I could not agree with Thea more.  My spouse (now ex, due to her angry alters)
ravaged our kids college funds and spent the money on drugs, had myriads of
affairs, raged at my kids and I, and then as Thea said, would be the sweetest
person in the world.  I can only imagine the hell that she went through, and the
hell she is on now.  But it is also hell living with someone who behaves like
that.  It puts you into a different sphere of reality, one that you wish you
never knew.

John

--- On Mon, 2/2/09, Thea <wishin52@...> wrote:

From: Thea <wishin52@...>
Subject: Re: [MPD Spouses] Hi to all
To: mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com
Date: Monday, February 2, 2009, 4:02 PM













Nathan,

I have no idea your position regarding age, other opportunities, children,
finances etc. so it is rather presumptive of me to even offer an answer. however
I noticed that no spouses of DIDs replied to you

 

So here is a take from the other side.

IF and only if your girl is indeed in therapy aimed at working on her DID then
there is perhaps hope for a real relationship that is not continually a roller
coaster ride.  If she is indeed in therapy then the work will take 3-5 years and
you will be riding that ride the whole time until coconsciousness is achieved.

 

Otherwise I would say you have no idea what you are in for.  There is no book
that I have read thus far that even begins to describe how awful it is for the
"normal" person inside a DID relationship.  We are treated alternately horribly
and wonderfully and sometimes just ignored and treated as though we don't exist.

 

If you are planning on having children with this woman, you are doing your
children a gross dis-service.  NOW all you with DID please don't go getting up
in arms, I have seen the adverse effects on my family and don't wish that on
anyone.  Granted my boys have a play buddy unparalleled and in some regards that
is a great thing, but as for having a co-parent, well he exists sometimes and
not others and that is difficult.  Plus he has a child's view of discipline so
it is often skewed weirdly.

 

It is not easy being involved with a DID and we (the whole family) had to
threaten to leave our DID in order to get him into therapy because our house was
in such a sad state of affairs.  I would also recommend that you guard your
finances as they don't always know that they all are spending and that costs
more than supporting one person, if that makes sense.

 

Sory if this is a bit long but there is so much more to understand for you.

Thea

--- On Sun, 2/1/09, ndoss36 <ndoss36@yahoo. com> wrote:



From: ndoss36 <ndoss36@yahoo. com>

Subject: [MPD Spouses] Hi to all

To: mpdspouses@yahoogro ups.com

Date: Sunday, February 1, 2009, 12:31 PM



Hello

My name is Nathan and I have been dating a wondeful woman for 13

months now. About five months ago I noticed little changes but

dismissed it thought she was just being nervous. I had a few things

happen that made me begin to think about all the little things I

saw. I started reading everybook I could get my hands on until I

finally put the puzzle together. It has not been easy for her and I

could never figure that out. I could tell she wanted and enjoyed

very much being with me but I noticed at times when I looked into

her eyes that there was something different. It has taken me awhile

and waiting for the right time to ask if she had DID. Once I did it

through her system into a state of panic. Its been a month now since

I have talked with her but have had many encounters with her alters.

Everything from get lost buddy to your nice but it would be better

if you just forgot about her. If I had not known and she said these

things I would have been deeply hurt but thank god I knew what was

going on. She did tell me that night she said yes to DID that no one

in her family knows not even her three kids and that I was not to

tell anyone. Then her alter Kim showed up (the protector) and said a

few nice words to me. I care so much about her and it hurts to know

she is going through this alone. She claims she is seeing a

therapist but to be honest I really dont know. Her daughter is mad

at me because she thinks I hurt her which I dont. I am just

overwhelmed and I hope one day she will come back.



nate



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