I was jsut looking for some general info. from the others in the
group.

1 - Are there many of the members who have a male SO

2 - Anybody who's spouce is highly fragmented or continuing to
fragment often (or anybody with DID with insight into this area?)

3 - I am looking for some general opinions on my husbands therapists'
approach. I'm not sure if I (and my husband) are oversensative from
our own paths but both of us are feeling suspicious of his therapist.
There are no other options in our city for DID or any therapists
willing to try either. If he switched he would have to drive 2 hrs.
each way to a larger city. At any rate we are both concerned but
trying not to jump too quick incase it's our own sensativities. These
are some concerns...

- We feel like she is a bit hostile toward me if I wish to attend and
times, or to offer my spouce any opinions of my own if they don't
match hers. She's often trying to get him to make decisions with her
only, that will affect our family and challenges him about why he
can't make a decision without me. He has explained that he can make a
decision but only after weighing in opinions of those affected and
them making HIS choices with all the data.Recently I was on vacation
without my spouce ( to catch a break to clear my head) and his
therapist called me to ask if I could stay away longer so she could
try to talk him into medicating. I told her no, then she asked me to
then not interfear. Now, I think I have a right to my opinions as
does my husband to know them. I don't expect he has to or will take
any of my advise and I don't think of talking things over that he
brings up to me as interfearance. His therapist seems to try to be
putting a weadge into our communication because she thinks he is
reliant on me. I agree he is and so does he; however, I think self
reliance is the goal... she seems to be trying for a replacement of
the his reliance onto herself. She doesn't seem to have boundries
(asking him to call her every day, every time we dissagree, and
ANYTIME of the night. no days nights or times is she off limits to
him - I find this a bit odd compaired to what i've read and talked to
my friend with DID about). She's not often direct and seems to not
answer hard questions or concerns and my husband is very frustrated
as am I. I think it's common for transferance issues but how can you
tell if it's you or issues with the therapist? We have both talked to
her together about this and she seemed to act like it was my husband
transfering and I told her I though it was both but that she seemed
to take no ownership of her end of the issue - we left and nothing
has changed after a couple more months. He feels she treats him as a
child and won't even go where he wants in therapy (but yet doesn't
explain where they're going, what they're working on, or if she feels
he's not read she won't answer or tell him). He feels she gives him
no say in the goals and what they are working on. He's been seeing
her for about a year and is still in the stabilization phase. He
wants to proceed but she won't, but also doesn't explain why. I
haven't spoken to her since she tried the stay away on vacation
call... which by the way was without his knowledge and when he
confronted her with his feelings about it she denied asking me that
and said I missunderstood. I am resisting the urge to call her as I
feel it's not going to change anything, but please be honest...

is it me, DID patient, or poor therapy???





I apreciate any insight - The Cailleach