Hi,
If her defender is saying what you said then you should be ok with her
i would think you will have ones all the time that are not going to be
friendly to you it is part of D.I.D I think at times and well you try
getting the numbers of alters as separate people to agree on the same
thing in the one room that is what it is like for us with D.I.D i
have only 64 alters and sometimes we can agree on things other times
we go with what the majority say and cop the pain from the ones that
have the shits over the choices we make.

Do you know whom it was that you fell for? is their some that are ok
with you being in her life?
Does she have low self esteem? i think when that is in play we push
our loved ones away more so, sometimes, trust is going to be a big
issue, if she was in treatment then your finding out of her D.I.D
should not have coursed a big issue other then if she does not know to
what extent that she can trust you to keep her secret.

--- In mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com, "ndoss36" <ndoss36@...> wrote:
>
> Hello
> My name is Nathan and I have been dating a wondeful woman for 13
> months now. About five months ago I noticed little changes but
> dismissed it thought she was just being nervous. I had a few things
> happen that made me begin to think about all the little things I
> saw. I started reading everybook I could get my hands on until I
> finally put the puzzle together. It has not been easy for her and I
> could never figure that out. I could tell she wanted and enjoyed
> very much being with me but I noticed at times when I looked into
> her eyes that there was something different. It has taken me awhile
> and waiting for the right time to ask if she had DID. Once I did it
> through her system into a state of panic. Its been a month now since
> I have talked with her but have had many encounters with her alters.
> Everything from get lost buddy to your nice but it would be better
> if you just forgot about her. If I had not known and she said these
> things I would have been deeply hurt but thank god I knew what was
> going on. She did tell me that night she said yes to DID that no one
> in her family knows not even her three kids and that I was not to
> tell anyone. Then her alter Kim showed up (the protector) and said a
> few nice words to me. I care so much about her and it hurts to know
> she is going through this alone. She claims she is seeing a
> therapist but to be honest I really dont know. Her daughter is mad
> at me because she thinks I hurt her which I dont. I am just
> overwhelmed and I hope one day she will come back.
>
> nate
>