1. There are quite a few members who's spouse is a male with DID/MPD
the group has been quiet for some time.

2. I'm the DID/MPD and only "fragment" once in a while now.
Originally 3 main alters.

3. If these events are honestly happening with the therapist -
I can tell you that she is acting out of the professional limits
that her license has bound her to morally and ethically uphold.

I'm assuming she is in private practice. If she is not, she is held
to a regimin of meetings wherein with her superiors and collegues
she would be required to discuss general goals and outlines with
them involving your husbands case on some sort of standing basis.
Interestingly, she has no goals, so appears to behold unto none or
else the entire place is a crack pot.

MOST Therapists encourage within a few visits that goals, outlines,
and "what do you want to get out of therapy?" are questions/tasks
that are written and answered as soon as possible and are agreeable
and realistic to both parties.

I think she's a quack.

Julie

--- In mpdspouses@yahoogroups.com, "the_cailleach
<Rainscailleach@a...>" <Rainscailleach@a...> wrote:
> I was jsut looking for some general info. from the others in the
> group.
>
> 1 - Are there many of the members who have a male SO
>
> 2 - Anybody who's spouce is highly fragmented or continuing to
> fragment often (or anybody with DID with insight into this area?)
>
> 3 - I am looking for some general opinions on my husbands
therapists'
> approach. I'm not sure if I (and my husband) are oversensative
from
> our own paths but both of us are feeling suspicious of his
therapist.
> There are no other options in our city for DID or any therapists
> willing to try either. If he switched he would have to drive 2
hrs.
> each way to a larger city. At any rate we are both concerned but
> trying not to jump too quick incase it's our own sensativities.
These
> are some concerns...
>
> - We feel like she is a bit hostile toward me if I wish to attend
and
> times, or to offer my spouce any opinions of my own if they don't
> match hers. She's often trying to get him to make decisions with
her
> only, that will affect our family and challenges him about why he
> can't make a decision without me. He has explained that he can
make a
> decision but only after weighing in opinions of those affected and
> them making HIS choices with all the data.Recently I was on
vacation
> without my spouce ( to catch a break to clear my head) and his
> therapist called me to ask if I could stay away longer so she
could
> try to talk him into medicating. I told her no, then she asked me
to
> then not interfear. Now, I think I have a right to my opinions as
> does my husband to know them. I don't expect he has to or will
take
> any of my advise and I don't think of talking things over that he
> brings up to me as interfearance. His therapist seems to try to be
> putting a weadge into our communication because she thinks he is
> reliant on me. I agree he is and so does he; however, I think self
> reliance is the goal... she seems to be trying for a replacement
of
> the his reliance onto herself. She doesn't seem to have boundries
> (asking him to call her every day, every time we dissagree, and
> ANYTIME of the night. no days nights or times is she off limits to
> him - I find this a bit odd compaired to what i've read and talked
to
> my friend with DID about). She's not often direct and seems to not
> answer hard questions or concerns and my husband is very
frustrated
> as am I. I think it's common for transferance issues but how can
you
> tell if it's you or issues with the therapist? We have both talked
to
> her together about this and she seemed to act like it was my
husband
> transfering and I told her I though it was both but that she
seemed
> to take no ownership of her end of the issue - we left and nothing
> has changed after a couple more months. He feels she treats him as
a
> child and won't even go where he wants in therapy (but yet doesn't
> explain where they're going, what they're working on, or if she
feels
> he's not read she won't answer or tell him). He feels she gives
him
> no say in the goals and what they are working on. He's been seeing
> her for about a year and is still in the stabilization phase. He
> wants to proceed but she won't, but also doesn't explain why. I
> haven't spoken to her since she tried the stay away on vacation
> call... which by the way was without his knowledge and when he
> confronted her with his feelings about it she denied asking me
that
> and said I missunderstood. I am resisting the urge to call her as
I
> feel it's not going to change anything, but please be honest...
>
> is it me, DID patient, or poor therapy???
>
>
>
>
>
> I apreciate any insight - The Cailleach