Chris,

Thanks very much for your response. I found it refreshing and a bit insightful.

As you said, every system is different. For example, my g/f has a split
personality that deals with all the switching... BJ is the host, and then
there's Betty... She's the one who wants to do nothing when everyone has an
opinion on what to do, what to eat, etc.... BJ is everyone combined... She can
be more co-operative than anyone. Unfortunately, she has trouble coming out
because Betty was created to deal with things.... I just met BJ a couple months
ago... It's sad because BJ is who really really wants to be presenting the most.
I love them all though, but Betty can be hard to deal with sometimes. She has
so many issues dealing with compromise of the others and her own needs. BJ will
speak up, Betty won't.

Coinsedently, today is our one year anniversary.... I am happy as is she. We
will continue to grow together as a couple, and she towards intergration (she
also has an outside voice which we believe to be schziophrenic)... I have a
feeling that she will become more the person I did fall in love with. I myself
deal with bipolar, and may be a bit borderline personality... It's difficult,
but we are there for each. She knows and understands me better than anyone in
my whole life.. That's what I truly believe.

Thanks again for writing and I would like to join your little group, especially
if it's more active.

Take care, and good luck with the long distance thing.

mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com wrote:


There are 2 messages in this issue.

Topics in this digest:

1. Re: Tips for helping gf
From: mor2_love
2. Meet loyal, devoted and smart religious friends&singles???
From: "daniel_hotguy2000"


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Message: 1
Date: Wed, 23 Mar 2005 16:56:59 -0000
From: mor2_love
Subject: Re: Tips for helping gf


Hi Sandra, it looks like this group isn't too active anymore.

I'm on my second DID relationship and both have been long distance.
The first ended in disaster as it turned out my gf's system was more
about blame and mental abuse than working on her healing. To this
day that still hurts very much as I did love them so deeply.

In my relationship now I try to visit at least every 3 months and
make it a point to be here on the rougher months, like now.

You're lucky to have all those inside love you, and although every
system is different there could always be new ones to surface that
don't, so just a little forwarning.

The only tip I can offer is to never be deceitful to any of them, or
break a promise that you have control over. I say "control over"
because last year I was asked by my "gf" if we could get an
aquarium. I said sure and then later found out it wasn't her and
that an aquarium is not something she wants in the house right now.
It was frustrating to know they "tricked" me by pretending to be
her, and at the same time put me in a place of having to break my
promise which I try to avoid at all costs.

Also try to keep in mind that if she chooses to integrate, then
chances are she will not continue to always be the person you are
with now. It could be in many ways too. Less important things with
my gf have been her always drinking coffee, then 6 months later
saying she got too cranky with more than one cup, so switched to
decaf, and now I'm told she NEVER drinks decaf as it is nasty and
it's the real stuff or nothing. This is frustrating though, because
the truth is she DOES get crankier on the real stuff and things did
go smoother when she had cut down on it.

If you'd like a group that's a little more active, I have one under
this same addy's name. You can email me if your interested. We're a
very small group with a variety of posters. Lil's post there too so
if your gf has lils they might make some good friends. My best buddy
J is one of my gf's insiders and the group jr moderator! Good luck
with everything........

chris



--- In mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com, "Sandra"
wrote:
>
> Hi, my name is Sandra and I'm new here... I've been looking up
> info on DID ever since my gf told me about her "voices". She's
been
> diagnosed, as I thought she would be, and I've been doing my best
to
> help support her and be there for her. We've been together almost
a
> year and we live together. I know all her parts now, and they all
> totally love me. This is great for it helps me, a non-
> disassociator, to truly believe she is completely in love with me!
> :-)
>
> What I am asking if you guys (who have more experience with you
> spouse or lover than I do) if you have any tips, ways of helping
her
> cope, and for me to better be there for her.
>
> Many thanks,
>
> Sandra





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________________________________________________________________________

Message: 2
Date: Thu, 24 Mar 2005 10:40:21 -0000
From: "daniel_hotguy2000"
Subject: Meet loyal, devoted and smart religious friends&singles???


Meet loyal, devoted and smart religious friends&singles???

We all are devoted Muslim singles seeking for a lifepartner !!

http://www.geocities.com/search1friend_2000/
http://www.geocities.com/search1girl_2000/





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