HI Paul,
I'm glad you found this site too and my husband and I will do all we
can to help you. The first thing I am would wonder if I were you is
are you sure this is your wife and not an alter? My own alters have
done everything in the world to cause me trouble and I did end up
divorced but that was a different situation. That was my ex's fault.
Anyway, I have been married a year to my new husband but we've been
together (dating etc)for 3 yrs. The alters have done everything
possible to run him off. I'm sorry to say this, but they will lie,
pretend to be the host, other alters, sometimes anything to run off
the person who is closest to them. Sometimes just the thought of
someone loving them makes them fight. I dont know enough about your
situation (and I would like to know more) but if she thinks of you as
her "father" then that is a red flag for thinking its an alter
instead. Also, just six visits in counseling is not enough to even
begin to get started towards integration. Has she had therapy alone?
If not...this is EXTREMELY important that she get a therapist who is
EXPERIENCED in DID. It takes years of work to get to the point of
integration. I know...I have been in therapy 11yrs. But I did have 5
different therapists before I found one who is trained for treating
DID. I lived in the mountains of Eastern KY and no one there was
trained for that. I have an expert in the field now in Louisville and
even with our rigorous work we are still battling with the alters to
even cooperate. There is a LOT of hard, willing work to get to that
point though. If you just know this isnt her, then it probably isnt.
Dont give up hope! I know its hard! Poor Jeff, (my husband) has been
through it too. He can help you the most because he is the spouse.
Please send him an email. He doesnt get to get on the site very often
due to work etc. but he does check his emails pretty often. Please
send him an email...he can help you SOOOO much! I will tell him about
your case this evening and he can write you as early as tomorrow
morning. His email is gallantrocket@.... He has SOOO much to
offer other spouses of multiples. I also need your email address to
give to Jeff as well or he can just reply to you. Hang in there...we
are here for you.
Mary





-- In mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com, PAUL CIPRIANI <plcipriani@s...>
wrote:
> Hi Mary,
>
> I'm new to this site and I am so glad I found it!
>
> My name is Paul and my wife has DID. I think she might be at a
point of intigretion, but i'm not shure. She told me that she feels
as though she awoke from a "coma" and she is a differant person and
not the one I married. She said this happened last fall and since
then our relationship has fallen apart. Last week she filed for
divorce!? I have been there for her through it all and I wish I had
found this group sooner. I have done alot of research about DID, to
a point I could probibly write a paper about my experiances. This is
the darkest point of my life for I love her dearly and never expected
this to happen.
>
> We began marriage counciling last fall but after about six visits
she could not take it anymore and wanted to stop. She would get very
angry when I would express my feelings and told me "I just didn't get
it" but could't tell my what I didn't get when I asked her. She tells
me she that I am more of a "Father" figure to her than a Husband?
Now she doesn't even want to try to repair our marrage of 25 years.
This is also ripping apart my boy's, I have three ages 22,20 and 13.
I am really trying to hold it together but God its hard. I dont'
want to give up because she is a beuitiful person, and I know this
just isn't her. I have called her therapyst but she has not got back
to me yet.
>
> I need so help. Thanks for listening.
>
> Paul
> rollpsych2001 <no_reply@yahoogroups.com> wrote:
> Hi! I'm Mary. My husband and I are old groupies here and have been
> inactive for some time. Anyway, we are back and want to help all we
> can. I am a multiple and I also just graduated from college with a
BA
> in Psychology. My husband has done a great deal of studying about
DID
> with me and he knows all of the alters, their needs, what works and
> doesnt work with them, etc. I have been in therapy for 11yrs and
> pretty much know a lot about the different things to deal with.
Also,
> my husband has attended therapy with me a great deal so he knows a
> lot about what's going on too. Actually, he knows more than anyone
> I've met who doesnt have a degree. I am finally at the point of
> integration. We want to let everyone know that we would be MORE
than
> happy to answer any questions/concerns you might have. My husband
> would also like to talk to any spouses/SO's who would care to talk
to
> him. He can only receive messages by email because he checks these
at
> work etc a lot of the times. His email address is:
> gallantrocket@y... Mine is rollpsych2001@y... I will
> also be checking the messageboard and I also dont mind being IM'd
if
> you see me online. Thanks and hope to talk to all of you soon.
> Mary and Jeff
>
>
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