Hello Everyone
The holiday is fast approaching and we all have something in
common a lost. We feel no-one cares, the world is moving on what do I
do? We can cry, we can crawl up in the bed, we can shut ourselves
off from the world, remember the world doesn't care about us. All we
have in this group is each other. I have been in bondage for
seventeen years of my life. It hurts, I cried, I hide from the world,
I lost valuable time I could never get back, I lost everything that I
had a plan for which was my life. I can't get back that time that I
lost. This is my year of closure. It hasn't been easy and it is a
process. A process I will take day by day. I'm afraid to really step
out in the real world a world that I had known before the violent
murder of my son. It feels like a zone you been living in. Things are
becoming real to you again. All the other years I was just living. I
want to live, I want to be happy, I want to smile and feel good about
me. I haven't been able to do that for seventeen years. This is my
first christmas since kenny died that I truly want to celebrate
christmas.
I want to put up a christmas tree, I want to be able to put
seventeen gifts under the tree for me. I am deserving of each and
everyone of them. It can be seventeen empty boxes but I will be
happy. I have learned to be happy with nothing, just as I have since
kenny died,I felt I had nothing after his death.

Please don't be me. Let me help you in anyway I can. I know it
hurts. To lose seventeen years of you life and still be able to
come back and help someone else is a blessings. If God had taken me
in the years of my grief, no matter what my death certificate cause
would have said, I would have died of a Broken Heart. God has fixed
me and he will surely do the same for you.

Visit my website daily. wwwpatriciayarbrough.com I post weekly
blogs on my site to help the world because it is no longer about me.

Have a safe and Merry Christmas. Do the best you can in the
situation you were forced to be in.