when my? son died of suicide 2/3/77 11/17/93 i do remember thinking i will not
make it? to the end of the week elt alone the month at the time? i had two
children my son Michael Alfred who was 16 and my daughter Marlo who was 13 then,
i do remember any time I went? into a restaurant or a store I? would tell
someone any one my son died i did not know of POS or the Internet then, I did
start concielingalot, I was too soft as? Mom I was too this or that I did not
have? support as this, BUT i truly believed I would? not be able to go on, see
my son was IS my breathe my air my everything, so how could i go on why,OH ii
did need to go on she needed to be able to see that life and? everything, but it
was so so difficult, gradually each day being so different, I do remember trying
to? make YET another deal with GOD and telling him ok let me live to get my
daughter to be 18 then Please God take? me to my son please, well i got her to
18, and then I left the marriage, i needed to? i could not live or breathe, i
then went back to school how i dotn know and then a 4 year school and now
graduate i am not saying that for anything or any reason i sometimes I Hate that
i have come so far does it mean that I don't love him, no i am TRYING to live,
and try i do, I DO know i have kept my heart so tight so locked so NO One will
get? to it, but it is melting, and while here? now i want to thank each man and?
women for this thank you for i come here each and every? day and feel the
comfort thank you so xoxoxo fondly Margaret mother to Michael and Marlo always



michaelalfredpelleriti.bravehost.com



-----Original Message-----

From: Mariah Dell <mariah_dell@...>

To: parentsofsuicides@yahoogroups.com

Sent: Fri, 11 Jan 2008 12:13 pm

Subject: Re: [PoS] Suz



Thank you. It helps so much you're there.Mariah, Ricks mum



Suz <suziq3322@...> wrote: Dear Mariah,



I so agree with you and am so very sorry that you are suffering. Your pain is so
new and raw. (((((((((((Mariah)))))))))))



I so wish I had abswers or words to help your pain subside, but there are no
words that I know of that will even come close to easing your pain.



Hugs & Prayers



Jean



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Mariah, Ricks mum



5/23/70- 11/27/07



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