Hi Everyone,

I am posting this article here because ADHD children have a higher rate
of incontinence. There are so many issues dealing with incontinence for
Adult, Parents, Teenagers and Adolescence and all have different views &
perspective on these issues. Also at different degrees suffering due
from this condition, but is mostly due to society view on the issue that
cause this emotional distress rather the physical aspect it, but I
believe those that are incontinent are partly to blame because this is a
closet subject and we don't speak up because of the fears of what other
people might think on the issue.

It appears that dealing with the physical aspect of incontinent is not
a big issue for adolescence as much as the emotional issues (Being
treated younger than they are, Self-Esteem issues Etc) where our more
mature adults have come in terms with their incontinence have good
Self-Esteem and it more a the physical aspect of dealing with
incontinence than the emotional aspect that our younger members
experience.

We have some adult that are parents that had this issue when a child,
and do a better job handling this incontinence issue with their
children. Now that is not to say that parents that had not this issue
growing up don't do a good job dealing with this issue. However I find
that this group of parents in general does not handle this issue very
well then the parents who had bedwetting issues while growing up.

I believe this true due to their lack of understanding of the issues,
and making wrong conclusions what really causing it and use
inappropriate measures to correct it. This is not to say they are bad
parents just misinformed parents. We had some parents in this group that
believe truly their child is lazy and felt that this was just a child
that was irresponsible and need to be corrected, which they use
humiliation and spankings to correct a child. Which makes as much sense
as spanking a child that snores.

25% of house holds have no history of bedwetting in their family so
this is a large population, and because it doesn't run in their family
they have lack of support from family members, which end up giving bad
advice, because they simply don't understand the issue. I had one parent
try to motivate their young teenager by humiliating them by bring out
the diaper in front of their friends and tell him it time to be change,
which you might think this is terrible thing to do, but from her
perspective she really believed that her child was just lazy and
probably tried other things that didn't work and the child may have
acted that they didn't really care because they gave up and didn't have
any control. So the mother came to the wrong conclusion that her child
was lazy and irresponsible didn't care. Was this a bad parent no just a
missed informed parent?

Children most often don't realize how their incontinence affects their
parents. Incontinent children are very high maintenance and require
their parent to devote more time and thought in meeting their needs.
Parents must first make sure their hygiene are met, because kids are not
very diligent in this regard (Even Teenager) and need to make sure they
have all the supplies when traveling and plan when and where to change a
child. (When the time comes to find an appropriate place to change).
Also parents must also meet their child emotional needs regarding this
issue. (Which I find a lot of parent concentrating more on the physical
aspect then emotional needs).

Children also don't realize how tiring this can be especially if you
have a child that gives you a hard time managing the incontinence. Also
there is the economic factor of buying all the supplies, which could go
for other things. Parents do get tired of this issue like children and
do get frustrated at times dealing with this issue, and especially if
they have no support from family or friends where they may get the
impression from them that they have poor parenting skills. (Because they
cannot potty train their child.)

Parent sometimes miss how hard this is for the child because they make
assumption they Know and understand their child and that this doesn't
really affect them, for this is a normal condition that they had since
birth, and because the kids appear that they don't care. (But I find
this a defense mechanism on child behalf because the older they get the
more they realize that their friends don't have this issue and they get
frustrated because they would like to stop and can't so they sort of
give up, and appear they don't care but they really do)

Also parents sometimes don't notice a change in a child while they are
growing up, because they are dealing with this child everyday in the
same manor in regards to managing their incontinence. We had reports of
boys and girls of around 10 & 11 where their parents would think nothing
of changing them anywhere and in front of anyone not realizing that this
is very embarrassing to the child. Where when the child was younger this
was not an issue but it is now ! Also Parents will talk openly in front
of others about this issue, and when they were younger was not an issue
but again now at 10 they find this very embarrassing !

The parents that I find the hardest to deal with are the parents that
had not had this an issue in their family and they are the first and
they wait for the child to out grow this and when it appears their child
are not out growing it they come to the group to find a quick fix, which
their really is none. They are things that can speed up the process of
gaining control but no miracle cure. Also they seem focus on their child
physical need to correct this and not heir emotional need.

Kids will eventually out grow this (98% do out grow it) but what is
important is how it affected them emotional which can affect them for
lifetime !

Sincerely,

Steven F. Trimarco

Stay Dry Bedwetting Group

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/staydry/
<http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/staydry/>







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