I really don't know how to deal with my husbands grief any longer. He
has so much anger built up inside, and his drinking has gotten worse.
Since he has been out of work for these 3 weeks, he sits and drinks
till the depression gets so bad. Myself and others have told him that
the alchol us not the answer it makes it worse.

I was sitting with him earlier, and he says he doesn't want to live
anymore, and I get mad at him sometimes because he makes he sound
like he is the only one who is griefing. He won't agree to see a
grief counselor he saids he doesn't need one.

When our son was killed at the Pentagon, Mike who is a sheet metal
worker asked his local here to see if the union down there would let
him come and work on the Renovation of the Pentagon which the plane
destroyed and our son worked in. He was down there from Jan of 2002
till the day before the year anniversary of the attack, he lived in
an RV we bought down at an RV park down in Maryland and went back and
forth to work each day at the Pentagon. He spent his nights sitting
in the RV surronded by memories of our son that he took with him, and
now has the RV out in our back yard, were he goes when he is drinking
and sits and listens to my sons CDs still surronded by all the
memoribilia. I thought he working down there would help him deal with
the lost but now I don't know if that was a good thing for him to do.

I can't see how I can be expected to live day to day with his moods
and stay strong for myself. I can't see his anger over the way Matt
died ever coming to an end. I just don't know why to do or how to
help him,

Sorry to go on and on, but I'm just a nervous wreck and don't know
where to turn.

Love & Hugs,

Sheila