Deb

Thank you for this disclosure. It was wonderful to read such common sense. I am
a therapist and know someone personally who is DID. I have found that
co-operation is the best way to look at the whole issue of DID. Intergration
can cause such inner conflict that is some cases it can make things harder for
the person with DID.


Thank yoi again.

Graham

Quoting deb <debz_@...>:

>
>
>
>
> this is really valid and accurate information from my perspective.
>
>
>
> i am concerned though that people might think because one DID system
>
> is ok with "swinging" that people might think DIDer's are into those
>
> kinds of relationships.
>
>
>
> DID is a condition that can co-exist with any other set of values, or
>
> other conditions of illness's, or personlity disorders.
>
>
>
> one who is DID could be a serial killer or a devoted nun, faithful
>
> wife and mother of 10 children, or prostitute.
>
>
>
> each DID must be taken as an individual, and collective soul.  and
>
> relationships within DID systemc can and do change.  a DID life that
>
> was being lived as a raging alcoholic in life behavior can suddenly
>
> cghange and the alcoholisim completely vanish as if it never existed
>
> with increasing awareness within, and in internal changes in decision.
>
>
>
> also when one alter enters a serious relationahip, the other's who
>
> step forward may or may not have anything to do with that
>
> relationship.  they will individually make those decisions, and a lot
>
> may depend on how much internal communication or sharing is going on.
>
>
>
> i have had problems with my ex who said, oh i wish i had someone else
>
> to take over my life when i didn't like things...  and this is just
>
> so much ignorance.  when someone else takes over they do not in any
>
> way take up your life, they take up their own life.  i don't know
>
> anyone who glady hands their life over to a five year old, or a 60
>
> year old person of an opposite gender, just because things get
>
> difficult.  in my view there is nothing to glory in living with this
>
> condition apart from sheer survival.
>
>
>
> i found for myself that over time things do change and internal
>
> relationships do change, and life dicisions can be
>
> profoundly "altered" with these changes in communication and shared
>
> information amonst that many perspectives within.
>
>
>
> both my chioldren are in serious relationships with partners who are
>
> either DID or profoundly dissociated, and as  DID parent this is very
>
> painful for me to watch.  i am very familiar with their experiences
>
> of the pain of sudden rejections, and sudden rages, and then deep
>
> expressions of adoration and dependency.  and trying to raise
>
> children in these environments.. it is agonzing to watch.
>
>
>
> there is excellent therapy available, incredible research has been
>
> done, and we just have a country and a world that is not educated
>
> and/or has no priority to provide for the needs of seriously
>
> struggling DID individuals so their lives can have more peace, more
>
> harmony and more achievement and healthy relationships.
>
>
>
> i find as i come more together within.. the internal suffering is
>
> profoundly increased as lives that have been completely independent
>
> begin to touch, when winds going different directions begine to hurl
>
> against each other.  the result of this work is getting on the same
>
> page within and enjoying fuller living, and fuller relationhsips, and
>
> life more abundantly.
>
>
>
> i do not require integration to experience this, just more co-
>
> operation and understanding within.
>
>
>
> deb
>
>
>
> --- In mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com, "mwb53tx" <wboyd1953@n...> wrote:
>
> > good_master_thor (12:40:06 AM): Hey SGX.......How Ya doing??
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:27:12 AM): hey there. sorry didn't see you pop
>
> > up. was in the kitchen.
>
> > good_master_thor (1:27:21 AM): mmm food
>
> > good_master_thor (1:27:48 AM): How's it going?
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:28:45 AM): Actually, not food, but opening
>
> > bills, sorting through them, and deciding what needs to be done
>
> while
>
> > I have my two days off.
>
> > good_master_thor (1:28:56 AM): yuck.....hate bills
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:29:14 AM): I do all the financial management
>
> > around here.
>
> > good_master_thor (1:29:29 AM): I hate it so I let robin take care of
>
> > it......
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:29:51 AM): so what's up? you PM'd me.
>
> > good_master_thor (1:30:04 AM): She said I should........lol
>
> > good_master_thor (1:30:12 AM): Never did say why though....
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:30:32 AM): perhaps it had something to do
>
> with mpd?
>
> > good_master_thor (1:31:13 AM): Could be......She told Me last
>
> > night.........I have had 2 close friends with mpd....So I am very
>
> > familiar with it.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:33:27 AM): I never heard of it before I met
>
> her.
>
> > It was some time into our relationship when she herself began to
>
> > suspect that she had it. It didn't take long to realize she did. a
>
> > long story. it's been something she's lived with, without realizing
>
> > it, since she was a very young girl.
>
> > good_master_thor (1:34:09 AM): That happens.....How many of Her
>
> alters
>
> > have you met that you know of?
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:37:29 AM): I used to keep a file on my laptop
>
> > documenting the different personalities. I've counted and met about
>
> > 25, one or two of whom don't even know who I am... one even was
>
> > convinced that she lived in Virginia Beach, and that I must have
>
> > kidnapped her. However, there are only a few that I deal with on a
>
> > regular basis. The actual core person is Shelly, a name I gave her.
>
> > she's the one I deal with most of the time. But there are children,
>
> > there is a protectress, there is a controller. very interesting
>
> stuff.
>
> > I believe the one you deal with most of the time is rain.
>
> > good_master_thor (1:38:27 AM): So rain is an alter?? How old is
>
> she??
>
> > She thinks I may have met one called carla also.....
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:43:17 AM): well.... you know no one knows her
>
> > better than I, and I also joined several mpd support groups for
>
> > awhile. An alter.... no one in there thinks they're an alter. No one
>
> > in there thinks they have multiple personalities except shelly. Each
>
> > is convinced they are not an alter. And in fact, none of the alters,
>
> > per se, have MPD.... they are not multiple personalities. They are
>
> > single personalities within a greater psyche.... this is "their"
>
> > reality.... rain is an alter. But she's shared a great deal with
>
> > shelly, who must have told you about mpd. carla is the gorean slave.
>
> > rain is the bdsm slave. shelly is a submissive wife. and then
>
> there's
>
> > Amber, or Mistress Amber, the protectress, who I'm sure you've met
>
> > when she gets angry. For each of these personalities, this is
>
> complete
>
> > reality.
>
> > good_master_thor (1:44:59 AM): Nods...yep..Same with My
>
> > friends.......I have sat and talked with 60 year old Men and 4 year
>
> > old lil girls.....Thankfully they would tell Me when they would
>
> switich
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:47:17 AM): Yes. Though it is common in DID
>
> (the
>
> > correct name for MPD) to have both male and female personalities,
>
> all
>
> > of Shelly's alters as far as I have met are female. Each has a
>
> unique
>
> > personality. Each has blank spots in memory. Unexplained memory and
>
> > time losses as one personality "goes inside"
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:47:22 AM): hmmm.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:47:37 AM): she's telling me, "with Thor
>
> everyone
>
> > gets a chance"
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:47:42 AM): Amber is talking now.
>
> > good_master_thor (1:47:57 AM): Is she saying I 'm easy???? LOL
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:48:02 AM): no, no.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:48:23 AM): As far as I know, a person with MPD
>
> > has a "system"
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:48:51 AM): the system is a compartmentalized
>
> > brain that developed to cope with early life trauma, usually sexual
>
> > trauma.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:49:16 AM): each compartment of the brain has
>
> > it's own memory, likes, dislikes.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:49:47 AM): with some people, as with you,
>
> > there's a general consensus in the system. "they" like you.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:50:00 AM): and so multiple personalities
>
> emerge
>
> > good_master_thor (1:50:00 AM): Gotcha
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:50:18 AM): Shelly had two failed marriages
>
> > before me.
>
> > good_master_thor (1:50:19 AM): So others may get a chance to come
>
> out
>
> > and meet Me...
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:50:25 AM): both due to mpd, we suppose.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:50:45 AM): Amber, the Protectress and Dominant
>
> > one, will be the one who will argue with you
>
> > good_master_thor (1:50:53 AM): oh goody
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:51:10 AM): she is the one I'm learning now,
>
> that
>
> > mainly deals with you
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:52:05 AM): my advice to you is don't get
>
> caught
>
> > up in wondering what personalities are there.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:52:18 AM): treat her as a whole person, as
>
> > you've been doing.
>
> > good_master_thor (1:52:52 AM): Nods....only that concerns
>
> Me........I
>
> > don't want to be in a room or pm cussing up a storm and have a lil
>
> one
>
> > pop in and not tell Me...
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:54:45 AM): There are three main little ones.
>
> > Each has a name. The main one is melody. She is 9 years old and is
>
> the
>
> > system "spy"... she always says, "no body tells me nothing" but she
>
> > knows everything that's going on with the other personalities. she's
>
> > always there, a mischeivous little spy girl. Then there's two other
>
> > younger girls, less prominent, more childlike.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:55:25 AM): so you might deal with melody
>
> > sometimes. the other little one's don't know how to use a computer.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:55:34 AM): but melody, I'm sure, knows
>
> > everything about you.
>
> > good_master_thor (1:55:40 AM): Trust Me.....they learn....LOL
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (1:56:01 AM): brb... she wants me to fill her
>
> in...
>
> > good_master_thor (1:56:06 AM): kk
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:02:22 AM): okay, I'm back.
>
> > good_master_thor (2:02:32 AM): kk
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:02:37 AM): I believe her past failed marriages
>
> > were due to mpd.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:02:51 AM): different personalities emerged,
>
> and
>
> > things happened.
>
> > good_master_thor (2:03:00 AM): makes sense.....not alot of people
>
> know
>
> > or understand or even believe in it
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:03:19 AM): no one could understand what was
>
> > happening. even she could not understand why the relationships
>
> failed.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:03:29 AM): people would tell her she did
>
> things
>
> > that she did not remember.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:04:02 AM): like the time she threw a lanturn
>
> at
>
> > Randy, and his pants caught on fire. Shelly and rain do not
>
> remember.
>
> > Amber says, "he deserved it."
>
> > good_master_thor (2:04:15 AM): oh great...lol
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:06:05 AM): I live with it. Over time I came to
>
> > realize it just wasn't that important. At first I absorbed myself in
>
> > it.... and as time went by I even got depressed... feeling lonely.
>
> But
>
> > I got over that. Each personality has a unique relationship with me.
>
> > And therefore, I also allow "them" to get online, and have online
>
> > relationships without feeling threatened.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:07:28 AM): Mostly I ignore which personality
>
> is
>
> > "out" at the time. I just talk with her like a normal person, and
>
> she
>
> > responds. But sometimes, like just before going to bed, melody comes
>
> > out very distintintly. I know it's melody, because she always calls
>
> > me, "Mister Man"... and becomes very playful.
>
> > good_master_thor (2:07:56 AM): Totally understand......I have read
>
> > alot of the books and case histories on it...but I always treated
>
> each
>
> > just like I would you....each one is a special person....and I
>
> showed
>
> > them that in the way I was around them...lil ones are sooo cute
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:11:09 AM): The little ones are the oldest
>
> ones,
>
> > if that makes sense. As far as I can see from my personal
>
> observation
>
> > and what I've learned, each personality emerged at a particular
>
> point
>
> > in life to branch out to deal with a terrible trauma. That's why
>
> it's
>
> > called DID these days, disassociative identity disorder, the correct
>
> > medical term. To deal with a trauma, a person sometimes detaches him
>
> > or herself. Sometimes they create an alternate reality to deal with
>
> > the situation until it's over. Since that works so well, in the
>
> > future, any traumatic situation or really really important situation
>
> > may later spin off another alter. Each alter seems stuck in time, at
>
> > the same age as the age they were originally spawned.
>
> > good_master_thor (2:12:07 AM): nods...yep.....I know I should use
>
> > DID....just stuck with the old habit of mpd...
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:14:01 AM): Amber is 16 years old. rain is
>
> > older.... I'm not sure how old. carla is about the same age as
>
> Amber.
>
> > Melody is 9. But behind all of this there is the original person.
>
> > That's Shelly, aka Charlotte Jean Eikmeir, her birthname.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:14:23 AM): correction, Amber is 17.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:14:32 AM): there was a marriage scheduled.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:14:38 AM): two young people were to be wed.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:14:42 AM): people were invited
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:14:47 AM): invitations sent
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:14:55 AM): hundreds of invitations.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:15:00 AM): a big church wedding.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:15:07 AM): and the guy ran away
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:15:19 AM): Amber was born to make the phone
>
> > calls to tell everyone not to come.
>
> > good_master_thor (2:15:56 AM): you mean I may have at one point been
>
> > bitched out by a 17 year old girl??? Great...
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:16:51 AM): Well, Amber has an important
>
> position
>
> > in the "system" .... She has become the protectress AND the
>
> > gatekeeper. She decides who may "come out" and who may not.
>
> > good_master_thor (2:17:36 AM): kk....I am used to that.......I was
>
> > very good friends with a Protector..........They have a huge
>
> > responsibility..
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:17:37 AM): she has online friends, and online
>
> > subs. I've seen her screen name on her computer. Mistress Rinnah.
>
> > good_master_thor (2:18:28 AM): That is who is supposed to be My
>
> > FC........She is a FW of GOR........Mistress Rinnah.......She is
>
> > signed on and pming with Me as that
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:20:43 AM): Amber is a wonderful person... who
>
> > over time - after a very rocky beginning, has developed a great
>
> > relationship with me. Yes, well, now you know about Amber, aka
>
> > Mistress Rinnah. But know for certain, that as far as She's
>
> concerned,
>
> > She is a person all to herself. She is NOT rain. rain is NOT
>
> Mistress
>
> > Rinnah. Nor do either of them necessarily know what the other is
>
> doing
>
> > or saying.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:20:47 AM): honest to goodness.
>
> > good_master_thor (2:21:42 AM): Cool with Me...........I won't worry
>
> > about it unless they decide to bring it up or tell Me
>
> > something.......easier that way
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:23:26 AM): ignore it, but if one of them PM's
>
> > you under a name, and it can be at the same time you're having a
>
> > conversation with her under another name, assume another alter wants
>
> > to talk with you and treat her as a completely unique person. All I
>
> > can say about that. When switching happens back and forth like that,
>
> > Shelly winds up with a big headache. Right in the middle of her
>
> > forehead. It's a switching headache.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:24:14 AM): she told me tonight, that she was
>
> > really worried that she'd told you about MPD. she didn't want you to
>
> > disappear.
>
> > good_master_thor (2:24:38 AM): Not a prob......I am used to
>
> > it.......each one is a different person to Me anyway so will not be
>
> a
>
> > problem.....I am not the type to run cause of something like
>
> this....
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:24:45 AM): Here's something to think about....
>
> > know about computers?
>
> > good_master_thor (2:24:54 AM): yep
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:26:46 AM): Well, the newest computers have a
>
> lot
>
> > of memory and very fast processors, so they can multitask. Older
>
> > computers don't multitask as well. This psychological condition DID
>
> > generally develops in people with exceptional intelligence. They can
>
> > compartmentalize their brain - multitasking personalities. Shelly's
>
> IQ
>
> > is 158.... considered a genius.
>
> > sadistic_guardianx (2:29:21 AM): Hope that helps. Good luck, and
>
> know
>
> > that as far as I'm concerned, I have absolutely no "envy" or feel
>
> she
>
> > is cheating. In fact, as far as some of the girls in that system,
>
> > "swinging" with more than one man is perfectly acceptable.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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>
>
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