correctly and I knew she was using my husband for something. I went
above her and told her boss and she got fired. I feel what your going
through with your wife and watching her have to go through this on her
own and you not knowing what to do or how ot help her from your side
of it. In fact I am at my wits end because I don't know what else to
do and how else to help my husband. He just started a job and I'm not
sure when or if we will ever be good in money for me to help him get
help somewhere. I'm not saying up above that your therapist is like
what my husbands was but I have seen and heard it happen before.

   As for you not knowing what the implication for one alter killing
another is but I have a thought of what it might be. I think it might
be that that alter killing off the one or more than one may mean that
hthose alters are unimportant enough to that alter or that the
therapist may have hit a nerve with that alter and pissed that alter
off so badly that to either satify the therapist or to satify the
feeling that that alter was getting just to calm itself down. Now I
look at it like this. If that alter did kill off some of the others or
just one then I wouldn't worry as much. I think that the alter would
have rather killed one of the alters in her than to kill in real life.
Even though that alter has threatened the therapist and her.

    I would have to say I agree with you about your wife struggling
with some of the worst parts of her long-term abuse and coming to
grips with the huge pain that is being unearthed in her recovery
process. Perhaps she is so horrified at the realization that she is
fighting with herself to avoid it. I know that my husband is going
through that right now and just doesn't know how to help himself. The
therapists here are small pickens and aren't worth the time and money.
So I am having to look outside our state to see if and how to help my
husband.

     If you would like to talk more please e-mail me back. Thank you!
And I hope and pray that you and your wife will be well and you'll be
able to help her as much as you can as her spouse. Just remember this.
For better or for worse. I like to change that or to and because it's
always going to be envitible that people get married that we will have
the better with the worse. The sickness with the health. Never give up
hope in God and in yourselves.

            Sincerely,
            Elizabeth
            Heiby-Boteler

Hi.  My SO was recently diagnosed DID after years of bouncing around
in the mental health sytem.  We have been together for 6 years, and
I have seen no indications of this.  She started seeing a therapist
who happens to specialize in DID, and suddenly she is DID.  I am
having trouble accepting that he did not impose his specialty on a
vulnerable young woman.  I have been trying to be supportive without
encouraging what I fear is not real.  Now she is back in the
hospital in a special DID unit.  I'm so sad and confused.  I wish I
could know the truth or know what to do.  I don't want to hurt her,
but I am afraid she is being misled by a careless therapist.  Am I
in denial?  Am I being closed-minded?  Is there a way to support her
without encouraging this diagnosis?  Should I pretend to go along
with it?  I don't think she's pretending or faking.  She believes
she has "parts."  If she believes it, does that make it so?  Will
she ever be able to be my partner, or am I a caregiver-for-life?
Would she be better off if I left her, so she would be forced to be
self-sufficient?

I know no one can really answer all my questions.  They are swirling
around in my mind, though, and I thought it might help to get them
out.  Thanks for listening.

Ross, I think you are doing great with your life and studies.  Good
luck in your travels and future endeavors.  I know you can go far.
Please keep in touch so we know how you are doing.

Mark


--- In mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com, rossetal <no_reply@y...> wrote:
> again its so nice to see everyone. and mark im so sorry to hear
about
> sandy blessings to you i hope that all is well and you are doing
> better.
>
> everyone in here is doing well i guess. i am kind of incommunicado
> with a lot of my guys lately, due to my own ignorance and denial i
> guess.
>
> i cannot believe it literally has been YEARS since i talked to you
> all. lynnie and kimmie and mark and everyone - everyone here says
hi.
>
> we are looking forward to the holidays. this year for new years we
> are making our 2nd trip up to new york city to see the ball drop,
and
> cannot wait! i guess it has become a tradition. last year was
really
> fun, hopefully this year will be even more fun.
>
> in august 2003 i graduated college, FINALLY, with my bachelors
> degree. it took me longer than it takes most people, because of
the
> in and out of rehab thing,  but i got through it,with a very good
> GPA, and so i am proud of that.
>
> right now im trying to decide which path to take. there is a
graduate
> school program at NYU, a masters in mid-east studies, that i
really
> want to do, but you have to take a GRE test to get in and it looks
> really hard so im really scared of it. chances are good that i
will
> apply to NYU summer classes to take arabic. however, things change
> you know? so i dont know for sure what will happen. another thing
i
> might do is this summer travel with a group to the west bank
> (israel/palestine) and work over there for about 5 weeks. i have
made
> contact with a charity that has said they will fund my trip and
hook
> me up with people to stay with. that is exciting but i have to
really
> think hard about this. im sure you all are like wtf?
>
> you see, i have become really involved in a certain political
issue,
> i wont detail it so that i wont bore anyone, but it is basically
what
> i want to spend my life doing. (and is in part why i want to learn
> arabic). its a cause that i have found, and something that i
really
> want to work towards improving. anyways yeah.
>
> ummmmm what else , went to inpatient rehab in summer 01, i was
> actually there during 911 which was pretty scary for everyone. it
did
> good but i have relapsed off and on since but sincerely everything
is
> much better than it was. in the months before i went, i was
drinking
> to black out every single night, using speed during the day time,
and
> mixing in pills with the alcohol. it was really bad, i was really
> scared, i finally just asked for help and i wound up going to a
rehab
> in hunt, texas.
>
> to be honest i dont really let the littles have much time. i am in
a
> different relationship now and to avoid hurting anyones feelings
who
> might be reading this i wont go into detail about that, but she
reads
> to the littles and buys them toys and things like that.  i know
its a
> bad thing but i still really try to keep them all pushed back. i
> guess im striving for normalcy , where normalcy does not exist?
>
> ok i will quit blabbing. i hope everyones doing good. love to you
all
> and safe hugs.
>
> the crew

I'm not an SO.  I really don't have an SO.  Anyhow.....I need to
find a new therapist, to make a long story short.  I'm virtually
without one now.

again its so nice to see everyone. and mark im so sorry to hear about
sandy blessings to you i hope that all is well and you are doing
better.

everyone in here is doing well i guess. i am kind of incommunicado
with a lot of my guys lately, due to my own ignorance and denial i
guess.

i cannot believe it literally has been YEARS since i talked to you
all. lynnie and kimmie and mark and everyone - everyone here says hi.

we are looking forward to the holidays. this year for new years we
are making our 2nd trip up to new york city to see the ball drop, and
cannot wait! i guess it has become a tradition. last year was really
fun, hopefully this year will be even more fun.

in august 2003 i graduated college, FINALLY, with my bachelors
degree. it took me longer than it takes most people, because of the
in and out of rehab thing,  but i got through it,with a very good
GPA, and so i am proud of that.

right now im trying to decide which path to take. there is a graduate
school program at NYU, a masters in mid-east studies, that i really
want to do, but you have to take a GRE test to get in and it looks
really hard so im really scared of it. chances are good that i will
apply to NYU summer classes to take arabic. however, things change
you know? so i dont know for sure what will happen. another thing i
might do is this summer travel with a group to the west bank
(israel/palestine) and work over there for about 5 weeks. i have made
contact with a charity that has said they will fund my trip and hook
me up with people to stay with. that is exciting but i have to really
think hard about this. im sure you all are like wtf?

you see, i have become really involved in a certain political issue,
i wont detail it so that i wont bore anyone, but it is basically what
i want to spend my life doing. (and is in part why i want to learn
arabic). its a cause that i have found, and something that i really
want to work towards improving. anyways yeah.

ummmmm what else , went to inpatient rehab in summer 01, i was
actually there during 911 which was pretty scary for everyone. it did
good but i have relapsed off and on since but sincerely everything is
much better than it was. in the months before i went, i was drinking
to black out every single night, using speed during the day time, and
mixing in pills with the alcohol. it was really bad, i was really
scared, i finally just asked for help and i wound up going to a rehab
in hunt, texas.

to be honest i dont really let the littles have much time. i am in a
different relationship now and to avoid hurting anyones feelings who
might be reading this i wont go into detail about that, but she reads
to the littles and buys them toys and things like that.  i know its a
bad thing but i still really try to keep them all pushed back. i
guess im striving for normalcy , where normalcy does not exist?

ok i will quit blabbing. i hope everyones doing good. love to you all
and safe hugs.

the crew

Good to see you again.  I am so glad things are working out for all
of you.  Say hi to everyone.

Mr. Mark

hihi mr. mark,

how are you?  i am sorry about the car accident.  we are living in
ohio with the mommy.  we like it here alot.  we have lots of friends
from AA.  we go out to lunch with them.  we left brad 20 months ago,
and now tl has a boyfriend that we like alot. he takes us to the
movies and out to dinner.  he is so nice to us.  tl hasn't told him
about any of us yet. she is afraid it will scare him away.

well, i'm going to go play on the computer some more.  tl starts her
new job tonight at the gas station.  she didn't go to drug rehab
today.  she was tired from hearing all of us talking to her again.

byby
kimmy :-)

Good to see Ross get us back together again.  Sorry I haven't posted
much.  Sandy and I were in a terrible car accident in July 2002 and
she passed away.  That was one of the reasons I haven't done much
with the club.  I have been checking messages occasionially.  When I
saw the recent messages, I was so happy to  see you guys messaging
again.
I will keep checking messages and replying.  Best wishes to you all.

Mark

Hey Ross,

It's Lynnie.  How the hell have you been?  I thought you dropped off
the face of the earth.  We are doing pretty good.  We are separated
from Brad, and living in Ohio.  We like it here.  We have also
sobered up too.  47 days today.  We are doing a rehab program four
days a week, plus going to three AA meetings.

Kimmy says to say hi to Paul for her.  She misses him so much.  I
hope the little guy is doing ok.  Tell Ice I said howdy.

Missed you all bunches,

Lynnie and Kimmy

hi julie
its been so long hasnt it? im glad to hear that you are doing good. i
have changed in so many ways and in some ways, not at all. the story
is long, boring and tedious but i think that i have grown a lot. post
back ok?

I don't know who is still around from our days.  There have been
some new faces, posts etc. but not a lot of action so to speak.
How are you doing?  I'm doing pretty good.  Email if you just want
to catch up or talk -better yet if you want to keep posting maybe we
could liven up the group.
Julie

anyone out there? i have not posted in years.

hey sunshine,
   just checking to see how things are going for you, have missed you,
hope all is well, tazzy


--- In mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com, "Alyssa Michelle"
<goaliegrl39@y...> wrote:
> Hello everyone!  I have been a part of so many SO Support groups
and
> am trying to find the right one(s) for me.  I go by the name
Sunshine
> in my groups, because I like to be positive, and Roy is my multiple
> SO.  I am a 21 year old female fiancee of a 34 year old male
> multiple.  Our relationship is a bit out of sorts, and I am looking
> for support for that, as well.  I don't like giving intro's much,
> because I've done so many in the past couple of months.  But, I am
> extremely interested in learning the in depth aspects of DID/MPD
and
> how to deal with it as a loved one. I love to be involved in
> interesting topics related to MPD/DID and have come to know that
many
> of my past MPD/DID support groups love to have debates.  I am not
> looking to be part of a debate.  I am looking to learn from real
life
> experiences.  I may have a lot of stupid questions, or I may just
> want to read and respond to many posts.  Anyway, it is nice to meet
> you all and I am glad that I have found this group.
>
> Sunshine