--- In menseatingdisorders@y..., "Miss_Mellow" <ish479@a...> wrote:
> Now before I ask this let me just say that I don't want to step on
> toes or offend anyone. Part of my research paper is to bring truth
to
> light so here is my question: have any of you found that your ED
> started because you were dealing with a bigger issue like the
> questioning of your sexuality? I ask because whenever people tend
to
> think about men having eating disorders, they always assume those
> men "must be gay" and I don't believe that since there aren't too
> many gay men (as far as I know) that pick wrestling as a sport in
> high school. So I guess what I want to know is how many of you are
> straight and how many are gay and do you think eating disorders
> correlate with one or the other more?
>
> Aisha

Aisha,

In response to your question of how a man's sexuality and their
developing sexual orientation plays into the development of an ED, I
know that for me personally, looking back on my life at the time when
i had an active ED, I know that my growing knowledge that i was gay
had a major part of the ED. Of course there were other factors
involved with me, but that was a major factor. Of course, i believe
that the occurrence of an ED in a guy cannot be universally
categorized as either being the result of sexuality issues or not
being the result of them, for everyone is different; i'm sure that
there are straight men who develop EDs in relation to their
sexuality, and straight men who develop EDs with no relation to it,
just as there are most likely gay men who develop EDs without any
relation to their sexuality, just as there are those who do develop
EDs because of one. The only difference is, i think a larger number
of gay men develop eating disorders because of their sexuality or in
relation to their sexual orientation, compared to straight men. This
is the result, i think, of the greater issue of self-acceptance and
acceptance from society and societal issues which is more problematic
for gay men than for men with "normal" sexuality. But of course, EDs
occur in both groups and are the result of many reasons. And the
occurrence of an ED cannot be just the result of sexuality or sexual
orientation issues, just as they are not the result of any other
factor only.
Regarding your reference to the fact that it's always assumed that
gay men are the only men who develop EDs, that is of course an error
that should be corrected, and can be corrected only by looking at
things objectively. This shouldn't become an issue of sexual
orientation only, although that factor should be examined. I can't
say that i understand your reference to the fact that "most gay men
don't choose wrestling as a sport in high school"...i don't
understand what relation this has to the development of an ED. And
there are, of course, both straights and gays who do choose wrestling
as an activity, just as there are many others in both groups that
don't. And there are many men who do wrestle who never develop EDs,
just as there are some who do. So the connection between wrestling
and sexual orientation is most likely irrelevant.
I also don't know if the development of EDs occurs at a higher rate
in men in gay or in straight subgroups. But i believe that overall,
the issue of sexual orientation is more of an issue in male ED than
in female ED. This of course does not mean that there are not many
males with EDs where sexual orientation or sexuality does not play
any factor at all. I think it must be remembered that the development
of an ED in any individual is the result of many factors,
psychologically, emotionally, socially, physically and societal, and
the examination of any particular factor as "the" cause is bound to
result in disappointment as a final solution to "figure out" ED in
males. And of course, all of the above is only my opinion, and should
only be taken as such. If anyone has any comments, questions, or
disagreements with anything i have said, i welcome them to write me
with them to: bto519@.... i hope that this sharing of my
opinion helps you in some way with your research. -Ben