WHEN SUFFERING VISITS

I recall sitting with a woman a few years ago whose only
son had unexpectedly died. I had sat in the same place a couple of
years before when her husband had passed away. Of course, the loss of
her son was opening the wound, not yet fully healed, caused by her
husband's death.

With tear-filled eyes and pursed lips she lamented, "Oh,
how terrible life can be! Isn't this world a terrible place?"

What could I say? On the one hand, I be­lieve that the
world can be a wonderful and en­chant­ing place. There are
times of
fun and joy and happiness. I even believe life can be an exciting
ad­venture!

On the other hand, for her right then, the world was
indeed a terrible place. All of her family was gone. She faced the
prospect of countless days filled with heartache and endless nights
of
loneli­ness. Such grief cannot be dismissed with a quick, "Oh, it
will
be all right. You'll be fine." Or, "Don't worry, he's in a better
place." Regardless of whether these statements are true, to minimize
her feelings of loss at that moment would have done her a great
disservice. More than anything, she needed some­one to understand
her
pain and confusion.

"It's a difficult world to live in," I finally said,
taking her hand. "I'm sorry."

She eventually did get through both losses. It was
difficult and took time, but with help from her friends and hope from
her faith she was able put her life back together. She was able to
laugh and sing again.

When the world seems like a terrible place, I think it is
good to remember a few things:

* Please don't blame yourself for something that may not be your
fault. The death of a family member is a good example. There are some
things which are beyond your control.

* Remember that you will get through it, even if it doesn't seem so
at the time. One widowed woman remarked to me six months after her
spouse's death, "I used to have more bad days than good days. Now I
have more good days!" She was moving through her loss.

* Remember that you are not isolated. Please reach out to others when
you hurt. And draw upon your spiritual resources. You are not alone.

This world can be fun and challenging, filled with
laughter and happiness! But when suffer­ing visits, remembering
these
things can help ease the hurt.
__________ Marianne