I have had an issue that I have worked on for years.
This all started well over a decade ago. My father
wanted to help me with money for college and so he
got a few dollars together and paid for me to attend
bartending school.

The problem was that I just couldn't remember the
drink recipes. I used mnemonics and all sorts of other
things, yet nothing stuck.

I tried self hypnosis and meditation and writing them
down a hundred times and they would stick for about
a day and then evaporate.

So I gave up, but I ended up going back a few years
later, and the same thing happened. Over the years I
have gone back several times.

Now it did occur to me that the reason I was stuck was
because as a child my father was a drinker and I had
some unpleasant memories, but now as an adult I have
many friends who drink and they are not out of control
when they drink.

In any case I used eft and that was the thing that finally
made me able to learn the recipes. I have something like
50 recipe cards and I can recite them backwards and
forwards now. Which is very amazing to me.

Here is where I would like some advice though.

See the last time I went to the bartending school one
teacher was pushing me very hard to take the final test.
I told her I was not ready and she said just try.

Well I tried and started to blunder things. Just in case
you didn't know in a bartending school you make drinks
the same way you would in a bar you just have colored
water in the bottles.

Well the teacher is asking me how to make a this-or-that
and I would start to make it but she would stop me and
say oh no you need to add this not that.

I told her we should stop because I obviously was not
ready, but she continued to push me and I began to
screw things up even more. Finally I just walked out
because my tension became so great I couldn't even remember
the most basic drinks.

At this point I know the drinks, and I know that I know
the drinks because I have had people talk to me and mention
some drink and I would say "Oh yeah isn't that..." and I
was right.

The issue is going back to the school. I have tapped several
times when thinking about the teacher and that school but
something is not connecting. I want to go back and yet I
am still afraid of f-ing things up again or having someone
belittle or patronize me again.