again its so nice to see everyone. and mark im so sorry to hear about
sandy blessings to you i hope that all is well and you are doing
better.

everyone in here is doing well i guess. i am kind of incommunicado
with a lot of my guys lately, due to my own ignorance and denial i
guess.

i cannot believe it literally has been YEARS since i talked to you
all. lynnie and kimmie and mark and everyone - everyone here says hi.

we are looking forward to the holidays. this year for new years we
are making our 2nd trip up to new york city to see the ball drop, and
cannot wait! i guess it has become a tradition. last year was really
fun, hopefully this year will be even more fun.

in august 2003 i graduated college, FINALLY, with my bachelors
degree. it took me longer than it takes most people, because of the
in and out of rehab thing, but i got through it,with a very good
GPA, and so i am proud of that.

right now im trying to decide which path to take. there is a graduate
school program at NYU, a masters in mid-east studies, that i really
want to do, but you have to take a GRE test to get in and it looks
really hard so im really scared of it. chances are good that i will
apply to NYU summer classes to take arabic. however, things change
you know? so i dont know for sure what will happen. another thing i
might do is this summer travel with a group to the west bank
(israel/palestine) and work over there for about 5 weeks. i have made
contact with a charity that has said they will fund my trip and hook
me up with people to stay with. that is exciting but i have to really
think hard about this. im sure you all are like wtf?

you see, i have become really involved in a certain political issue,
i wont detail it so that i wont bore anyone, but it is basically what
i want to spend my life doing. (and is in part why i want to learn
arabic). its a cause that i have found, and something that i really
want to work towards improving. anyways yeah.

ummmmm what else , went to inpatient rehab in summer 01, i was
actually there during 911 which was pretty scary for everyone. it did
good but i have relapsed off and on since but sincerely everything is
much better than it was. in the months before i went, i was drinking
to black out every single night, using speed during the day time, and
mixing in pills with the alcohol. it was really bad, i was really
scared, i finally just asked for help and i wound up going to a rehab
in hunt, texas.

to be honest i dont really let the littles have much time. i am in a
different relationship now and to avoid hurting anyones feelings who
might be reading this i wont go into detail about that, but she reads
to the littles and buys them toys and things like that. i know its a
bad thing but i still really try to keep them all pushed back. i
guess im striving for normalcy , where normalcy does not exist?

ok i will quit blabbing. i hope everyones doing good. love to you all
and safe hugs.

the crew