He was only a child when it begun -and he played as children do- in his yardwith
his toy cars and tip trucksBut his sand was asbestos blue?
In December 1999, my husband and I were walking home from a game of lawn bowls
when I became aware of his shortness of breath.
I was surprised and concerned when he told me that he had experienced this on
several occasions. Believing this to be due to chest a infection, I made a
doctor’s appointment for him the next day.
Chest X-rays revealed fluid on the lungs, over two litres of which was
drained, giving Brian immediate relief, but it was a tense wait for the
pathology results.Through the Internet I had become aware of several conditions
which may have been responsible for fluid on the lung; these included asbestos-
related diseases. Brian had lived in Wittenoom as a child and I was afraid of
his diagnosis. Not wanting to worry him unnecessarily, I did not mention my
fears to him. I prayed that he had pleurisy or pneumonia but the pathology
results revealed that there were cancer cells present.
When Brian finally received his diagnosis, my worst nightmare became reality.
He had pleural mesothelioma, a terminal cancer of the lung caused by the
inhalation of asbestos dust. We found it inconceivable that the disease was the
result of Brian inhaling asbestos dust as a child and that it had lain dormant
for forty-five years before become lethal.
We were still reeling from the shock when, without preamble, the young doctor
gave his prognosis. His exact words were, “Three to nine months, I reckon”. That
he could say this so unfeelingly amazed me. His total lack of compassion did not
encourage even the small comfort of tears. I felt as if Brian and I had been
shot and from that moment on we were waiting to drop.
Undoubtedly, were mortally wounded. We suffered shock, disbelief, anger,
helplessness and utter despair; in fact all the symptoms of grief one feels when
a loved one has actually died. Once again we found ourselves with no control
over our lives. This time however, there was no light at the end of the tunnel.
Our journey through terminal illness had begun.
Throughout the course of our married life my deep love for Brian and my
determination to resolve difficulties had seen us through many trials. I found
it hard to believe that nothing could be done to save his life and begun surfing
the Internet for information regarding mesothelioma, all the time praying for a
miracle, hoping against hope to find a doctor who had successfully operated on
or cured someone of it.
It was a sad realization to discover that for Brian there were no miracles;
however, I learned a lot and it helped me to accept that he was dying. With my
acceptance came a fierce determination to ease his burden. I continued to seek
information regarding mesothelioma and the pain and symptoms Brian would
experience, due to the progression of his disease. In this way, I came to
understand the importance of pain management and symptom control and realized
that although I could not stop Brian from dying - I could help him to live.
My acquired knowledge regarding pain and symptom management enabled me to
communicate with Brian and to understand the type of pain he was experiencing
and the intensity of that pain. I was then able to work hand in hand with his
doctors, to bring his pain and symptoms under control. As my efforts resulted in
his improved quality of life, I lost my sense of helplessness and gained
strength.
Together, we achieved for Brian, a quality of life few thought possible,
considering the nature of his disease. Testament to this, Brian survived for 2
years despite his prognosis of 3 to 9 months. Remained active and alert, drove
his car for eighteen months after diagnosis and was not bed bound until three
short days prior to his death.
Brian’s courageous battle with mesothelioma came to an end on the 24th
December 2001, he passed away at home surrounded by his loved ones. He was 54
years old.
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