Hi Carolyn,

I am new to this group and this is my 1st post. I just want you to
know that I can totally relate. I have been in a relationship for
24 years with my husband, married after 9 years. Just prior to the
wedding I started noticing a distance between us and was totally
flabergasted on our wedding night when I was told he was "too tired
to
make love with me."

After an agonizing 15 years of trying to figure out what was wrong
with me, I slowly and painfully uuncovered the truth of his SRA. I
now believe the one(s) that married me, do truly love me, it's way
deeper
alters that don't and think they are married to Satan.

To this day, he is in total denial. Needless to say, I am greatly
disturbed by this. I have tried every thing in the world I can think
of to try and at least have some type of discussion regarding these
discoveries. He simply says, "You'll never forgive me, it was just
something I was going thru."

I have stayed with him this long because I still love him deeply and
can't turn that off. The real problem I am experiencing is the total
lack of any type of sexual intimacy.

Something I do try to keep in mind when I feel like screaming and
yelling at him for all the pain and heartache this has brought to my
life is "Be Kind; for everyone you meet is fighting a very difficult
battle."

I also feel the need to be able to discuss this "secret" that has/is
tearing my mind and heart apart.

Take care,
Gail