Good morning, Wanda! Welcome back! (Big hugs to my dear friend!)

I had noticed an email you'd sent and smiled as I was so glad to have you
back among us! (Another big hug!)

Easter eggs .. hidden blessings .

I have a journal where I write my feelings and thoughts. There are also
pages I have titled and left a few blank pages after to fill in as I go

Things I Miss About My Son - whenever I think of something that I remember
about him, like at Christmas just past, I wrote I missed Mike sitting at the
dining room table visiting with all his cousins

Blessings I Have Received - a little girl walked up to me and told me God
told her to give me her "special rock" and pressed it into my hand and
disappeared (a pretty purple rock), a neighbor helped me start the lawnmower
(sometimes I just list things, sometimes I write a little more about them)

Things Mikey Liked - I am still remembering things Mike liked to do as a
child, teen, or adult . sometimes seeing something will remind me and I add
it to the list



Writing down even little blessings and then looking back over the pages
makes me note that they have been many and accumulating! The negatives in my
life have been huge and devastating and tend to blur my vision and make me
lose hope. If I stop and remember all the good things, though sometimes
small, they add up to a very large positive that helps balance the scales a
little.



Glad to have you back, Wanda!

Love (and more hugs!)

Sandi



From: mourninglossofachild@yahoogroups.com
[mailto:mourninglossofachild@yahoogroups.com] On Behalf Of guess who
Sent: Saturday, May 03, 2008 6:11 AM
To: mourninglossofachild@yahoogroups.com
Subject: Re: [Mourning Loss of a Child] Hello, I am new



Good Morning Sandi,
Nice to see you to hear from you, I told you I would come on back & be a
part of this group again I just had to get my mind & heart set on a new
path.

Sleep??????????? I went from no sleep hardly at all to falling into a deep
sleep every time I sit down, I have bad dreams, some could even be listed as
nightmares.

Val, welcome aboard, I am so sorry you like all of us have to be here, I
lost my son 27 years old to a car wreck, he had just come through some awful
times with his wife & her family & was trying to settle down & get his life
back on track. He wrecked on April 24th & died on the 25th, 2004

I feel in reality I do have so much to be thankful for but missing him will
never go away, needing him to be here to talk with me, he was my middle son,
so I am blessed to have his 2 brothers though he was my confidant, the other
2 & I have a disagreement I don't see or hear from them for a little while,
he would turn almost instantly & say "oh Momma I am sorry when I said this
or that I meant ............," (you know?)
he was the 1st to end any hard feelings or disagreeing the other 2 they stay
away until they think I am not upset any more then call with a little boy
voice to see what I am having for dinner, all my children are so special as
I know all of yours are too, so please try to look for the blessings,
sometimes it's like Easter Eggs they are not out in the open we have to
search for them, God has his reasons & though we may not understand, we are
not alone he is always with us & as Sandi has said we have each other, we
know the pain, the emptiness, the hole these kids have left in our lives,
but there is a promise from God that he loves us & though he does not always
give us what we want he does give us what we need!
God Bless You All
Travis' Mom
Wanda

----- Original Message ----
From: Sandi Dean <Wiggy516@... <mailto:Wiggy516%40aol.com> >
To: mourninglossofachild@yahoogroups.com
<mailto:mourninglossofachild%40yahoogroups.com>
Sent: Saturday, May 3, 2008 8:46:25 AM
Subject: RE: [Mourning Loss of a Child] Hello, I am new

I'm up in the VERY early morning - it's still dark and even my pets aren't
jumping up to join me as they usually do when I rise. It's Saturday, one of
the two days I can sleep in a little, and here I am up . still so tired, but
restless. Work is extremely stressful right now - much going on and I'm sort
of the central hub. Much to do at home to get caught up and still an effort
to get things done here because I'm so tired from work, mentally I'm still
working on my griefs, and physically I'm still recovering from a fall down
two flights of stairs and surgery on my shoulder.

I smiled as I read some of this morning's mail from this group because I am
so amazed and pleased that amidst our hurt and pain we still have the
compassion and understanding to reach out and welcome each newcomer! With
heightened sensitivity that comes with grief, particularly the long lasting
deeper grief of child loss, we do tend to lose some of our family and
friends because they are ready to move on and tire of our negativity, our
sadness, our need to retell our stories forever, our "changed"
personalities. Some of them do not come around or call as often because its
difficult for them to be around a depressed person. Some of them we avoid -
we don't answer their calls or call back. We retreat from activities we once
went to.. Also we easily flare up at others' attitudes, habits, comments,
and activities - we tend to have less patience than before.

It's amazing with all the hurt and pain in this group that we are so
understanding of each other. We listen. We don't judge. We don't try to
hurry. We don't tell each other to "get over it." We are well aware of some
of the things that aren't so comforting to hear, and yet, even when one of
our group members does make a comment to try to comfort us that could be
taken wrong, we don't flare up and get annoyed. We take it as it was
intended - with love and concern.

Thanks to all of you on this journey with me. Thanks for your kindness to me
and your kindness to each other.

Helen and Val, you are in my morning prayers.

Sandi

From: mourninglossofachil d@yahoogroups. com
[mailto:mourninglossofachil d@yahoogroups. com] On Behalf Of Helen
Sent: Saturday, May 03, 2008 5:04 AM
To: mourninglossofachil d@yahoogroups. com
Subject: Re: [Mourning Loss of a Child] Hello, I am new

Hi Val,
My daughter died after a surgery gone wrong May 18th 2002. She was 12 1/2.
It is very painful to loose a child & yes, most people just don't understand
the pain we fee & continue to feel. Please tell us more about you son Tim.
What did he like to do, was he a husband or father to? This is a laid back
group & you are welcome to talk anytime.
Hugs,
Helen
Lisa's Mum

"Val Watson (Reed)" <valwatson47@ yahoo.com. au
<mailto:valwatson47 %40yahoo. com.au> > wrote:
My name is Val, I live in Melbourne,Australia .
My son Tim died aged 27yrs in May 2000, nearly 8 yrs ago. he died of
an accidental overdose of prescription drugs.

I miss Tim so much, I find it hard to believe that it is 8 years
since I have seen him or hugged him.
Tim was suffering from severe depression when he died.

I also have a daughter, who is getting married on May 16th, believe
me, it is a bitter sweet occasion for me, as Tim should be there to
see his sister get married.

I am also the grandmother of a gorgeous little boy, who has brought
much joy to my life in the last 3 years.

I hope that through this group I can interact with others who are
suffering a loss also.
I have lost all my relatives since my son died......they just didnt
want to talk about him anymore.

I married again for the 2nd time 3yrs ago and my husband is wonderful
and lets me talk about my precious son.

Val.

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